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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2592987 times)

Dynamite Doll

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14250 on: 04 February 2021, 12:34:56 pm »
Quote from: Braziliana on 04 February 2021, 10:36:58 am
HIM: Can I see you for a quicky?
ME (via auto-reply): To book, please say 1) your name  2) where you saw my ad  3) what time you want to see me  4) how long you want
HIM: I'm Jonny.  Saw you on AW. Want a quicky.  Can you see me?
ME: Sure.  See you at...the time that you haven't said.
HIM: I'm at your junction and I just want a bj.  Can I play with you as well?
ME: Well, time might be tight, but sure, what do you fancy: draughts, blackjack, or "I Spy"?
HIM: I meant a finger or a lick!
ME: If you want something finger-licking, try KFC.
HIM.  I'm in the car park.  Are you free?
ME: "Free"?  Don't be daft!  I charge, of course.

He was a lovely punter, I am happy to say - I have just sucked him off.  ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Maz

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14251 on: 05 February 2021, 09:51:56 am »
Him: Hello I have been looking at your profile on AW. Can I just ask are you a blonde?
Me: No I'm not    (I'm a natural brunette. My hair and skin make me too dark to ever be blonde!)
Him: Ahh ok, ok. I've been looking at a few profiles, can you just describe yourself please?
Me: No you should know who you are talking to when you call an escort. *Hangs up*
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Dynamite Doll

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14252 on: 05 February 2021, 04:00:05 pm »
Quote from: Maz on 05 February 2021, 09:51:56 am
Him: Hello I have been looking at your profile on AW. Can I just ask are you a blonde?
Me: No I'm not    (I'm a natural brunette. My hair and skin make me too dark to ever be blonde!)
Him: Ahh ok, ok. I've been looking at a few profiles, can you just describe yourself please?
Me: No you should know who you are talking to when you call an escort. *Hangs up*

From the first question I would have hanged up and blocked.

I got one dick head who asked.

Dick Head: Are you a white female :FF

ME: Cick. I hanged up the phone so fast and blocked the idiot.

I am a black female of course shows in my pics too and says so in my profile many times.
« Last Edit: 05 February 2021, 10:38:33 pm by Dynamite Doll »
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Petlover29

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14253 on: 05 February 2021, 07:39:58 pm »
I got a text

Hi are you free in the next hour then he goes on to ask loads of questions what are already stated on my profile..

He wanted to know if my  pictures was recent and tells me he has  been conned in the past.. he wanted to know if I’m still the same dress size to what my profile states .. wanting to know if my hair colour still the same as my pics in my gallery.. my hair has always been yet black it’s never changed.. he also wanted to know if my hair was a wig or my own hair.. odd never been asked that one before ha.. Then goes on to say he has been disappointed  and let down in the past with bookings....you just know these type end up being nightmares if they are genuine.


I text back and said oh piss off not today sunshine.. I couldn’t bothered at all..then blocked..
« Last Edit: 05 February 2021, 07:53:11 pm by Petlover29 »
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Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14254 on: 05 February 2021, 07:50:36 pm »
He's back! Old GoldenTongue himself.

Good Afternoon,

My names Tom aka Golden Tongue. I use to work on this site a little while ago and specialised in giving very intense and unique cunnigulus experince (hence the name lol). I've decided to start working again and need some content if you are interested? I'm happy to pay some money for your time. If your not intetested then thank you anyway and I hope you have a good rest of your week.

GT x :-p

Me: Piss off I already blocked you once ffs
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14255 on: 05 February 2021, 08:02:00 pm »
This one got right up my nose immediately..

Him: Hi have we met before r you working
Me: Sorry is that two questions? Why are you asking me if we've met? Weren't you there?
Him: Sorry am I limited to one at a time ?
Me: No, I was asking as there were no question marks
Him: Oh sorry, didn't know I was getting an English lesson miss lol
Me: Well basic grammar and punctuation shouldn't need a lesson?
Him: The message above you missed the full stop, so maybe it's not just me!
Me: Why are you asking if we've met before?
Him: I met so many I can't remember you did
Me: Yeah of course you have bye!

I've just reread his messages and I missed this prize: I was about to ask for an hour of no condom fun so I can sim and cip, is that a service you offer? Luckily he was already blocked!
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

EnglishAmy40

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14256 on: 05 February 2021, 08:52:59 pm »
I hate it when they text me and it says on my profiles at least once, no texting. That's because my screening is done by the way they sound. I still get lots of texts though but yesterday I got this:
 Hey (my work name) it's Steve. I just wondered if we could do bareback today?

We all get asked for things we don't do but this one was trying to fool me into thinking he'd been before.

Scabby git.
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14257 on: 05 February 2021, 10:18:31 pm »
EXTRACT FROM A TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE:

HIM: I'm just very horny.
ME: Well, if you are trying to get me to offer you lubricious talk free of charge, dream on!
HIM: Christ in my dreams :)
ME: You have lubricious dreams about The Lord?  Jesus Christ!  (That's The Lord's full name, FYI.  Just educating you.  I am certainly not judging you...).
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Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14258 on: 06 February 2021, 02:28:39 pm »
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 05 February 2021, 08:02:00 pm
This one got right up my nose immediately..

Him: Hi have we met before r you working
Me: Sorry is that two questions? Why are you asking me if we've met? Weren't you there?
Him: Sorry am I limited to one at a time ?
Me: No, I was asking as there were no question marks
Him: Oh sorry, didn't know I was getting an English lesson miss lol
Me: Well basic grammar and punctuation shouldn't need a lesson?
Him: The message above you missed the full stop, so maybe it's not just me!
Me: Why are you asking if we've met before?
Him: I met so many I can't remember you did
Me: Yeah of course you have bye!

I've just reread his messages and I missed this prize: I was about to ask for an hour of no condom fun so I can sim and cip, is that a service you offer? Luckily he was already blocked!

Weren't you there? LMFAO  ;D ;D ;D
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14259 on: 07 February 2021, 06:07:17 pm »
HIM: I want a blowjob, but I ejaculate tons and it gets everywhere.
ME: My one wish in this life is not to drown in a sea of semen, so I am saying no.
HIM:  Ok, sure.  I'll just masturbate instead.  It's not the same thing, but it leads to the same result.
ME: Oh, cum off it...
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Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14260 on: 09 February 2021, 12:14:47 am »
Just in...

Do you do meets as well?


I replied: "As well as what?"


 ???
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14261 on: 09 February 2021, 04:41:44 pm »
HIM: Do you allow pussy-licking?
ME: Er...ok, sure, but you have to supply the cat...
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Nadya

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14262 on: 10 February 2021, 12:28:03 am »
Him - Puts phone number in subject line

Message body 'Get in touch'

 :FF
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14263 on: 10 February 2021, 09:30:44 pm »
HIM: My cock is buzin is your piss hole?
ME: You usually fuck "piss holes", then?
HIM: Yes.
ME: In that case...piss off!  ;D
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Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14264 on: 11 February 2021, 02:50:10 am »

Subject: hey

Message: giv me ur number


They're all so charming these days.
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