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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587629 times)

Gypsy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14280 on: 23 February 2021, 05:29:57 pm »
Increase in timewaster enquiries for me. Message from someone who apparently saw me years ago wanting a 90 minute GFE. Er, no thanks. He said either a GFE or roleplay. I said I could do the roleplay. Then he got called into work  ::)

Who does GFE for longer than an hour? I don't mind with my regs, that's fine, but the majority of times they are over quickly and plenty of slobbering goes on.

I don't think 90 minutes sounded so genuine even if I had seen him years ago.
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14281 on: 23 February 2021, 09:16:43 pm »
I've had some classics this week and it's only Wednesday...

Nob head 1

Him: Hey are you free tonight for a half hour incall?
Me: Hello. What time is tonight?
Him: Around 9pm
Me: No that's too late I'm afraid
Him: Ok
Me: What do you do for a living?
Him: I work on an ambulance base
Me: Ok maybe a half hour at 9 would be ok
Him: Can I ask about our time together?
Me: Ask away
Him: Sorry to sound so blunt but I'd like to make you cum lol what sort of things do you enjoy the most
Me: Sorry not really a thing with me
Him: Well I'd like to try, I'm a bit big if that helps lol
Me: Of course you are and this isn't total BS and you're NOT a time waster, bye!

Do men seriously think that cock size has anything to do with orgasms? I thought we'd moved on from this utter nonsense?!

Nob head 2

Him: Hey LadyS you english babe zx
Me: Well I was born in Scotland so..
Him: Your fit x you free later
Me: What times later?
Him: I can pay lot smell your bum why relive self c
Me: I know, why don't you fuck off and work on your grammar and punctuation instead?

Nob head 3

Me: (Calls me instead of texting) Can I help you?
Hm: Can we talk pls
Me: No, I'm in company
Him: So what if you're Romanian why I turn up
Me: Then you'll need a translator?
Him: You need anger management
Me:  :FF

Nob head 4
Him: U workin
Me: You paying by the letter?
Him: ?
Me:  :FF
Him: cash

Nob head 5 (arguably the winner so far this week)

Him: Do you have a sister on AW?
Me: Why?
Him: Every mans dream to have sisters lol
Me: Never. Gonna. Happen
Him: Why not
Me: Really? You need to ask that?
Him: I wasn't expecting you to play with eachother but maybe fighting over my cock wouldbe horny
Me:  :-X :-X :-X :FF
« Last Edit: 23 February 2021, 10:21:19 pm by Snow Whitest »
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

Schwiftysquancher91

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14282 on: 24 February 2021, 04:33:08 pm »
Ok so this is a camming one but I had to share..

me:-So what brings you here?
him:-was bored at work
me:-Ah I see fair enough
him:-got passengers waiting outside fuckem
me:-passengers? where are you? A bus?
him:-on my bus at the end of journey
me:-honestly?
him:-yeah
me:-Omg
him:-got 10 min wait
me:-Well I would invite you to take me to group but I mean.. bit awkward?
him:-lol, cant get my dick out on bus lol
me:- yes, I would not advise you whip your cock out on the bus....

No wonder they are always late  ::)
'I don't know, its like there's a light at the end of the tunnel'
'That's hellfire, Dean'

Dynamite Doll

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14283 on: 24 February 2021, 10:18:01 pm »
Ok so this is a camming one but I had to share..

me:-So what brings you here?
him:-was bored at work
me:-Ah I see fair enough
him:-got passengers waiting outside fuckem
me:-passengers? where are you? A bus?
him:-on my bus at the end of journey
me:-honestly?
him:-yeah
me:-Omg
him:-got 10 min wait
me:-Well I would invite you to take me to group but I mean.. bit awkward?
him:-lol, cant get my dick out on bus lol
me:- yes, I would not advise you whip your cock out on the bus....

No wonder they are always late  ::)
;D ;D ;D Now whenever I get on the bus and tap my oyster card I will now always think in my head hmmm wonder if this driver has had a cheeky wank before his shift from cam or his booking pussy hahaha.

Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14284 on: 01 March 2021, 04:31:10 pm »
HIM: What do you offer?
ME: What are you after?
HIM: It was my birthday yesterday so I want the experience of a lifetime
ME: Yes, I find it very easy to believe that you were born last night...

