See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 55 56 [57] 58 59 ... 1049

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664569 times)

Anika Mae

  • Member
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2,323
    • brighton escort
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #840 on: 03 February 2011, 10:18:50 pm »
Once I realised she wasn't going to wrap it up I should have ended it with "fine! You're perfect for each other!"
Logged

Simone

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 434
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #841 on: 04 February 2011, 08:21:01 am »
Text last night from someone I have never met before (and incidentally it is plastered all over my advertising that I don't take bookings by text from new clients :P)

'Outcall, Cramlington, 1 hour, How much?'

Now theres a man who really needs to try and be more concise in what he is saying ;D Can you imagine an actual booking with him

'You, in bedroom, clothes off, suck willy'

((shudder))
Logged

strawberry

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #842 on: 04 February 2011, 10:59:10 pm »
I got one of those texts today when I turned my phone on asking me if I was available "tonight". When I replied, but with an unincriminating text the owner acted confused. I can't be bothered getting involved with "Who's this, what do you mean?" texts. ::)
Logged

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #843 on: 05 February 2011, 12:22:20 am »
Had a guy I've seen before and had HUGE problems with call me tonight me and say..."Got 80 quid sitting here, I thought shall I buy a pizza or lick Coty's pussy...you won, so get your juicy pussy round mine now"
I replied, " Enjoy the stuffed crust double pepperoni" and hung up.
I'm totally skint, but as someone said on another thread...would rather live off baked beans for a week!

Coty x
Logged

NubianTemptress

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 240
  • In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is King
    • NubianTemptress' blog in cyber space
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #844 on: 05 February 2011, 03:35:12 am »
You ladies make me laugh, you actually reply?
I don't get them often but when the odd text arrives I just delete it.
R u free, can i c u 2nite, suck my balls in 10 min for ?12.50.. yadda yadda..

NO RESPONSE! They already know sms will be ignored, if they didn't they get the message by receiving no message LOL.
Logged
Catch me on Twitter as: NubianTempAmil

Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If they aren't around the first time,
Chances are you won't be needing them again!!

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #845 on: 05 February 2011, 01:11:48 pm »
Just got this on AW!


this is a strage request but im 23 and live at home with my mum she is fed up of the way i act and thinks i should be spanked to make me a better person but she dont want to do it and wants me to find somebody who will spank me with a slipper and hairbrush infront of her for 1 hour she as never seen me naked so im very nervous how much would this cost ? x


Hmmm, yeah right, I'm really going to reply to you, dick head!

Coty x

Logged

Claudia Reina

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 126
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #846 on: 10 February 2011, 09:30:32 am »
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... :-X :-X :-X 

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...
Logged

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #847 on: 10 February 2011, 03:09:59 pm »
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...


LMAO.......It's a mad mad mad world out there! And we sometimes walk into these situations willingly...we're as mad as they are!!!
I had a regular ages ago who would act like a baby and breast feed. He stopped seeing me when his GAY partner read his emails and found out what he'd been doing with me! ha ha ha:-))

Coty x
Logged

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #848 on: 10 February 2011, 08:29:11 pm »
Quote from: Coty on 05 February 2011, 12:22:20 am
I replied, " Enjoy the stuffed crust double pepperoni" and hung up.

That is actually hilarous!! lol

Logged

pandora

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 919
    • Pandora
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #849 on: 10 February 2011, 11:41:10 pm »
Quote from: Coty on 05 February 2011, 01:11:48 pm
Just got this on AW!


this is a strage request but im 23 and live at home with my mum she is fed up of the way i act and thinks i should be spanked to make me a better person but she dont want to do it and wants me to find somebody who will spank me with a slipper and hairbrush infront of her for 1 hour she as never seen me naked so im very nervous how much would this cost ? x


Hmmm, yeah right, I'm really going to reply to you, dick head!

Coty x



I had this one today also.  Must be doing the rounds - sniggering into his hands, pumping his willy - trying to shock the prossies! Block.
Logged

Pennymoney

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #850 on: 11 February 2011, 04:23:50 pm »
Quote from: Coty on 10 February 2011, 03:09:59 pm
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...


LMAO.......It's a mad mad mad world out there! And we sometimes walk into these situations willingly...we're as mad as they are!!!
I had a regular ages ago who would act like a baby and breast feed. He stopped seeing me when his GAY partner read his emails and found out what he'd been doing with me! ha ha ha:-))

Coty x

I have a gay regular who sees me twice a month for a fisting session. He said he's never met a guy who can do it as well as I can.  I'd never fisted anyone until this client  :)

The only memorable shite booking I had was a bloke who said "Come to my office now and trample me on my bosses desk and I'll give you forty quid." Needless to say, I didn't go.

Logged

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #851 on: 12 February 2011, 04:38:06 am »

[/quote]

I have a gay regular who sees me twice a month for a fisting session. He said he's never met a guy who can do it as well as I can.  I'd never fisted anyone until this client  :)
[/quote]

Wow, you're brave....I can't even bear to put my finger in there! lmao.....I'm useless at prostate massage!! You'll have to give me some lessons!

Coty xxx
Logged

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #852 on: 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm »
Okay I have a winner here!

Guy just phoned looking for a mistress booking. For these I always ask the contact me in writing with details of what they are looking for (I always avoid any possible sexual chat on the phone)

His reasons why he couldnt do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
Logged

Claudia Reina

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 126
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #853 on: 14 February 2011, 10:52:48 am »
Quote from: Friday on 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm

His reasons why he couldnt do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
OMG!!!  This must be the worst excuse I've ever heard!!! :o :o
Logged

Simone

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 434
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #854 on: 14 February 2011, 11:09:10 am »
Quote from: Claudia on 14 February 2011, 10:52:48 am
Quote from: Friday on 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm

His reasons why he couldn't do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
OMG!!!  This must be the worst excuse I've ever heard!!! :o :o

How about this one?
Text yesterday asking about a booking on Thursday, I don't normally answer texts but this was a very polite one, therefore I quickly answered him saying 'Please ring me for an appointment as I don't take bookings via text'.
He text back 'OK, I will ring on Tuesday, I won't be able to top up my credit until then'
Clearly he has the only PAYG mobile in history that allows you to send text messages when you have no credit on your phone ;D

Unless there are ones that let you do that now? ??? I'm fairly sure not
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 55 56 [57] 58 59 ... 1049
« previous next »