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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2591136 times)

Iman

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #990 on: 20 April 2011, 02:29:37 pm »
Me: so, I'm going to need your address
Him: I know a discreet field...

 ::)

I just said he was talking to the wrong woman. Honestly, a field!
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jezebeldays

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #991 on: 20 April 2011, 03:32:19 pm »
recieved this today ...
i was wondering if youd like to get involved in makin a sex tape with me for porn site im creating, any pay will be in the form of the tape as final product and you can put it on here for credits etc

if your interested email xx%$??"
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sammy s

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #992 on: 20 April 2011, 09:20:04 pm »
Got this email on AW today:

Madame,
Would you be interested in a 2 hour booking with me tonight and instead of a cash payment I can offer you a kitten from the new litter I have. She has some health problems but is adorable.
Let me know soon so I can arrange to have her packaged up for you.
Warm Regards


A kitten??!! Packaged up?! It's not a bloody parcel. Some men are so random!
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #993 on: 20 April 2011, 09:33:02 pm »
Quote from: sammy s on 20 April 2011, 09:20:04 pm
She has some health problems but is adorable.
Let me know soon so I can arrange to have her packaged up for you.
Warm Regards

That one MUST be a joke. :o A horrible, unfunny joke; it just can't be real!
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sammy s

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #994 on: 20 April 2011, 09:44:09 pm »
I know!!! Surely it cant be true unless he's completely insane.
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xw5

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #995 on: 20 April 2011, 10:44:35 pm »
 :o Not even 'fuck me for a kitten', but 'fuck me for a sick kitten who may not be weaned yet, despite me knowing nothing about how suitable a home you'd be for her'!



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'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Winding down YourEscortSite.com

Iman

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #996 on: 20 April 2011, 11:21:18 pm »
 :o

A kitten? That's just... I don't even...

Worth forwarding to the relevant authorities maybe? He's probably joking, but if he isn't those kitties need to be as far away from that daft numpty as possible.
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #997 on: 21 April 2011, 12:27:15 am »
The biggest joke is a kittens not worth much especially a sick one!

Wierdo  :o

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sara1980

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #998 on: 21 April 2011, 01:27:24 pm »

A couple of texts that made me lol.....

'I see another lass near 'town' and I get as long as I want for ?25'   ::) Sure you do!! Enjoy your next visit to her then!

This one just in......

Him - 'HELLO??' What can you do for ?50???'
Me   - 'With an attitude like that? Nothing at all!' lol

Sweet Lord! - Do I seriously look like a charity? hahaha
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Iman

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #999 on: 23 April 2011, 04:29:25 pm »
From adultwork

"Hi

just taken a look at your profile and very intrigued. New here, yet hoped to find a genuine member who can introduce me to AW.

Please take a look at my profile as i am genuinely seeking services, and have completed as many details as possible including pics. sorry didnt read the profile properly before sending this yet wondered if you offer 1/2 service for an initial meet.
As mentioned in my profile i can provide any further details if required."

If you'd read my bloody profile before mailing, you'd have discovered that the answer was "No"  ::)
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1000 on: 23 April 2011, 04:32:53 pm »
WTF? At least he's upfront about his uselessness though.
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Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1001 on: 23 April 2011, 08:25:15 pm »
I love how he repetedly asks you to read his detailed profile, no doubt full of things no escort would ever care about, but can't be bothered to read yours  ;D
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Previously known as Krystal Champagne

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1002 on: 23 April 2011, 08:51:01 pm »
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 23 April 2011, 08:25:15 pm
I love how he repetedly asks you to read his detailed profile, no doubt full of things no escort would ever care about, but can't be bothered to read yours  ;D

Ha. It does happen sometimes that someone with a really detailed AW profile - obviously unusual because why would any punter put his face picture on a site like that?! - or even through regular email insists that I see what they look like before I accept their booking. And I'm like: wut? Do you want me to decide whether or not I fancy you before I allow you to book?! Do you not understand the entire point of my job?!? ;D

(Also, I find these pictures invariably amusing, but then I think everyone looks a bit silly when trying to look extremely sexXxi in pictures!)
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Karin

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1003 on: 24 April 2011, 08:49:08 am »
Woke to this one on V.St...

"I am an asian, 20 year old young man, I am new for all this but I need to fuck a woman. your age is very suitable for but I don't have money to meet you. I am just moved from london with my family, and searching for jobs now. Is anybody you know who needs a young man for dating or naughty fun or for some sex..............get in touch with me........I need some one aged between 30 to 45. Actually, how much you charge for an hour?................thanks........help me find someone for free naughty things but when I get a job I will meet you for 3 or 4 hours.................thanks"

 ::)
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1004 on: 24 April 2011, 11:30:27 am »
Just before 11pm, last night.

*ring ring*
me: Hello
young man: Hello?
me: Hi
young man: I think I've got the wrong number.
me: Ok. Have a nice evening. Bye.

30 seconds later.

*ring ring*
me: Hello
young man: Hi. Where are you based?
me: Didn't you just call me and say you got the wrong number?
young man: Yeah I did.
me: So do you know who you're calling?
young man: Er no.
me: Then what does it matter where I'm based?
young man: Er I don't know my friend just passed the phone to me.
me: Ok, well why don't you just go off and drink some more and not think about me.
young man: Er ok then.
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