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Author Topic: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically  (Read 22096 times)

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #45 on: 23 December 2015, 12:02:05 pm »
Quote
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

True. But that's no reason to slag punters or people who pay for sex. If a WG doesn't want others slagging her for having sex in exchange for money she should start by not slagging those who pay for sex.

That is unless she's sitting on some high horse thinking she's so much better than Joe the plumber because he's paying her for a blow-job...
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

BlaqHarlot

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #46 on: 23 December 2015, 12:07:18 pm »
Quote
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

True. But that's no reason to slag punters or people who pay for sex. If a WG doesn't want others slagging her for having sex in exchange for money she should start by not slagging those who pay for sex.

That is unless she's sitting on some high horse thinking she's so much better than Joe the plumber because he's paying her for a blow-job...
Completely agree!!!!

They are just normal people paying for a hobby/release to get away from the real world. I wonder how those would feel if their hairdresser or their nail technician slagged them off in a similar way?

I treat my punters just as I like to be treated and don't consider myself any better or worse than any of them who book me. X

amy

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #47 on: 23 December 2015, 12:20:21 pm »
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

Well as a former shop worker (and also a barmaid, which means you get the same people abusing, annoying and patronising you, only they're drunk) I'm sure that's true of some! :)

Having comprehensive experience of both jobs, I also know that having to put up with a couple of hours of boring crap for ?200 is far preferable to enduring eight or ten hours of soul destroying crap you can't do anything about for forty or fifty quid, because I've done it. I suspect a fair few of those who think they'd never do a booking only do because of preconceived ideas about what prostitution and punters are like rather than because it's so much worse.

Shewolf

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #48 on: 23 December 2015, 12:45:42 pm »
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

Well as a former shop worker (and also a barmaid, which means you get the same people abusing, annoying and patronising you, only they're drunk) I'm sure that's true of some! :)

Having comprehensive experience of both jobs, I also know that having to put up with a couple of hours of boring crap for ?200 is far preferable to enduring eight or ten hours of soul destroying crap you can't do anything about for forty or fifty quid, because I've done it. I suspect a fair few of those who think they'd never do a booking only do because of preconceived ideas about what prostitution and punters are like rather than because it's so much worse.

I see both sides. Yes, I would rather do the booking than work ten hours like a donkey but at the same time, most of my experiences so far have been ones I would like to blot out of my memory forever due to the fact I have to force myself mentally every time to do something where, yes, I know deep down I am indeed putting myself in an extremely vulnerable position.

I would rather do a booking now than work in a shop because making a lot of money in a short space of time (however traumatic that period is) is a mind altering experience and I don't see how one can reverse this process once they begin. 



 

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #49 on: 23 December 2015, 01:21:39 pm »
Ah but you are speaking from the perspective of an experienced escort who is used to getting intimate with different men and often complete strangers with any type of agenda (so becoming somewhat de-sensitised). You may actually find that a lot of shop workers wouldn't do a booking for triple that amount.

Well as a former shop worker (and also a barmaid, which means you get the same people abusing, annoying and patronising you, only they're drunk) I'm sure that's true of some! :)

Having comprehensive experience of both jobs, I also know that having to put up with a couple of hours of boring crap for ?200 is far preferable to enduring eight or ten hours of soul destroying crap you can't do anything about for forty or fifty quid, because I've done it. I suspect a fair few of those who think they'd never do a booking only do because of preconceived ideas about what prostitution and punters are like rather than because it's so much worse.

I see both sides. Yes, I would rather do the booking than work ten hours like a donkey but at the same time, most of my experiences so far have been ones I would like to blot out of my memory forever due to the fact I have to force myself mentally every time to do something where, yes, I know deep down I am indeed putting myself in an extremely vulnerable position.

I would rather do a booking now than work in a shop because making a lot of money in a short space of time (however traumatic that period is) is a mind altering experience and I don't see how one can reverse this process once they begin.

