Got this email this evening, I know this makes the rounds, just the first time I've had it and I just wanted to post my fiance's response to it because it was funny  

Hi Sweety,
I am 32 & a businessman. I have my own house. I live in London. You look beautiful. Well I dont have any Girlfriend. If you can become my GF & sex partner then I can give you a room to live in my house FREE ! I will give you a very pleasant bedroom with a nice view, very cosy for both of us to have fun & my house has all facilities including wifi, free phone calls, etc for you. Moreover you can earn a lot & have work outside during day & I have no problems for that. I save your money so you can think patiently before saying '' NO '' in a haste ! This is a serious offer from me & I am a genuine person. We can chat online & plan something seriously if you co-operate. You make my life easy & in return I make yours ! I have a very high sex drive for which I cannot pay cash everyday so I want some permanent FREE arrangement. Please dont ask me for coming in private - i dont wish to spend money. As I said above I give u everything FREE & in return u give me FREE. So you send me your Hotmail, Yahoo or Skype ID so we can chat & plan seriously. My Yahoo ID is:
Idiot@yahoo.com
I will wait for your reply soon. Thanks . . .

Let me compress this email for you:
"Looking for sex slave"
Let me compress my response for you:
"**** off, loser"
Kind Regards,
Alexa

Yeah, I'm in Scotland too. Maybe he's run out of people in London to bother with it.

I sincerely hope no one would move even an inch to become someones unpaid sex toy.

dont you hate it when what looks like a booking slowly and subtly turns into a timewaster...

Guy phones for booking... details given nooo problems great 

Hours later texts come in..

"forgot to ask earlier. does it matter how experienced I am?"

me "no of course not" hoping that's it..

new text "is a virgin bad"

 

Now I just know I will wake up tomorrow and he will have canceled.....

As soon as I hear that word "virgin" instant timewaster 

It might be because I advertise that I'm very happy to see inexperienced men, but I get quite a few of these, and luckily none of them have been TWs yet.

every single one i get are complete fantasists!

Maybe this one will prove me wrong... he at least gave me an address lol

I've had nothing but complete wankwags this morning texting me after waking up from a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong epic dream of seeing my ex girlfriends all over again. UGH> cranky 'ho!!!

fuckwit: How much is a quick handjob?

me: I charge for time, not item

fuckwit: how much is five minutes?

me: five minutes is fuck off.

Good one serves him right, idiot.