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Author Topic: How to put clients off...world championship  (Read 25219 times)

lady69

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #30 on: 23 September 2016, 05:03:16 pm »
Him: Are you free?

Me: No  I am ?X amount an hour.  ;D

cheeky bugger

"The only things in this life that you really regret are the RISKS you didn't take"

Emma_C

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #31 on: 24 September 2016, 12:52:33 pm »
Him: Where you based in [city]
Me: I'm nearby [the location of one of the city's football clubs]
Him: What, at the [club] football ground?
Me: Yeah, I'm sat in the goalmouth with my legs open.

 ;D that will having me laughing all afternoon. Brilliant!

Text "you available today" no I'm in bed with a hangover.

I actually had an email from a guy asking if I'm free of HIV & STDS etc he's just called me but got my voicemail so I'll have to come up with a sarcastic response if he calls back..
« Last Edit: 24 September 2016, 01:00:12 pm by Chatterly »

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #32 on: 24 September 2016, 02:20:57 pm »
Him: Are you available now?
Me: I could see you in an hour.
Him: So you can't see me right now?
Me: I'm on the bus. So not unless you're on the number 7 bus that's just going past Lidl, no.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

BibiofLeeds

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #33 on: 24 September 2016, 03:23:03 pm »
I work in a modern apartment with such amazing mod cons as a lift!
This was a bloke who despite being given clear instructions as to how to get in to my apartment block i.e keep walking in a straight line past the shop to the end turn right intercom is there press xxy and call took 20 mins to get his arse out his elbow.
He finally got in and was told to come up to the 3rd floor he then proceeded to ask me how he would get to the 3rd floor and should he use the lift!I finally lost it and said 'No come back out and then climb up onto the balcony like Spiderman!'
He did actually apologise for behaving like a complete dick when he finally made his way up 30 mins late.. :FF

Nugget

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #34 on: 25 September 2016, 11:40:46 am »
Client: Can I see you now?
Me: I can do 11
Client: How about 10?
Me: No. I said 11.
Client. I no... was jst tryin my luck
Me. No. You're pushing your luck. What you're trying is my patience.
*silence*


VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #35 on: 25 September 2016, 11:41:52 am »
He finally got in and was told to come up to the 3rd floor he then proceeded to ask me how he would get to the 3rd floor and should he use the lift!I finally lost it and said 'No come back out and then climb up onto the balcony like Spiderman!'

This is fucking hilarious  ;D
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

TrashAzn

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #36 on: 25 September 2016, 04:54:19 pm »
Client: Can I see you now?
Me: I can do 11
Client: How about 10?
Me: No. I said 11.
Client. I no... was jst tryin my luck
Me. No. You're pushing your luck. What you're trying is my patience.
*silence*

Hate when they don't seem to understand you give them a time for a reason, you might have a client in and need time between bookings to clean up and make yourself look good for them but for them only their hard on is important.

Ieaio

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #37 on: 27 September 2016, 05:58:02 pm »
client asked where I was based. Despite surely them searching me them in their area PLUS it being in the headline including the basic postcode PLUS the first line of my profile PLUS in my FAQs PLUS in the area AW allocates to where I am etc (so hardly can claim it was nestled and intricate to find)

Where are you?

I responded with please read my profile and get back to me because it's important you know wether we are matched in location/servies/prices etc well or not in order to make a booking'

He responded angrily so I responded:

'I've only read your profile for 0.4 seconds' - he exclaims demanding that he's in the right & should have his question answered respectfully despite not having enough respect to read her profile in order to read her FAQs or even headline to this very query. How very dare she expect someone to have basic reading & effort skills in order to beleive the man will bother to turn up to a booking.
« Last Edit: 27 September 2016, 05:59:41 pm by Ieaio »

BibiofLeeds

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #38 on: 27 September 2016, 06:22:58 pm »
Weird client who I won't be seeing again asks me on arrival if I'll be recording the session..
'Darling I can assure you I have much better things to do in my own time then watch your arse bouncing up and down on top of me!'
He looked almost disappointed!