I don't quite agree shewolf. I've also done my fare share of office jobs, sales assistant positions etc... and I would much rather do sex work. Not only I find it more "fun" but also financially rewarding. I wouldn't call sex work "traumatic" (at least hasn't been my experience, a bit more like "challenging").  Of course I will have my odd "bad session" every now and them (who doesn't?) but I also endured traumatic experiences working an office job (from sexual harassment, to having to leave twice a burning building, to being humilliated by a boss etc...) And all for 10 pounds the hour. The more money you make an hour (and 250 is quite a lot) the more challenging the job. I personally know of NHS nurses, CEO's etc.. who are much more burned out than me. I also know of a teacher who suffered from mobbing at her job and she had to leave it and is currently on therapy and medication, so it's not all rosey on the job market.
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

Kay

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #50 on: 23 December 2015, 02:11:48 pm »
I'd agree with Ana - but also point out that we all have free choice. If you're in a position where you hate sex work, loathe being touched by clients, view them as arseholes or subhumans etc., then it's time to take a break at the very least, or look for another line of work. Or if nothing else, change your screening procedures to increase the chance of getting along with them.

I genuinely can count in single figures the amount of truly unpleasant/bookings clients I've had. That's partly because I'm a low-volume escort, but partly because I want to enjoy the job - while I need to keep a roof over my head, that's more important to me then making shedloads of cash. I actually earned a LOT more in my old office job, but had to deal with a lot of shite and at least a 2.5h commute every day. Escorting gives me a lot of freedom and independence in other ways.

Just my opinion, but anyone who finds sex work (or any other job) traumatic shouldn't be doing it.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

mature helen

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #51 on: 23 December 2015, 02:51:07 pm »
I'd agree with Ana - but also point out that we all have free choice. If you're in a position where you hate sex work, loathe being touched by clients, view them as arseholes or subhumans etc., then it's time to take a break at the very least, or look for another line of work. Or if nothing else, change your screening procedures to increase the chance of getting along with them.

I genuinely can count in single figures the amount of truly unpleasant/bookings clients I've had. That's partly because I'm a low-volume escort, but partly because I want to enjoy the job - while I need to keep a roof over my head, that's more important to me then making shedloads of cash. I actually earned a LOT more in my old office job, but had to deal with a lot of shite and at least a 2.5h commute every day. Escorting gives me a lot of freedom and independence in other ways.

Just my opinion, but anyone who finds sex work (or any other job) traumatic shouldn't be doing it.
Totally agree with you Kay I work from home and I have exactly the same ethos.

politics999

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #52 on: 23 December 2015, 04:10:07 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)





mature helen

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #53 on: 23 December 2015, 05:28:20 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Mirror

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #54 on: 23 December 2015, 05:39:47 pm »
I don't think the amount of cash paid is directly relevant, it does however put things into perspective.

Yes it can be tiring and annoying when someone needs a constant confidence boost, I'd probably actually tell him that I found it difficult to be with him if he needed me to say things to make him feel better, but that's me.

I am uncomfortable with calling clients names, sure I have "Mr such and such" but it's not a direct dig at something physical, unless it's Mr Smelly Armpits because he was asked to wash, but still had smelly armpits after washing. Needle dick is making fun of his small willy, which he can do nothing about.

I don't think that any of my clients are lower than me, or sad or needledicks or anything else and there are posts on the forum which do go along those lines. So long as someone is fine with me, I'm ok with them, they are human beings just as I am.

I have not had any experience I wish to blot out, so my experience is obviously quite different to some people here. Sure I've had some very difficult clients, but I've learned something from each one. I do not have a problem with giving a sexual service, or my time to clients who are absolutely fine with me. Sure some are more difficult than others, but I tend to negotiate around it.

Like Amy I had a variety of jobs before I engaged in sex work, and the bad days feel just the same no matter what the job or the pay. With this work I am my own motivator, and being in control, earning a good wage tends to outweigh those bad days. I do after all have some control over who I see, and how the booking goes.

ana30

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #55 on: 23 December 2015, 05:39:57 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Helen, problem is that when you get a 2 hour booking with a new client he won't warn you over the phone: "hi, I'm overwhelmed with problems and feel like a bit insecure at the present time, I'm not really interested in sex, can you inflate my ego for 2 hours?"

