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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587713 times)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #930 on: 19 March 2011, 08:13:08 pm »
My name is Mohamed and am 63. I have been suffering with Leukemia for the past 3 years and am predicted to have months left. I have 3800 pounds saved from working since I came to the UK and should be leaving it to my dear son who looks after me but I am looking for a girl to strip it from me.

I am in my study with my son in his room upstairs. I am looking to be instructed how to secure myself to the chair and gag myself so I cannot call to him, then wire all the money in chunks of 500 to you (whoever accepts this)

My son is very bright and protective of me and will need to be distracted while I do this maybe via a messenger conversation while you instruct me.

I love him dearly and know this money should be going to him which drives anxious/excited.

  ???

WTF????????????????

Mentalist? or Nigerian scam?  Either way, totally bizarre!

Coty xxx


Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #931 on: 19 March 2011, 08:23:04 pm »
I'm thinking strange fantasy, like the one who was messaging people on AW about how he/his mother is disabled and he realised he loved humillation when he/his mother was abused by some random teenagers.

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #932 on: 20 March 2011, 07:17:55 pm »
Quote from: a man boobed zombie
Please ruin my life as I know it and turn me into your man boobed zombie paying idiot slave.
I would like you to invent a appropriate nickname for myself as i also find this a big turn on.

I should not be allowed to have a girlfriend by yourself so as to always spend my wages on yourself.

Please tell me what you will do for motivation for me to see you and waste my wages each month ?

Slave
Fattytits

Clearly this is my lucky weekend!

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #933 on: 21 March 2011, 09:38:30 am »
LMAO
OMG, they just get weirder and weirder!

Coty xxx

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #934 on: 23 March 2011, 11:28:33 am »
I'm posting this one mostly because I'm wondering if he's tried it with anyone else.

I've had a texter for a few days. I deleted the first few where he asked if this was Maria and if she was still working. I haven't responded to any of them since I figured if he was genuinely looking for Maria it wouldn't take him long to realise that she's not here. Since then it's been:

Are you still working?
Maria - are you still working? Mark
Maria - can you give me the number of the place you are working so I can contact someone else if you're not around. M
-Then he called me, I picked up, and he hung up as soon as I said hello-
Dialled by accident - sorry! Are you working?!
Let me know & I'll come down - I've seen you before so not sure what's up?
Hello?!
Maria, are you working this avo?

Now, it's not entirely implausible that Maria hates talking on the phone, or that he's deaf/unable to speak, but given that he started off asking if he had the right person, and the evidence he's had since, and that I've had this number for over six years, I think it's unlikely he's such a dummy that he thinks he's texting someone he knows. I reckon it's a variation on "a friend gave me your number", and I'm meant to be trying to tempt him away from Maria with my sexy textiness. So, anyone else had this one?

Yorkshire Rose

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #935 on: 23 March 2011, 12:28:04 pm »
I am getting them all today...

How much for an hour?
I answer with my rates
Oh I have ?30, what can you do?
'NOTHING'
please help me love I really need sex but can only afford ?30

NO!! You are ?100 short of my initial fee to start with and if you can find an escort willing to do ?30 an hour she won't have enough hours in the day as everyone will want to see her!

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #936 on: 23 March 2011, 12:57:27 pm »
I'm posting this one mostly because I'm wondering if he's tried it with anyone else. I reckon it's a variation on "a friend gave me your number", and I'm meant to be trying to tempt him away from Maria with my sexy textiness. So, anyone else had this one?
Not specifically that person.
But I regularly get calls from people asking for:  "Random female name"
I think the callers are nervous / shy and just need a gentle bit of coaxing:
One or two sentences from me to show that I'm friendly, approachable and normal {ish... ::)}.
I then handle the call as any other enquiry, by asking if they are looking to book an escort, today.
Some of these calls then result in Coin.

"a friend gave me your number"
My eyes roll up to the ceiling.
but again I handle those calls in the same way, and on occasion they also result in Coin.
On post-sex conversations they are open. It usually turns out that a friend did give them my number after all,
which considering how unaccepting society is of escorting, really seems weird, to me.
Hey ho.....
« Last Edit: 23 March 2011, 01:06:20 pm by JodieTs »

Stephanies Secrets

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #937 on: 24 March 2011, 04:01:06 pm »
Had a great one today...

Guy I've seen before calls me this morning to ask if I'm working today. I tell him yes and at what times. He mentions that he is going away tomorrow and says he'll call me back this afternoon. So far so good.

I get a text.

Hii Stephanie.... Can I Giv u de money tomm

Errrr... let me think.... assuming 'tomm' is 'tomorrow' and not 'at the start of our appointment'... NO!  ::)

I explain that it's always money upfront.

Ohh ok... I'm getting my money only tomm

Hm, maybe he should call me tomm then, Oh, he can't, he's going away tomorrow isn't he? So I didn't bother replying to that one and ate some cake instead  ;D
« Last Edit: 24 March 2011, 05:34:48 pm by Stephanies Secrets »

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #938 on: 24 March 2011, 04:48:11 pm »

So I didn't bother replying to that one and ate some cake instead  ;D


Good call! lol

Coty xxx

Stephanies Secrets

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #939 on: 24 March 2011, 05:34:06 pm »
Good call! lol

Coty xxx

I find cake to be the antidote to all kinds of stoooopid  ;)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #940 on: 24 March 2011, 06:01:19 pm »

I find cake to be the antidote to all kinds of stoooopid  ;)

I find chocolate is the cure:-) no wonder I'm a BBW with all the twats out there! lmao

Coty xxx

[Edited to fix quote]
« Last Edit: 25 March 2011, 01:33:08 am by Anika Mae »

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #941 on: 25 March 2011, 01:38:32 am »
I hadn't heard from Desperately Seeking Maria in about a day, then this afternoon as I was going into town I missed a call. I only heard one ring, but since there was background I could have missed the previous ones, so I sent my missed call template text (it says if you call now I can answer). At that point it occurred to me to check if it was him and yes, it was. I wondered if he was going to call back and finally talk to me, but nope, he sent another text instead. It said,

Quote
Is this Susie?

LOL.

Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #942 on: 25 March 2011, 08:17:16 am »
I hadn't heard from Desperately Seeking Maria in about a day, then this afternoon as I was going into town I missed a call. I only heard one ring, but since there was background I could have missed the previous ones, so I sent my missed call template text (it says if you call now I can answer). At that point it occurred to me to check if it was him and yes, it was. I wondered if he was going to call back and finally talk to me, but nope, he sent another text instead. It said,

Quote
Is this Susie?

LOL.

He's definitely working his way up the alphabet Anika, he will be asking if you are Xenia by this time next week! ;D

I had a text last night 'Whereabouts r u? I need your full address not just a vague answer plz, wot service u do? can I cum in yr mouth?'

As you can imagine I text ed him back immediately with all the details he requested and an offer of a ?50 discount as a reward for his charm ;)

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #943 on: 25 March 2011, 11:31:30 pm »
"hi,

i am interested in only a prostate massage.

i am suffering from Chronic Prostatitis which is a very painful and discomforting condition.

i heard that getting a Prostate Massage helps ease the pain (temporarily).

how much will this cost for only a Prostate Massage ?

Will it include me ejaculating or not ?"

This has to be thee funniest email I have ever had on Adultwork.

He can get a prostate exam FREE on the NHS lol, but I bet that wouldn't include him ejaculating  ;D
Chancers!


"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #944 on: 26 March 2011, 02:48:38 am »
Text at 1am tonight. Crouch end? Now?

Are these guys mental? Who in their right mind would respond to a text like that?

Coty x