Nia Hope

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #39 on: 27 September 2016, 07:14:58 pm »
Weird client who I won't be seeing again asks me on arrival if I'll be recording the session..
'Darling I can assure you I have much better things to do in my own time then watch your arse bouncing up and down on top of me!'
He looked almost disappointed!
Reminds of a client that was on his way out when he looked worried and said 'Can you delete my number, I don't want you contacting me out the blue' I said I really have better things to do than call clients I would have forgotten you in ten minutes.
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

Dynamite Doll

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #40 on: 27 September 2016, 10:09:20 pm »
client asked where I was based. Despite surely them searching me them in their area PLUS it being in the headline including the basic postcode PLUS the first line of my profile PLUS in my FAQs PLUS in the area AW allocates to where I am etc (so hardly can claim it was nestled and intricate to find)

Where are you?

I responded with please read my profile and get back to me because it's important you know wether we are matched in location/servies/prices etc well or not in order to make a booking'

He responded angrily so I responded:

'I've only read your profile for 0.4 seconds' - he exclaims demanding that he's in the right & should have his question answered respectfully despite not having enough respect to read her profile in order to read her FAQs or even headline to this very query. How very dare she expect someone to have basic reading & effort skills in order to beleive the man will bother to turn up to a booking.

Oh my goodness I had a similar call few moments ago, this was from a guy with an Australian accent.

HIM: Is this Jasmine
ME: Yes How can I help you
HIM: How much is your hourly rate
ME: All you need to know is on advert where you got my number from
HIM: Can you not tell me over the phone
ME: How you managed to scroll down and get my number do go back read from the top then call back if you wish to proceed in booking me.
HIM: There is no need to be aggressive you have to remember whats on your advert to tell us clients who are to book you. He then put the phone down ( I was baffled cos I was so polite but this idiot was throwing his toys out of his pram.)




BlaqHarlot

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #41 on: 27 September 2016, 10:44:22 pm »
These are two recent ones... Sometimes I'm in one of those moods where I decide to be a little shit and entertain these idiots lol!

Client; Can I come to you now for booking.
Me; Unless you're paying triple my rate for me to work on my day off then no.
Client; How much will that be happy to pay triple knowing you haven't had a load of cocks up you today
Me; Actually I've just come back from a bukkake party and I'm all cocked out, but you can book me if you like :)
.... Silence :D :D

Another one...
Client; What's your address? Want an hour
Me; it's number 45 read my god damn profile I don't do Incalls street...
Client; Oh sorry

LOL  ;D ;D

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #42 on: 28 September 2016, 08:37:13 pm »
When you're 90 mins into a 2hr booking and your cat decides to make an unscheduled appearance on the bed. Like literally ON THE BED.

Him: WTF?
Me: I'm so sorry, it's my cat, she's a pain. Fuck off cat!
Cat: [He's been here 90 mins so I'm gonna assume he's your boyfriend now. Gettin comfy.]

I really need a new work flat where the layout allows me to shut her out  :-[
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

LadyOfTheNight

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #43 on: 28 September 2016, 09:05:04 pm »
When you're 90 mins into a 2hr booking and your cat decides to make an unscheduled appearance on the bed. Like literally ON THE BED.

Him: WTF?
Me: I'm so sorry, it's my cat, she's a pain. Fuck off cat!
Cat: [He's been here 90 mins so I'm gonna assume he's your boyfriend now. Gettin comfy.]

I really need a new work flat where the layout allows me to shut her out  :-[

I badly needed cheering up, this made me chuckle.

Cat knows he's no.1 in your life really and wants his/her bed back  :)

lulu7

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Re: How to put clients off...world championship
« Reply #44 on: 28 September 2016, 10:39:31 pm »
I don't do videos it's even specified on a FAQ on my profile  ::)

Him: Great profile! I'm a photographer, just wondered if you'd be up for doing a naughty video together? oral without condom, facial ideally, that's all I need. Think it would be loads of fun! And then I would post it on my profile if thats OK. Let me know what you think xx


Me: I would rather kill myself :) /I would much rather gouge my own eyes out with forks.

Have a lovely day :) xxx


He was really annoyed and called me a bitch but in my defence he did ask me to let him know what I think.