 ;D
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

Mirror

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #56 on: 23 December 2015, 05:40:51 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Helen, problem is that when you get a 2 hour booking with a new client he won't warn you over the phone: "hi, I'm overwhelmed with problems and feel like a bit insecure at the present time, I'm not really interested in sex, can you inflate my ego for 2 hours?"

 ;D


Correct, it is a lottery and can be difficult if not prepared!

sammy s

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #57 on: 23 December 2015, 06:02:24 pm »
There are multiple posts on this forum about clients being crap in bed, boring in bed, ugly, annoying, deluded, smelly, ridiculous etc. Not sure why this particular post by the op has been analysed to pieces...

mature helen

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #58 on: 23 December 2015, 06:36:48 pm »
I dont think Lois was trying to slag him off for having a small penis/no stamina or a spotty arse. I'm sure that is not the first time she has come across these things!

She wasn't even poking fun per say at him for having those things. She was just talking about how clients who need constant validation (ego stroking) are hard work. Which is true. She was also talking about the way he approached her.
She presented it in a really humorous way. Poor him for needing his ego stroking but  it was just a funny anecdote and not something to be telling her she isn't a good escort/ whatever over.


I mean if I went up to the Mac counter and said omg my skin is so great, look at it, everyone says I have the best skin  (when in fact my skin is shite) I think the girl at the mac counter is going to stroke my ego at that moment then go home and tell everyone the bemused tale of how the girl with shite skin insisted she had the best skin ever. Not because of how shite my skin is (which i'm sure she see every day) but because of the way I approached her.

I mean he could have just said, do you think I have a nice arse (and she would have said yes) but instead he said "I have a great arse!!! tell me how great it is" (to that effect)
But the client was paying quite a lot of cash to be bigged up, the server at MacDonald's has no financial incentive to she is paid to take your order not stroke your ego. Sometimes we escorts are more like therapists than sex godesses. It boils down to preference I would love 2 hours full pay to inflate his ego, it wouldn't bother me in fact I would enjoy it and if it made him feel better about himself then its all good. Some escorts can take 2 hours of pounding but that would be my worst nightmare so not a booking I would accept for any amount of cash. If the OP didn't enjoy this session she could have told him its not a service she is happy to provide and send him on his way...no problem.

Helen, problem is that when you get a 2 hour booking with a new client he won't warn you over the phone: "hi, I'm overwhelmed with problems and feel like a bit insecure at the present time, I'm not really interested in sex, can you inflate my ego for 2 hours?"

 ;D

Very true. But there's always the option for the OP to cut the session short if its not a service she is happy to perform.
IMO escorting shouldn't be mentally, physically or emotionally exhausting.

politics999

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Re: Insecure client - more emotionally exhausting than physically
« Reply #59 on: 23 December 2015, 06:57:30 pm »
I meant Mac the makeup counter  ;D

What I feel like some of you are saying is "why is she complaining ALL she had to do was tell him how great he is" She's getting paid hundreds to do it

I can understand that it might be easier to spend two hours just inflating someones ego. It might be preferable to being pounded but what everyone enjoys/ is willing to endure/finds annoying is different.

What is trivial to one person might be a deal breaker/ big deal to another. What you think is easy and someone shouldn't be "complaining" about because they are getting paid xyz amount is not the same view others can share.   

If a 2000 pound an hour escort stopped by and complained about her day does that mean her complaints are any less valid because she gets paid thousands?? We all need a vent sometimes and again it was his approach to her that she was complaining about, she wasn't randomly making fun of his dick size/his stamina.

I mean we all get guys who say "i HAVE 8 inches I'm going to give it to you good" and they arrive with a mciropenis and last 5 minutes. Am I going to get torn apart for having a little vent about how annoying it was to constantly tell him how big he was?? like really?


And like sammy said above this forum is littered with people poking fun at clients. Not maliciously may I add, not in the sexist derogatory way as if we are somehow better than everybody else. Just like omg look what I had to deal with today. How funny/weird annoying!