Hey girls,

Well, I had a two hour booking with a new client this afternoon. The booking was originally for an hour, but then he messaged me and said due to his sexual appetite and stamina (haaaaaaaaaaaaaa) could he book for two hours.

Ok, when he arrived, his was some little whipper snapper of a bloke; about 5 ft 5 and about 7 stone wringing wet with all his clothes on (I'm nearly 6ft with my heels  ). Not my favourite physicality, but hey, I'm not dating him (phew!). Soooo, we ended up chatting for half an hour or so, predominantly about him - told me he was a genuine guy, married, 3 kids, yadda yadda. Listened intently, pretending to be interested etc. After a little while the conversation turned to his antics at the gym; free weights (he mimed the actions of lifting a kettle bell over his head), circuit sprints (yep, ran on the spot), rowing machine (he done that too)... I was howling inside thinking 'what the hell am I witnessing here) - then fuck me, out come the star jumps 

The blather I got was basically because of his religion, he lived a very healthy good life, used to be a porker, was very unconfident, never does anything he shouldn't (aside from see hookers I wanted to add, but refrained), but he had tremendous sexual prowess and had an animal inside him that he couldn't control. He used the word stamina 5 times in less than ten minutes. I asked him to shower as he had asked prior to confirming booking if this was ok. Off came the clothes, while I watched (un)appreciately. He bent over, and said he had been told he had a 'cracking arse'.... an arse crack with a few moles and boils on it yes, but cracking no.... eugh!!

Pretty average tool, but nothing I was relishing in entertaining for the following 90 mins, but hey ho, I'd already spent the fee mentally at Debenhams. The remaining time consisted of chatting shit about his insecurity about his looks, do I think he is fit, is he handsome blah blah - yes, of course darling (No you're fucking ugly, you're far too spotty for a dude in his late 40's, your cock looks like a toadstool and you're a right wimp physically). 

Gave orders about deep throating - yeah deep throat me you dirty bitch (ahem)... without being a cow about it, it never even reached near the back of my throat, but he was enjoying himself a lot more than me, but he oblivious. This foreplay pantomime carried on for about an hour because every few minutes he said 'stop, stop' and then wanted kissing (yuk) then back to the DT. I was mentally in the pub getting wankered on wine (where I'll be tomorrow  ). Never touched me down below with his hands, only his pathetic non-stamina penis!

I knew he wanted a shower after, which left about 15 minutes for him to get his rocks off, so I casually remarked about the time flying. Then he said right I'm going to fuck ya - what are your three favourite positions? WTF??? Three? (joker) I again reminded him we had only about 15 mins of the booking left, so he then gave military orders about doggy - arse in air, but when told, I was to lie my belly flat on the bed and close my legs (could have crushed the poor bloke)... he came pretty much immediately (yawwwwnnnn).

Then in the shower wanted me to sit on the loo seat and again chat shit to feed his inflated ego. Prior to leaving he said, save me in your phone as x won't you and put something next to my name to remember me... what will you put x stamina or something like that so when I text you you'll know it's me? Deluded fool - incidentally it's needledick x stamina dreamer....Little do these chaps know they all have nicknames 

My point in waffling on here is that it's so fucking exhausting having a guy who wants an ego massage - why can't they just exchange a bit of polite chat, do the deed (so to speak) and fuck off without the need to be told how wonderful (not), handsome (not), big (definitely not), good in bed (pffff, don't make me laugh) they are. I'm absolutely mentally exhausted....he's got right on my tits, but not in any way that I like it 

Well it's a shot in the dark, but maybe he has low self esteen and little confidence and just wanted somebody to hopefully make him feel a bit better?

Even if he went about it in an inappropriate and clumsy way (and obviously picked the wrong person just as I would have been; I can't do the fake chat and would have told him he was making me uncomfortable and putting me on the spot so it might be best to cut it short), the poor sod's paying a lot of money for it after all, and I always think bookings like this are balanced out by the piece-of-piss ones where everybody clicks and the time flies by - they can't all be like that.

If I'd started feeling like this about punters regularly I'd be pretty sure I needed a break. I had an excruciating one one afternoon last week (which makes three this year, if memory serves) and I think you need to put it out of your head as fast as you can or you'll just stew until it drives you nuts. Getting another booking in as fast as possible (within the hour for me) helps, I find .

Yeah, I think it's easy to assume that the physically demanding ones are harder work and as far as I'm concerned nothing could be further from the truth. But equally I think mocking, much less annihilating some random for nothing more than being a bit of a pillock is a little cruel, even if it's just to have a vent .

The punter I was talking about last week ignored my directions to the landmark and instead called me from another street (where he'd decided my flat was) and then got nippy when I told him he was in the wrong place, turned up with stinking armpits, tried to rub me raw with his fingers and sharp nails until after twice telling him to be gentle and being ignored (as well as wincing in pain) I made him stop and repeatedly asked me rude, intrusive personal questions about my private life, my family and what my legal (or as he put it 'real') name was. Like yours there was very little actual shagging but it was horrendous and I'd still be shuddering now had I not had a nice regular come by just as I was about to go home. How he got past my screening will have to remain a mystery .

Yours just sounds like a bloke who needed some bigging up. He's probably section manager of Pic and Mix at Wilko, or something .

My point was that my client behaved badly, and from what I read in your post yours did not. There's a difference between pointing this out and saying how unpleasant and uncomfortable you felt and laughing at them.

My second point was that your bloke might have a crap and dull day to day life and want to pretend he's James Bond for a couple of hours without any idea that you might not enjoy it quite as much as he was. Mine deliberately tried to cause me annoyance, physical pain and also general stress and irritation by ignoring my instructions, which as far as I'm concerned is much worse and is why I felt a bit sorry for the first one .

Wow sounds like you caught a bad one today Lois xxx Clearly in his world he was a super hero... lol its a lot easier to be subjunctive when it's not happening to you isn't it? I had an awful, awful one the other day too, luckily I have other escorts who are friends who basically took the 'P' about my 'luck' and it made me feel so much better! Keep focusing on Debenhams and YAY the sale has already started !!! xxx

Amy Im afraid you've completely lost me? I red Lois's post and commented on it? I have no interest in what anybody said or meant, I just wrote my reaction to her situation....

I think Lois's main point was how mentally draining it was or have I missed the whole point?

I personally would have cut the booking to one hour if I was not enjoying someone's company that much.

Lois, your post made good reading though. You should be a comedian or write a book lol.

xx

Starjumps Lol!
You have a way with your words Lois, Just brilliant