hi email me yo wanna swap numbers


 

A save but only just.
I'm loathed to activate sms alerts coz of costs.
{% of messages vs number of people walking through my door}
Tricky.

What do you lot think?

I don't know if this would be a possibility for you?  I get quite a lot of data included when I top my phone up and have set up my work email account on my phone so as notification emails come straight to my phone. Pretty handy as like you, I don't spend all of my time in front of the screen x

Got a phone call earlier..

Caller: I found your ad on xxx directory. You're gorgeous.
Me: thank you, how can I help you today?
Caller: well do you do couples? How would you feel about spending some time with a hot and horny Australian couple?
Me: I do provide my services to couples, yes. When do you have in mind?
Caller: well we're coming over from Oz in about a month. (who calls an escort a month in advance?!)
Me: ah right, well if you just pop your questions and preferred date into an email I'll check my diary and get back to you.
Caller: well first can I just ask you about your services? Do you let men cum in your mouth?
Me: *audiable sigh* I don't discuss my services over the phone, sorry.
DICKHEAD: well if you're not willing to discuss it, I can't make an appointment.
Me: Okay, that's fine. Bye then.

Such lovely guys.

and you will be dressed in banana suit!

I think I need a holiday, immediately, otherwise I'm going to lose it!

"Dear Alice. I stumbled across your profile the other day and thought you are the perfect girl to help me with my little private predilictions. To be as brief as possible, since I was a young boy I've always been fascinated with wildlife programs. In particular David Attenborough's famous episode of Life On Earth where he make's intimate contact with mountain gorillas.For some reason I've always found this to be arousing. I have for some years been playing out this fantasy with various partners using a gorilla suit(with some modifacations). Recently I have found myself fantasizing about other apes, particularly Orang-utangs. Indeed, I have already gone so far as to have a Orang-utang suit specially made for me. The reason that I am asking you to help me with this is that on your profile it states that you have ginger pubes, which would be perfect for what I have in mind. As you might imagine the modified parts of the suit need someone with your haircolour to blend in for the most natural look possible. I know the above request sounds a little
strange, but I can assure you that you will find the experence emotionally and physically rewarding. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, Yours, Nick X"

Weird that is the strangest request I have read -  ROFL.  Is he serious???  Can you imagine him arriving in said suit - jesus what would the neighbours make of that one!!!

This guy Danni calls up just now and ask for Anal.a levels which i informed him i do not do, as stated clearly what i actually do on my profile, he then asks me again do i do anal.. I just put the phone down and add to block list !
**9848841**
Heathrow area  by the way ladies

hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 

hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 

Pmsl. Ask for coffee, fresh squeezed orange juice and a ham-and-?50-note omelette, to be served upon arrival .