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Author Topic: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically  (Read 22097 times)

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #60 on: 23 December 2015, 07:05:29 pm »
Mature Helen said:
Quote
Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

Agree. But... offering a service that you literally hate, so you can "splash it on Debenhams" and then coming to the forum and slagging off the poor guy who payed you is not going to bring you much sympathy from the public... My point is: you imagine a surgeon saying in public: "I hate operating on people, but I was thinking on the new porsche I was going to buy while I was doing a face-list to this stupid rich cow lying on my operating table. Poor deluded woman is just another old hag who wants to look 40 years younger. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of the operating room.I'm completely emotionally exhausted now because of it and need to rant and rave."

I would think you need to get another job.
« Last Edit: 23 December 2015, 07:14:07 pm by Ana30 »
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ameliahoney

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #61 on: 23 December 2015, 07:18:22 pm »
Mature Helen said:
Quote
Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

Agree. But... offering a service that you literally hate, so you can "splash it on Debenhams" and then coming to the forum and slagging off the poor guy who payed you is not going to bring you much sympathy from the public... My point is: you imagine a surgeon saying in public: "I hate operating on people, but I was thinking on the new porsche I was going to buy while I was doing a face-list to this stupid rich cow lying on my operating table. Poor deluded woman is just another old hag who wants to look 40 years younger. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of the operating room.I'm completely emotionally exhausted now because of it and need to rant and rave about it"

I would think you need to get another job.

In an ideal world no professional would ever whinge about their clients, they would be grateful for the work and shut up. However, human nature is what it is. I've worked in bars, banks and customer srvice and in each of those jobs it was totally normal to let off steam to your colleagues when you had an annoying customer. Sex work is no different and one of the great things about this forum is that it gives us a chance to have a little moan when we need to :)
FWIW I didn't see Lois's post as malicious, she was just letting off steam about someone's ridiculous behaviour. I'm sure she gave him a professional service and quite clearly she sent him away with a smile as he wants to see her again.

Kay

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #62 on: 23 December 2015, 07:33:02 pm »
Although I happened to post on this thread, my original post was a general observation - it wasn't directed at Lois in particular. As I said, I've noticed a handful of women starting threads or writing multiple posts about things I would barely register.

I think it's worth remembering that anyone, including the men who keep our careers going, can read parts of this forum; what one person writes can create an impression of us all. Yes, we all need to vent spleen occasionally, but if you have something you feel you need to moan about publicly nearly every single day - surely that's a sign that something is wrong?

I'd just like people to think twice about whether they really need to start a thread for something proportionately trivial.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

BlaqHarlot

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #63 on: 23 December 2015, 07:40:00 pm »
Mature Helen said:
Quote
Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

Agree. But... offering a service that you literally hate, so you can "splash it on Debenhams" and then coming to the forum and slagging off the poor guy who payed you is not going to bring you much sympathy from the public... My point is: you imagine a surgeon saying in public: "I hate operating on people, but I was thinking on the new porsche I was going to buy while I was doing a face-list to this stupid rich cow lying on my operating table. Poor deluded woman is just another old hag who wants to look 40 years younger. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of the operating room.I'm completely emotionally exhausted now because of it and need to rant and rave."

I would think you need to get another job.
Spot on. If they were on the receiving end of it I am sure their opinion would be different.

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #64 on: 23 December 2015, 07:51:17 pm »
Mature Helen said:
Quote
Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

Agree. But... offering a service that you literally hate, so you can "splash it on Debenhams" and then coming to the forum and slagging off the poor guy who payed you is not going to bring you much sympathy from the public... My point is: you imagine a surgeon saying in public: "I hate operating on people, but I was thinking on the new porsche I was going to buy while I was doing a face-list to this stupid rich cow lying on my operating table. Poor deluded woman is just another old hag who wants to look 40 years younger. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of the operating room.I'm completely emotionally exhausted now because of it and need to rant and rave about it"

I would think you need to get another job.

In an ideal world no professional would ever whinge about their clients, they would be grateful for the work and shut up. However, human nature is what it is. I've worked in bars, banks and customer srvice and in each of those jobs it was totally normal to let off steam to your colleagues when you had an annoying customer. Sex work is no different and one of the great things about this forum is that it gives us a chance to have a little moan when we need to :)
FWIW I didn't see Lois's post as malicious, she was just letting off steam about someone's ridiculous behaviour. I'm sure she gave him a professional service and quite clearly she sent him away with a smile as he wants to see her again.

