Mensa must be missing a member...

Him: How much for half hour? (note absence of introduction...always a promising start!)
Me: Sorry my minimum booking time is 1 hour, as I?ve clearly pointed out on my profile...
Him: But what if I only want to stay for a bit?
Me: You can stay for 10 minutes if you like, but you still need to pay me for the hour.
Him: Oh...(genius brain obviously going into overdrive).. Ok what if I wanted to book you for 30 minutes?
Me: Learn to tell the time 30 minutes is same as half an hour!!!
Me: *Click*

It just astounds me how these sort of guys manage to function in their daily lives....

That made me laugh. I fluffed yesterday when a client decided to try and wrap my legs around my neck and pump away (excuse the pun) I apologised but like you I was so embarrassed. I wanted to come on here and make a post about whether anyone had broke wind on a booking just to make myself feel better. I still cringe at the thought. He said it was alright but I couldn't get over what I had done. I keep chuckling about it to myself. I hope he doesn't come back

LOL, glad I've made you feel a bit better...mine weren't little fluffs...I probably could have coped with that. I'm wondering if he'll ever book me again now lol He's been a regular for about 18 months but think that might have put him off somewhat!
I felt like singing Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" lmao

Speaking of STDS... Had this one just now:

Hi

I am thinking about making my first visit to an escort (never done this before) and have seen your details on AW.
Before I make a booking I would like to know a few things...

I would class my self as a handsome chap in his early 30's and although married, I think the time has come to fulfill my sexual desire which outstrips the supply within marriage! The only thing that concerns me is the health and hygiene side of things. As I have not done this before I have some concerns around the topic of STI's - I do not want any (I am sure the feeling is mutual)!

Without being offensive I am looking for the reassurance that these worries can be put aside - whilst the activities conducted may be of a 'safe nature' not all things can be prevented such as the dreaded HERPES!

I hope you view this email as a chance to potentially meet a new, genuine client who is charming and wants the best out of life and hopefully doesn't put you off!

By the way I am available this week only!

Tim x

Still not quite sure what to make of this!

I've just had this exact same email from Tim, tut!

Quote from: Jan10 on 19 April 2012, 10:27:53 pm

That made me laugh. I fluffed yesterday when a client decided to try and wrap my legs around my neck and pump away (excuse the pun) I apologised but like you I was so embarrassed. I wanted to come on here and make a post about whether anyone had broke wind on a booking just to make myself feel better. I still cringe at the thought. He said it was alright but I couldn't get over what I had done. I keep chuckling about it to myself. I hope he doesn't come back

LOL, glad I've made you feel a bit better...mine weren't little fluffs...I probably could have coped with that. I'm wondering if he'll ever book me again now lol He's been a regular for about 18 months but think that might have put him off somewhat!
I felt like singing Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" lmao

Lol. He probably will come back, if breaking wind puts him off, god forbid. The thing is it is natural bodily functions we shouldn't need to try and hold it in but we do. and then if we can't we get so embarrassed.

Hi hun

I?ve been to the consultant (surgeon)and he has recommended me ?ligamentotomy? surgery to increase the size. The procedure will increase its size BUT BUT will make it VERY VERY thin. The mass from girth would be used to increase the size, therefore it would greatly decrease its thickness. According to the consultant, my cock will then not be more than the little finger and might have some erection issues as well.

I?ve told you this because if you can kindly give your opinion as to which form would be better, especially in regards to penetration, the penis in its shape as is now, OR a bit larger but a very thin penis? If you could kindly be specific about penetration, as I?m getting my cock extended solely for penetration so I like to know the pros and cons of cock being too small or too thin.
As being an escort and a women, you can personally tell as to which cock you prefer sex wise. So kindly if you could tell which cock will be better and why, and why other would not be so pleasurable, eg thin cock gives less feeling in vagina, small cock cannot penetrate etc, what ever your analysis., whatever pros and cons you think of.

Or you think this would not make any difference either way giving pleasure to a women

There are 2 pictures of my cock in my profile. The picture in which I hold my cock is of ERECT cock, if you wish to view them.

Much thanks and I really appreciate your help, as to then I can decide whether I should have an operation after considering which cock is more preferred. xxx

Adam... is at it again -

How not to book an escort,world championships!
How to book an escort,world championships!

In Tesco's just now.
Call from existing client, who tried to haggle on my prices - Fuck him.       He'll be back.
Next aisle, an attractive man starts a conversation:

• Nice man: Chat, chat, chat.... You had a phone call just now. Was that work?
• Jodie: Yep
• Nice man: What do you do?
• Jodie: What do you think I do?
• Nice man: Escort?
• Jodie: Yep
• Nice man: How much?
• Jodie: ?160. I'm trans, I have a penis. Is that what you want?
• {Not flustered but intrigued} Nice man: No
• Jodie: ok
• {Still not flustered} Nice man: Do you take it up the bum?
• Jodie: Yep
• {Looking very interested, he gets his mobile out} Nice man: May I take your number and call you later?
• Jodie: Passes him her business card and walks off with a grin

Gotta Hustle baby!

OMG Jodie!!!! Brings a whole new meaning to the thread "escorts in the supermarket"...(!)

Iv got an fantasy just wonder if ur able to do it babe, wel here goes lol:) wonderin if your able to fulfill my fantasy, well what I'm after is to be kidnapped by you from the streets or from your front door and then blindfolded and gag me in boot of your car before we go back to yours where you tie me up and torture me sexually. Or kidnap me from door and then tie me down before you tourment me sexually until finally given in. Hopefully can do the first one as its my personal favourite and wud love to try it with you hun, I think it'll go under casual escort service/femdom babe. Hope you can do so and hope to hear from you soon hun xxxx

Just received this. I've had it twice before.

My reply: oh, piss off.