I recieved the email below from a weirdo a few days ago, didnt know whether he was serious or justa timewaster, so ignored it   

   
Hi *************

Your website is amazing.I will be in London next week and wd love a session with you maybe 2hrs. For you to dominate me, especially sit on me, including sit on my face, smother me and use my body as a couch to relax on while you make me worship yr body on top of me.

What do you think?


I am looking for an IEbony Goddess to own me in London.


If you like you can invite friends over and have a party on top of me.Or even a boyfriend you can fuck  on top of my face...anything you wd do on a sofa or bed you can do on top of me.


What do you think?


David

Mid day today

"hiya"


Yawn!

Usually I just shrug and move on when faced with Timewasters, but for some reason this one really pissed me off.

This guy is notorious in my area for emailing new escorts on AW literally within hours of their profile first appearing (he must use the feature which alerts them to new profiles). He has emailed me within a few hours of all 4 profiles I have had over the years  previous to the one I have now, and a good few ladies I have met say the same thing. He does have a few glowing feedback though strangely.

Emails -

Him - "Where abouts in {small area} exactly are you located babes? Street addy?" {think he means address lol)
Me- "I am in {street name - not giving him any more info grr} x"
Him - "Are you not still in {other place I used to work}?"
> I think 'great so I have seen this tosser before without even knowing it!'
Me - "No I'm in {street} now. Would you like to make a booking? L"
Him - "No babes just not the same with no {services I have stopped offering a while ago}"

IF YOU KNOW FULL WELL YOU DON'T WANT TO BOOK, KNOW I DON'T OFFER WHAT YOU WANT, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EMAILING ME, AND MORE TO THE POINT - WHY DO YOU WANT MY BLOODY FULL ADDRESS??!!! Something seems sinister about him, from the way he wanted the address with no intention of a booking and how he jumps on new girls as soon as they register.


Jesus. take deep breath. rant over x

 

Jesus. take deep breath. rant over x

Don't worry, I find random demands for my full address from strangers really annoyingly weird and weirdly annoying, too! Had someone earlier today say pretty much, "Hi Emily! I have a question - could you text me your precise location, please, so I can see whether I can visit you today?" with literally no other conversation, no name given, nothing. So I said, "Er, no. You can see my general location and nearest tube station on my profile. There's no way I'm texting some stranger my address! Why would you ask that?" and, er, yes, won't be seeing him anytime soon.

I have one theory that guys who first start using Adultwork often can't tell by reading the profile (because they don't actually read the profiles, but that's another topic entirely!) whether they're calling a real independent or a fake-indie actual-brothel/agency profile, so they must often receive the full address upon request when they're actually contacting a brothel receptionist who's manning the phones for a bunch of not-entirely-indie girls in a flat that nobody really lives in. Of course all these details don't matter in the grand scheme, but I think it contributes to a lot of confusion on the average punter's part - learning to read between the lines on AW is a skill in itself; unfortunately, it's not learned til after learning to read the lines properly first so I suppose it takes them a while.

Don't think any of that describes your guy though, LouLou - he just sounds like a smug creepster who wanted you to know that he "knows who you are" and wanted you to know that he doesn't approve of your current services list, like that would ever have anything to do with your decision! Any smart person would check your profile and move on if it's not right for him; only sad losers will feel the need to throw a silly tantrum at you. So yes, cast him from your mind and move swiftly on to greener pastures(/nicer clients).

Not a punter (well, not in this context), but he just sounds like such a knob.

Hi,

Hope you're well, I am writing to you regarding your work.  I've checked out your website, in particular your photos.
I'm a professional photographer, quite well known in the art circles and have decided to offer my services to yourself in regards to updating your photos.  I feel, my style, would lend very well to your image and help you gain a different class of client.  My work is very well known and because I have a few free months coming up, I am offering a very reduced service.  I know it sounds like a sales pitch but if you check out my work attached, I think you'll be able to see the vision and beauty.  It would elevate you above everyone else, gain you more work from a different cliental.

Let me know if you're interested.

Knob

http://www.knobbymcdickhead.co.uk

knob@knobbymcdickhead.co.uk

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

"Hello sweety, You are absolutly Goddess:-) I am a driving instructor and I would like to offer You a deal:-) If You have no driving licence, You can have one with me for free, just we can swap the service:-) I will offer You lessons for the time with You. Driving licence cost about 1000 GBP. So we can have in car sessions about 2-3 hours than after I will spend about 30 min with You :-))) It is up to You. I am very nice and friendly mate:-))) I came from western europe, but living in London about 8 years now:-)) If You wish I will send You my pictures:-))) If You have already driving licence please ignore this letter. Thank You for Your time. Have a nice day:-)))

Thomas"

Snort.

?30 per lesson x 30ish lessons.

The laughable bit is the exchange rate he's offering..