Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2664752 times)

Kristina Bristol Escort · « **Reply #2460 on:** 10 March 2012, 01:00:12 pm »

Text from delusional idiot: You have a free place tonight for licking for the whole hour, face sitting been rimmed and anal and trying to get me to cum 3 times

me no reponse sent

Text from delusional idiot: Oh well another time with luck, you must be busy

Me no response

Well I was gutted I missed that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With luck hopefully never thank you. I would rather be busy watching paint dry

JulietteTV · « **Reply #2461 on:** 10 March 2012, 04:17:05 pm »

Quote from: JodieTs on 10 March 2012, 09:59:08 am

And they have the 'post-orgasm' second thought regrets
and can't get their clothes on and out the front door fast enough?
I totally love that bit too.

I don't know I always feel as if I've swindled them somehow but its their choice really! How do you value something like sex/bodily contact in money terms though!?
They either gel with me well and get something positive out of it or its just a really awkward experience for the two of us which has them leaving in a funny state maybe even feeling a bit embarassed. I'm surprised some times when this happens that they don't try to claw their money back not that I'd allow them.

Luvmylips · « **Reply #2462 on:** 10 March 2012, 10:48:01 pm »

Had this gem tonight:

Hi and hello,
I am Tom from Germany, a businessman and I want to come to your country and stay there for a longer time.
My homecountry is the niciest area from germany called ``Bodensee``.
I am 48 yo 186cm 90kg, darkbrown curled hair, length between the shoulders, tattoo above my ass, my cock is fully shaved and 11 inch(28cm) long, 8 inch(20cm) around, i hope its not too big, i love all kinds of sex and i will do it as often i can, 3 or 4 times in one session, i have extrem loads of sperm, many of my last girlfriends said its to much, i hope not for you?
I would like to meet you, i am looking for a friendship (or more), not hopping every day to another!
Kisses Tom

Oh the joys of this job!

Coty · « **Reply #2463 on:** 11 March 2012, 03:21:36 am »

For Gods sake

Do they not think there is a clue in the title Adult WORK....or if it wasn't there they found you, I'm sure your web site doesn't say FREE DATING SITE!
Oh I'm so frustrated with men this week, and your message has just sent me over the edge! lol

RoxyBlu · « **Reply #2464 on:** 11 March 2012, 08:16:51 pm »

Hi baby, looking for a simple blowjob with cim or facial to finish.......30 mins should be plenty, happy to pay ?150 for the right girl? Is that you? X

My response to this delightful chap...

I am not sure if you will be able to get My strap on to cum in your mouth but you can give it a go. Or did you mean Me sucking your cock? If you did then you either cannot read a profile or you are a fucking idiot. Probably both.

JulietteTV · « **Reply #2465 on:** 11 March 2012, 08:53:02 pm »

Quote from: Coty on 11 March 2012, 03:21:36 am

For Gods sake
Do they not think there is a clue in the title Adult WORK....or if it wasn't there they found you, I'm sure your web site doesn't say FREE DATING SITE!
Oh I'm so frustrated with men this week, and your message has just sent me over the edge! lol

I don't understand why everyone assumes you're looking for a relationship! I would have thought offering personal services kind of marks you out as being the complete antithesis of a relationship type of person but Mr Punter apparently thinks different.

'Don't you want a boyfriend?' no absolutely I do not why the hell are you asking?

Coty · « **Reply #2466 on:** 11 March 2012, 11:58:28 pm »

Quote from: Juliette on 11 March 2012, 08:53:02 pm

I don't understand why everyone assumes you're looking for a relationship! I would have thought offering personal services kind of marks you out as being the complete antithesis of a relationship type of person but Mr Punter apparently thinks different.

'Don't you want a boyfriend?' no absolutely I do not why the hell are you asking?

I've actually put on my website, at the end of my profile in capital letters...I am not looking for a boyfriend, fuck buddy, toyboy or Master, this is my chosen profession! Try OKcupid or The slave register.
LOL

EvaBeeva · « **Reply #2467 on:** 13 March 2012, 12:51:24 am »

Quote from: D.3 on 11 March 2012, 11:48:46 pm

Confused Caller: 'Are you available?'

Me: 'I'm afraid you're going to have to let me know a time and date when you'd like to make a booking for as that's a bit vague and I don't know when you'd like to see me'

Confused Caller: 'OK. Sorry for being vague. Can you just give me a call when you're free and you'd like me to come round then?'

Words. Fail. Me.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh!