EnglishAmy40

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14285 on: 01 March 2021, 07:28:29 pm »
I wasn't sure where to put this as it fits a few threads. Weird one today, not my usual type but made a booking. Fat guy turns up and at the door he said the classic, "oops I've left my wallet in the car, I'll go and get it". I was thinking, wow that's a first for me. But he came back and gave me the money. I went to get ready and came out in my smalls. He was coughing all over the place so I asked if it was a new cough and he said it was. I grimaced and said I was worried about Covid. But anyway he told me he'd already had it but then said if I felt uncomfortable it was fine and he'd leave it. He couldn't put his jacket on quick enough. I can only assume he didn't like what he saw but I was glad he went. I aired the flat as best I could but FFS turning up with a cough.
« Last Edit: 01 March 2021, 07:30:55 pm by EnglishAmy40 »

BJC

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14286 on: 03 March 2021, 10:41:51 pm »
AW message that said

"can i cum down ur throat "

Now usually I would just ignore and carry on with my day but I'd had a shitty day full of time wasters, cancellations and general idiots so something in my brain snapped and I responded :

"Hello, I'm fine thank you for your polite introduction and request to be considered as a potential client. You seem wonderful with your literate and polite message but I'm afraid I shall have to decline, I do hope you find another lady who is willing to fulfil your demands"

The response actually made me laugh and cheered me up with the sheer audacity of it;

"well that didn't  answer my question and it wasn't a polite introduction. I guess the product doesn't match the profile."

Had me in stitches. So apparently "can i cum down ur throat" is a perfectly polite and reasonable introduction ; I've obviously been doing it wrong all these years. And the "product" not matching the profile... That's a new one for me too. I just blocked and moved on because it isn't worth the time and effort of a ping pong sniping match with a blatant time waster but thought I'd share because it made me laugh ; after the day I had it was either that or cry and chuck my work phone in the bin  :FF :FF
They tried to bury us.
They didn't know we were seeds.

EnglishAmy40

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14287 on: 07 March 2021, 09:14:25 am »
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx

CelesteManchester

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14288 on: 07 March 2021, 01:41:16 pm »
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx

I hope you told him to add about 5 extra zeros ....😉

“No doubt just an error on your end.”
An American on a British site, still learning the slang😉

Hannaah

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14289 on: 07 March 2021, 08:12:06 pm »
Subject: I'm in a very naughty mood
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I love to tease and be teased.

I am looking for a woman to grind her clit along the length of my uncovered cock, soaking me in her wetness. Taking me a close as she dares to being inside her.

Are you tempted? If so leave a contact number please.




So tempted. Not.

EnglishAmy40

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14290 on: 07 March 2021, 08:30:23 pm »
Haha Celeste. And of course it says I don't offer that service. I think that's the pull for them. They must send round Robbins out to various escorts hoping one will go for it.

Tickle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14291 on: 10 March 2021, 09:33:34 pm »
I've had a run of new client enquiries over the past week or so. I do GFE and prefer longer bookings with a good social and intimacy mix. I like things being personal and slow. The latest enquiry was the dreaded "first timer" who didn't provide the introduction or experience he wanted that I asked for. He was half answering things but diving into wear this that and the other and did I do this that and the other. I'm not a robot. I choose my own makeup and clothes and I'm not a machine where he pulls levers and gets a prize. Plus he was angling for a booking after lockdown which is pointless as I'm not booking that far ahead. I wanted to blast back everything about his booking attempt was wrong. Instead I took a softer approach and tried to get him to slow down and answer my questions and he did the same thing again of half answering and followed up with more questions. As things turned out he had just looked at my pictures and read my blog. He hadn't read my profile so I blew him off.

barbiegirl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14292 on: 10 March 2021, 09:37:46 pm »
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx

Haha I received that one
"Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot"

Liverpoolgal123

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14293 on: 11 March 2021, 11:44:02 am »
Wud luv 2 cum fill you x x

That was the email subject, once opened he had just put a kiss, William Shakespeare he is not

Tickle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14294 on: 12 March 2021, 10:59:18 am »
I'm a  bit out of practice with answering calls so goofed a bit this morning. That aside I always like to know why they are booking me and a little about them as a person. There is also the extra of pandemic safety. Todays enquiry sounded decent enough but wasn't forthcoming. I know men can see women as a list of specifications and if you meet their specification you're fuckable. The thing is I do GFE and like things to be social. I shy away from PSE because purely physical sex does nothing for me as an experience and I'm not confident handling it. Under normal times if I was used to handling the PSE element of calls I might be able to screen them confidently but I'm not there yet with it. So I try to restart and get the prospective client to open up insted of rattling of specificaions. In the end he hung up when I said we had our wires crossed. I've found a lot lately have just been looking at my pictures and not fully reading through my blurb. I find generally I'm never happy with clients who haven't read my profile.

We hadn't actually got as far as discussing safety. I have a regular penciled in for this week and have a 14 day quanrantine between clients. This prospect wanted to see me either today or tomorrow and sounded keen but I couldn't in all honesty accept a call from someone who wasn't living as a hermit or working in a very secure Covid-secure and tested environment nor want to tak the risk of passing on something froma  client who was assymptomatic to a potentially vuilnerable client.

I'm left feeling like shit after this call. I'm doubting whether I handle calls well or am too jittery over the bedroom plus I lose out as I reject on average at least 50% of prospective clients. On the other hand I don't want to feel anxious or treated like a bouncy castle and take a client just for the money with a risk of something going bad.