Good point. I agree with you Amelia, all professions moan about some of their clients etc... but sometimes I read posts  that cross the line between normal bantering/steam venting and women offering services they are clearly not happy with, or finding their job too physically and emotionally exhausting, women who are not cut to do this, or who think they are much better than punters. IMO "what you reap is what you sow". My point is: you have a business and you treat your clients with respect, that's what you get (of course there are assholes and exceptions), But you treat them with no respect and that's what you get: disrespect. And this  principle -in general- applies to any business. And "hey-ho!" we are all conducting a business most of the women on this forum.
« Last Edit: 23 December 2015, 08:25:47 pm by Ana30 »
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

amy

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #65 on: 23 December 2015, 07:52:31 pm »
What I feel like some of you are saying is "why is she complaining ALL she had to do was tell him how great he is" She's getting paid hundreds to do it
I can understand that it might be easier to spend two hours just inflating someones ego. It might be preferable to being pounded but what everyone enjoys/ is willing to endure/finds annoying is different.
Well I'm categorically not one of the people who think it would have been easy money and I would have found a booking like that excruciating - I can't act, I'm an appalling liar almost to the extent that I can't even try to do it and thus I'm one of the people who would much rather have two hours of solid mindless shagging. Fortunately, both we and punters are a diverse lot :).

It's the tone of the post that I found objectionable and Ana has summed it up above better than I can. To say that it did not poke fun at or insult the bloke is just not true; I'm sure the people here who have had cruel things written about them online would agree that stuff like

you're fucking ugly, you're far too spotty for a dude in his late 40's, your cock looks like a toadstool and you're a right wimp physically
his pathetic non-stamina penis!
Deluded fool - incidentally it's needledick x stamina dreamer....Little do these chaps know they all have nicknames

when aimed specifically at an individual who would almost certainly recognise himself were he to see it are hurtful and unnecessary. The fact that he's hopefully unlikely to see it himself is neither here or there - just as anybody here can post freely within the forum rules when they want to have a rant, others can find the contents of those posts distasteful and post equally freely to state they do.

There are multiple posts on this forum about clients being crap in bed, boring in bed, ugly, annoying, deluded, smelly, ridiculous etc. Not sure why this particular post by the op has been analysed to pieces...

I agree to be honest, but I suspect the main reason is that rather than just add a post to an existing thread such as this one, the OP deliberately started a new one with a very long and florid post which would really have been more appropriate as a blog, and then was unhappy when not everybody wanted to join in the fun. Of course there are other posts complaining about punters here, but they're normally made because a punter has been unpleasant or otherwise transgressed in some way, or at least because the person posting is genuinely upset.

I do think the discussion has moved along nicely though, and we've had some interesting posts. If nothing else it's made me grateful that bar the occasional numpty I have such nice clients, and the fact that I like, respect and value them is possibly why I found somebody saying the polar opposite shocking.

Nova

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #66 on: 23 December 2015, 08:06:43 pm »
I meant Mac the makeup counter  ;D

What I feel like some of you are saying is "why is she complaining ALL she had to do was tell him how great he is" She's getting paid hundreds to do it

I can understand that it might be easier to spend two hours just inflating someones ego. It might be preferable to being pounded but what everyone enjoys/ is willing to endure/finds annoying is different.

What is trivial to one person might be a deal breaker/ big deal to another. What you think is easy and someone shouldn't be "complaining" about because they are getting paid xyz amount is not the same view others can share.   

If a 2000 pound an hour escort stopped by and complained about her day does that mean her complaints are any less valid because she gets paid thousands?? We all need a vent sometimes and again it was his approach to her that she was complaining about, she wasn't randomly making fun of his dick size/his stamina.

I mean we all get guys who say "i HAVE 8 inches I'm going to give it to you good" and they arrive with a mciropenis and last 5 minutes. Am I going to get torn apart for having a little vent about how annoying it was to constantly tell him how big he was?? like really?


And like sammy said above this forum is littered with people poking fun at clients. Not maliciously may I add, not in the sexist derogatory way as if we are somehow better than everybody else. Just like omg look what I had to deal with today. How funny/weird annoying!