Recently a guy tried to see me, unfortunately he didn't call until the last minute so I wasn't able to meet him. The fact that he was leaving the city didn't deter him however, he rang me the next day asking for 'some pics of u in your uniform and wearing u r strap on' to keep him company on his trip home.

Of course I said yes

River · « **Reply #2468 on:** 13 March 2012, 01:17:29 am »

Phone rings. A very polite conversation follows...

Blocked Chris MK (Drink/drugs & having a wank) on withheld number: {Sounding drugged up} I saw your number on the internet. What are your services?
me: Please phone me back on a non witheld number.

_{Several calls intercepted by Blacklist Hence me having caller details}
Blocked Chris MK (Drink/drugs & having a wank) on withheld number: I just rang but I kept getting cut off...
me: (very polite voice)That is because my call blocker intercepted the calls. You have previously tried to book me but I do not wish to see you or talk with you.
Blocked Chris MK (Drink/drugs & having a wank) on withheld number: Oh, ok well bye bye.
me: Goodnight.

River · « **Reply #2469 on:** 13 March 2012, 01:36:19 am »

Mainly passive: I saw your ad and I would like to visit you. The thing is that I'm mainly passive...
me: You want me to fuck you? Is that an absolute, because I'm passive too. would you wish to see me without that?
Mainly passive: (crestfallen voice) Well not really...
me: Sorry I can't meet you. But I do have a lovely Ts friend who is active and localish....
Mainly passive: Oh ok that would be great.
me: Passes K.C's number over.
Mainly passive: Thanks.

_{Ten minutes later:}
My friend: You just passed me a caller. Thanks hun. He's booked in for tomorrow morning.
me: You're welcome.

Oh well.

EvaBeeva · « **Reply #2470 on:** 13 March 2012, 12:51:26 pm »

Yeah, the only attention I'm getting is:

Him: "Are you available for a massage?"
Me: "Yes I am, when were you thinking?"
Him "Oh, I don't know" *click*
beep beep beep
*sigh*

DianaMurphy · « **Reply #2471 on:** 13 March 2012, 02:30:38 pm »

Quote from: D.3 on 11 March 2012, 11:48:46 pm

Confused Caller: 'Are you available?'

Me: 'I'm afraid you're going to have to let me know a time and date when you'd like to make a booking for as that's a bit vague and I don't know when you'd like to see me'

Confused Caller: 'OK. Sorry for being vague. Can you just give me a call when you're free and you'd like me to come round then?'

Words. Fail. Me.

I've had several guys asking me to call/text them when I'm available... yeah sure, do you want me to pick you up and take you home afterwards, put the kettle on and rub your back...

Mellow · « **Reply #2472 on:** 13 March 2012, 04:03:03 pm »

I have had a gutfull of VivaIdiots this week already. Heres the latest:

ForeignVivaCaller "Is that you in the photo......mumble mumble"

CalmEscort "Sorry what did you say?"

ForeignVivaIdiot "How much is it for an hour?"

EscortwithherHacklesUp "?X"

ForeignVivaTosser: "Can I have a discount"

EnragedyetstillCalmEscort: "No I don't negotiate my prices"

ForeignVivaAsshole: "Thats too much I'm a student I'm looking for ?50-?60 for an hour"

Escort(fuckoffanddie): "You won't find anything at that price, I suggest you go and look on the streets"
***HANGS UP****

Phoenix · « **Reply #2473 on:** 13 March 2012, 06:00:35 pm »

I had just pulled up at my drive after an extremely lucrative booking and was about to switch off my work phone for the night when it rang..

Intelligible-Foreign-Accent-Haggler: ..So..?xxx ees too much outcall.

Jaded Escort Playing Dumb: Excuse me?

I-F-A-H: No no. ?50 good for you, yes!

J E P D: ?50 no good for me. No!

I-F-A-H: ?50 good.. and you good also pay for Taxi home!!..

J E P D: Oh, ok then, you should have told me about the free cab ride- upon merit- in the first place! I'll try extra hard to earn my ?50 then! Lucky meee!

I-F-A-H: What??

Talk about being brought back down to earth with a bump..

Mellow · « **Reply #2474 on:** 13 March 2012, 06:37:19 pm »

I think my ForeignVivaAsshole and your ForeignHaggler must be twins

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2664752 times)

Kristina Bristol Escort

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

JulietteTV

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Luvmylips

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Coty

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

RoxyBlu

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

JulietteTV

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Coty

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

EvaBeeva

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

River

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

River

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

EvaBeeva

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

DianaMurphy

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Mellow

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Phoenix

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Mellow

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!