Lately I’ve been getting weird messages, lots of requests involving piss and shit..! Someone recently asked if they could collect my waste in a bag every day.. another asking if I could piss on the floor so they can lick it up..!! 
They do come across quite submissive but I can’t understand it myself 

Does anyone honor these requests or are these men time wasting weirdos?  I only have ws listed on my page, nothing else to do with scat or even dom/sub.
As soon as I see ‘hi mistress’ I think oh here we go…

It gets boring dosnt  it all those stupid requests  ?
I just used to block and move on
They get off on messaging that's all

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Subject: Hannah
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My name is andrew I'm 35 years old looking to schedule an outcall meet with a difference. I am looking to try something completely different or to me it feels. I would like to do a 2hr session with you I would book a hotel close to you. For this I'm looking to try a roleplay where you are my office worker and to set the scene. I would like office attire so blouse bra big white knickers I adore big knickers and kneelengh skirt and either tan tights or tan stockings

Your husband has dropped you off as I require some papers urgently you are in a hurry so give me the papers I try to make a pass at you several times but your not interested as your happily married. I give you an ultimatum if I can guess two questions correctly you have to stay with me. You secretly want to have sex but don't want to cheat on partner. I would also like to incorporate something called splosh not sure if you know of it. Basically is food play. So thinks I would like to incorporate for instance would be if your wrong on the questions you may accidentally sit in my cheesecake and you can't show your outfit to husband like that.

I would help you clean it but one thing leads to another lol and I adore snogging and sex cowgirl is my fav with knickers still on pulled aside. As you can tell I adore big knickers big fantasy of mine would love to see them damp and love to see a lady orgasm.

Maybe after you have cheated on husband you will be punished by answering some questions correctly if you lose you could end up with custard poured in the back of your knickers or I was gonna get an accessible room so I have a big bathroom that way I was gonna get a massive paddling pool full of custard could see some fun in that and throughout you will be doing everything possible to not get messy what do you think how much would you charge? Also please confirm date? And whether you require additional funds to buy outfit as I'd hate to ruin your best I can also pay deposit to confirm this is ligit





So legit that he didn't read a single thing or he tried to fit as many of the things I don't offer into the message. 

Hey

I really like your profile, and was wondering if you would consider something a little different?

I dont want full sex or a bj or anything, but i would like a very regular, easy, short booking?

Id like just 10 mins, to perhaps smell your feet as i wank myself, finished with cum on you somewhere?

Or perhaps i just look at you in a thong with your breasts out? Again, finished with cum on you?

If you are not into any of the above, consider selling a worn thong & socks?

I appreciate 10 mins isnt long, but its all i need. But id like at least once per week? Build a regular / easy thing for us both. I only want to meet 1 lady, and i'd like it to be you

Let me know your thoughts please

God almighty, the idiots are out in force today.
Give me the patience not to murder one please. I don't like the idea of prision 

3 blocked so far this morning, please there has to be just a normal nice man out there somewhere ffs

Even I will admit the quality of the text messages at the moment is dreadful.

I've had so many recently I would hijack the thread so I'll spare you..

This one popped up today after contacting me out of hours yesterday. was all fine then..

Him: Sunday is clear for me, I'd like to be your 1st if possible.
Me: Why? (I probably know why but I wanted to hear him say it!)
Him: It's not any reason, I would like it that's all, hope that's not out of turn, isn't meant to be
Me: It's an odd thing to say if you've actually got no reasoning behind it
Him: So I'm your 1st of the day as well, if its a problem I apologise
Me: It's not a problem acually requesting it but it makes no sense without reasoning behind it. Everyone gets the same quality of service regardless.

He still refused to give it up and I got bored and blocked him! Talk about squirrely

Hi you available tonight for a incall I live locally in xxxxx area and im no longer with my girlfriend no more who I used to do onlyfans with and I'm a bit bored as I've not had no action for few weeks, I'm 27 years old white British and proper person and fancy meeting up with a bit more of a professional girl who dose things properly
If available tonight.

Many Thanks. xxx

When they WhatsApp you a photo thinking you’re going to be gushing for them..

Last week someone offered to send a photo to convince me to see him when I wasn't available. If I'm not available I'm not available.

I get the occasional message telling me they are 6ft 3 and work out daily, or similar. This is supposed to have me drooling and gagging to meet them?

Nah. It has me blocking them 😀