Yes, but...  the original post did feel to me to be malicious and derogatory, particularly the quotes that Amy has pulled out above. I think that's why it has been so divisive.

ameliahoney

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #67 on: 23 December 2015, 08:16:58 pm »
I'm not sure how to quote parts of posts but I agree with Amy that this has been an interesting discussion. It has certainly given me food for thought :)

KittenCandy

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #68 on: 23 December 2015, 09:57:35 pm »
Quote
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

True. But that's no reason to slag punters or people who pay for sex. If a WG doesn't want others slagging her for having sex in exchange for money she should start by not slagging those who pay for sex.

That is unless she's sitting on some high horse thinking she's so much better than Joe the plumber because he's paying her for a blow-job...

Agreed. But there is a difference between slagging someone off for paying for sex and slagging someone off for being full of themself. Isn't it?

KittenCandy

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #69 on: 23 December 2015, 10:04:11 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Wait but didn't she big him up? Not like she told him he has an ugly ass to his face. It's similar to when some of us fake orgasms, the client feels good thinking he is pleasing us but in our minds we are thinking of our shopping.

KittenCandy

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #70 on: 23 December 2015, 10:11:21 pm »
Mature Helen said:
Quote
Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

Agree. But... offering a service that you literally hate, so you can "splash it on Debenhams" and then coming to the forum and slagging off the poor guy who payed you is not going to bring you much sympathy from the public... My point is: you imagine a surgeon saying in public: "I hate operating on people, but I was thinking on the new porsche I was going to buy while I was doing a face-list to this stupid rich cow lying on my operating table. Poor deluded woman is just another old hag who wants to look 40 years younger. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of the operating room.I'm completely emotionally exhausted now because of it and need to rant and rave."

I would think you need to get another job.
Spot on. If they were on the receiving end of it I am sure their opinion would be different.
Pretty sure a lot of escorts have been on the receiving end. Being slagged off without mercy by punters. What the op wrote wasn't even an attack but escorts get slagged off in the worse way. By the men that pay, the men that don't, by women and society in general .

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #71 on: 23 December 2015, 10:15:12 pm »
Quote
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

True. But that's no reason to slag punters or people who pay for sex. If a WG doesn't want others slagging her for having sex in exchange for money she should start by not slagging those who pay for sex.

That is unless she's sitting on some high horse thinking she's so much better than Joe the plumber because he's paying her for a blow-job...

Agreed. But there is a difference between slagging someone off for paying for sex and slagging someone off for being full of themself. Isn't it?

The above quote is a bit taken out of context. I believe I was "generalizing"  about women slagging punters for paying, not so much referring to the OP (although her tone had a bit of that).

So you got a guy paying you 200 pounds an hour for being "full of himself". Don't like it?  Go and pull expresso for 8 pounds an hour or get another job. I think 200 pounds for listening a guy who is full of himself isn't that bad. There's a lot of people who have to put up with that for free at work. ;)
« Last Edit: 23 December 2015, 11:05:22 pm by Ana30 »
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mature helen

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #72 on: 23 December 2015, 10:42:56 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Wait but didn't she big him up? Not like she told him he has an ugly ass to his face. It's similar to when some of us fake orgasms, the client feels good thinking he is pleasing us but in our minds we are thinking of our shopping.
How is your faked orgasm similar to the OP's post?
Its not what she said to his face its how she handled it afterwards by coming on SAAFe to have a "rant" by physically deriding him (in detail) for things he couldn't help. What the OP did was no better than what punters do on the "forum that shall not be named" when they tear WG's apart for the fun of it it because she had a bit of a belly or shes not as pretty as her photos and a 101 other reasons it all leaves a bad taste.

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #73 on: 23 December 2015, 11:01:04 pm »
Jessica 201 said:
Quote
"...but escorts get slagged off in the worse way. By the men that pay, the men that don't, by women and society in general ..."

True. But I have very  nice clients who pay me well, treat me with utter respect and I have nothing bad to say about them (ok I'll always get a bad apple every now and them), so it would be very hypocrite of me to sit here slagging  punters left and right because that's not my experience. I used to get treated in a much more dehumanizing way when I worked in an office.

As far as people who slag me for being a sex worker?  They don't pay my bills, so they  can go and f---k themselves (excuse my French).
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

Nova

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #74 on: 23 December 2015, 11:08:03 pm »

Pretty sure a lot of escorts have been on the receiving end. Being slagged off without mercy by punters. What the op wrote wasn't even an attack but escorts get slagged off in the worse way. By the men that pay, the men that don't, by women and society in general .

Exactly why we should know how awful it is to be derided and why we shouldn't stoop so low ourselves.