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Author Topic: It feels strange  (Read 3823 times)

Dannii

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It feels strange
« on: 12 March 2021, 01:39:34 am »
When things did not go my way last year I decided to go on an extended working holiday around Europe, fortune took me to Austria where I started working in reception of a well being centre but drifted into lap dancing and prostitution. So far I have worked nine weeks in total as the clubs got shut down.

When I think about the fact I am a prostitute  (or going to be one) I feel fine about it, but when I come to writing it down like here, or when I talk about it, it feels odd, it like I need to confirm it in my head that it is me being referred to

So wondered about the experience of others?




washingline

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #1 on: 14 March 2021, 09:28:45 am »
It feels strange because it is new, to you. When you have been doing it longer, it will feel more normal for you.

Nelly

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #2 on: 17 March 2021, 09:22:29 pm »
It can feel strange because prostitution is often seen as a negative thing, dangerous and taboo. If you don't feel that "fits" with your view of yourself, it can be hard to get used to, and in some cases, can cause psychological distress.

On the other hand, if you have a strong idea of your own identity, and don't like the label of prostitute, then you don't have to use it! These days society is far more accepting of people defining themselves. You don't have to be tied to any label you don't like.

Nelly

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #3 on: 17 March 2021, 09:26:30 pm »
I also think there's an awful lot of us that love escorting and enjoy it for ourselves. But then question the hows and whys when we consider it from an outside perspective.

GoneGirl

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #4 on: 28 March 2021, 11:54:32 pm »
I also think there's an awful lot of us that love escorting and enjoy it for ourselves. But then question the hows and whys when we consider it from an outside perspective.

Exactly this. Sometimes I question my own sanity for being so okay with it.

MatureDelight

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #5 on: 06 April 2021, 09:08:37 am »
I can really resonate with the posts on this thread. I am a mature escort and I’ve worked on and off for the past 15 years. Clearly I enjoy the work and it suits my personality, demeanour and high sex drive or I wouldn’t have kept coming back to it (of course there’s been a few unpleasant experiences along the way but nothing I couldn’t  handle). However, the hardest part of the job for me has been living with the label and the stigma that it carries. The toll of that on my mental health has been much harder than the job itself. I got outed very early on and I’ve never really recovered from it to be honest. I don’t judge myself for being a hooker, I know that I am still a kind and decent person. But when I view myself through the eyes of others I can sometimes feel misunderstood and it can become a source of shame for me if I don’t keep it in check. I am currently studying at an advanced level in a different field and I continually worry about being my secret job being exposed. There’s no doubt in my mind I would be rejected from the industry entirely if that happened.

My advice to anyone just starting out would be to be yourself and enjoy yourself but be so so careful who you tell; once that genie is out of the bottle there’s no putting it back in! Xxxx

Thoroughly Modern Millie

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #6 on: 11 April 2021, 09:24:44 am »
The term prostitute actually means to put (oneself or one's talents) to an unworthy or corrupt use for personal or financial gain. Thank about that, and how many people prostitute themselves by working in jobs they do not enjoy purely for financial gain. So, it's not just applicable to sex work.

I think there's something very honest about sex work. However, given society's attitude towards it, very few people know I do it. And to be frank, it's none of their business anyway.

I have never felt strange accepting money for my time and sexual favours. In fact, it felt completely natural even from the first time.   

Things always need time to settle, including this. Keep a diary so you can reflect on things, and that way, you can see how/if your feelings change).
« Last Edit: 11 April 2021, 08:13:29 pm by Thoroughly Modern Millie »

Nadya

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Re: It feels strange
« Reply #7 on: 11 April 2021, 05:37:19 pm »
Exactly this. Sometimes I question my own sanity for being so okay with it.

I understand this and yet, I think I had about a week of ruminating over the title and whether it was weird that I wasn't more conflicted about it before I got over myself and put it away because for years I had wondered at the hypocrisy and misogyny of the industry.  Women who had sex on screen were 'Porn stars/Actresses/performers but if they got paid for sex in private, they were Whores and worthy of derision?  Naaah, that don't work for me.  I've always been positive about sex work and always had a healthy libido and have had lots of lovers and after having one too many shit sex sessions with useless men I questioned my sanity in NOT getting paid for it to be honest.  It has honestly been the smartest move I have made and I regret not doing it earlier and putting up with really bad jobs that I loathed.