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Author Topic: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson  (Read 3226 times)

LaraKae

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I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« on: 05 October 2016, 06:51:56 pm »
I have always been submissive and consensual non consent has always been a bit of a wild fantasy of mine (think of it what you will!)

So when a client asked for a forced sex roleplay I was like ok, I am up for discussing and if I feel comfortable with your suggestions I will book

He was very reasonable as were his requests, and he emailed me a photo of his driving licence, we arranged it close to my home so I knew my surroundings well, and he booked

I've just had a weird feeling about it ever since, and although the guy seems like he has the best intentions, I just felt I should trust my gut. Forced sex roleplay is intense, and extreme, and I think I would have to really really trust someone to go there. I think I forgot that it's not just a shag, it's a stranger with a fucked up fantasy, I have no idea who he is, what he is capable of etc.

And now I feel like a twat. It's bad etiquette to cancel right? and I started wondering if maybe I am a wimp, maybe I should do it anyway..

And then I realised no, I should only do what I feel comfortable doing. Fuck it. Fuck the bad feedback if it comes, my safety comes first.

And the lesson I learnt is think long and hard before agreeing to something you haven't done before. Are you REALLY comfortable with it? Do you need time to think? If so take it.. I shouldn't have agreed until I was sure

I am so so fresh to all of this, every day is a steep learning curve, but I would rather learn this way than following through with the booking and learning by being a victim.

Sometimes I wish I didn't hate GFE would make it all easier!!
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Lucie268

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #1 on: 05 October 2016, 06:59:08 pm »
I'm submissive in my private life but I'd never trust a client enough to do it with them (no judgment for those that do though). I don't think it's good to base what you do in sex work around your own fantasies, because clients aren't the ones you want to explore them with. This is one of the reasons why I hate it when clients ask what you enjoy.  ::)
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Umrao

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #2 on: 05 October 2016, 07:13:18 pm »
You've made the right decision by going with your gut feeling. Non consensual or extreme sexual fantasies are something I'm into in my personal life, the problem is I can never find someone who knows me well enough and is on a similar wave length to indulge. Most people would think my private sexual preference is off the Richter scale and it would send most men running.

Sometimes during work I indulge in a little humiliation and have to reign myself in because I can sense with just the right choice words how a mild mannered gentle client can manifest into a forceful beast.

Safety is paramount and your gut instinct is the first security you should always trust!
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Kay

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #3 on: 05 October 2016, 07:35:24 pm »
I'd say never agree to anything potentially dangerous/extreme with a new client - have a fairly standard booking first and see how you get on. There has to be a level of trust there for more full-on stuff.

Yes, it's bad to cancel at short notice, but you live and learn.
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"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

LaraKae

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #4 on: 05 October 2016, 08:38:05 pm »
Yep thank you girls, I think I have definitely made the right decision and will have a rethink on what level I am willing to reach with clients!

As for keeping my personal preferences out of it.. but I am such a good little sub lol!

For me when people ask for stuff I wouldn't normally choose I see it as an acting job.. When it's something I enjoy it's a bonus. But I will certainly not be indulging any risky fantasies any time soon, seriously what was I thinking?!

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ladyinred

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #5 on: 05 October 2016, 08:56:29 pm »
I'm not submissive, and a client who saw me for a year for GFE stopped seeing me for a year... and then he booked me from different number and attacked me at my front door... Luckily I wasn't on my own. So.. this shows you can't trust a client, they are customers at the end of the day, not friends who care about us....
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LaraKae

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #6 on: 05 October 2016, 09:05:41 pm »
Duly noted!

Obviously I err on the edge of caution but my radar for baddies is pretty spot on, which is why I decided to trust my instinct,

I think my excitement about it clearly skewed my sanity for a moment there, lesson learnt!!
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ameliahoney

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #7 on: 05 October 2016, 09:20:45 pm »
Echo what everyone else has said, especially as this would have been the first time you'd met this client. If you'd seen him a few times before for a straightforward 'vanilla' meet it may have been easier to make a better informed judgement. Well done for trusting your gut anyway!
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colette

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #8 on: 06 October 2016, 09:48:03 am »
I also trust always my gut feeling : I consider it the best tool in this profession , the only one we should never part from ...

Good Luck for the future , Lara : it will be bright , if you keep applying the same attitudes you are showing now !

 :-* :-* :-*
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TrashAzn

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #9 on: 06 October 2016, 12:18:25 pm »
Your gut is your first line of defence against a bad booking if something feels wrong you should always listen to it, if you aren't comfortable you have a right to cancel a booking, as for the kind of things he was interested in I agree with others that if you want to do that with a client they should be a long time regular and even then it's risky when you give them that much power over a situation you'd have to trust them very well.

I usually just save the most extreme sub play for my boyfriend because I know he isn't going to hurt me or go beyond agreed limits because he wanted to "test them".
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Aqua Allegoria

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #10 on: 06 October 2016, 05:04:52 pm »
You did exactly what you should have done.
When I started I was very upset and not ready to cancel bookings. Always thinking what if they leave me bad feedback. What if they wrote something nasty somewhere. What if they say I'm a bad escort.

I'm not submissive and somehow I don't attract clients who enjoy being very dominant. In my private life however yes I do love to just get my brains f*** out properly from time to time lol. Feels good. I'd never do it with a client though, not even a regular. I just think the moment you expose yourself you take unnecessary risk and in our case it's dangerous. I enjoy sex with them just enough to keep my head cool and stay on guard.
The fact that the guy showed you his driver's license means nothing. If he hurt you or worse, would you care about a piece of ID? You'd be hurt anyway.
So yes you made the right choice xxx
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LaraKae

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #11 on: 06 October 2016, 07:24:49 pm »
Thank you all, you're right I am concerned to cancel, I am just starting out I don't want or need bad feedback. He's been really understanding which is great
I never really considered the vulnerability of submitting with a stranger, in my private life it has always made me feel safe and secure, when the other person is control the pressure is off and I can just enjoy the ride
But it feels like the opposite here, seems obvious now that in this situation I should be the one with the control


Anyway seems I have had a bad week, client today turned up on the dot EMPTY FUCKING HANDED
And asked if I would drive with him to the cashpoint
I said flat out no, he asked if I had a phobia of cars, I said no it's a safety procedure if you can't pay I am cancelling
He said he's not jack the ripper (good to know thanks!) and that I should've told him there wasn't a cashpoint where we met

I just told him that isn't how it works you knew who you were coming to meet and what my fees are sorry!

I got a tyrade of abuse over text after I left calling me a fucking bitch and that apparently he had lost nothing and I had lost money

If he thinks I am gonna cry myself to sleep over an hrs booking he is grossly mistaken!



Can only get better from here right?!!  :FF
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BibiofLeeds

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #12 on: 06 October 2016, 08:05:13 pm »
The last bloke you described sounds like he merits a warning in the warnings section on here.
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LaraKae

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #13 on: 06 October 2016, 08:13:05 pm »
Yes, I suppose he does, I'll put some more details together

I was surprised as he had a good handful of good ratings, described as a 'gentleman'

Goes to show you really can't trust anything!
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LadyOfTheNight

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Re: I had to cancel a client for the first time.. and it taught me a lesson
« Reply #14 on: 06 October 2016, 08:23:22 pm »
Quote from: LaraKae on 06 October 2016, 08:13:05 pm
Yes, I suppose he does, I'll put some more details together

I was surprised as he had a good handful of good ratings, described as a 'gentleman'

Goes to show you really can't trust anything!

Very true I recently had to write a warning about a guy who had, like your chap loads of FB saying what a gentleman he was  ::)
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