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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587712 times)

pandora

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #735 on: 26 October 2010, 03:47:44 pm »
"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?

Elixir

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #736 on: 31 October 2010, 08:15:07 pm »
Twat - Hello, where are you? 
Me - I'm based in XXXXXXX
Tw - I want a 15 minute quickie
Me - Sorry, the minimum with me is an hour
Tw - Do you do half an hour?
Me - The minimum is an hour
TW - God, you are hard work, aren't you?
Me - Can I take your name?  *File under rude idiot*
TW - Text me if you change your mind.
Me - I didn't catch that, did you say 'lose your mind?'

Elixir

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #737 on: 31 October 2010, 08:20:53 pm »
By text:

Want u suck me cock fk me hard swallow me cum do it for 100
No response
Love bean sucked fk u do u swallow be there 6
Funnily, I didn't tell him my address

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #738 on: 01 November 2010, 01:05:09 am »
Him free chat - you available tonight at this place?

Me freechat - sure email details - address + phone number

him - here's address and number - So what will and wont you do

me - profile lists do's not listed dont do it - this is price -

him - nothing overly kinky, just fucking. and a blowjob, but you need to swallow? ( i do not offer CIM)

him again - also, meant to say. you will recognise me. i play football. please be discrete (genius i have your address and phone number already!)

me - I do not swallow and do not list this as a service

him - best leave it then

Grrrr you completey and utter "fanny" as we say in scotland lol





cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #739 on: 02 November 2010, 11:10:53 pm »
"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?

You could have got him to wash your car or clean out your gutters, lol.
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #740 on: 02 November 2010, 11:16:41 pm »
Very polite sounding young man: Hi, I want to book and older woman, but many won't see me because I am only 18, is that a problem.
Me: No thats fine.
Him: So is it just fine or does it turn you on that I'm 18?
Me: I don't care about the age as long as you are clean and respectful.(sigh)
Him: Do you do phone sex.
Me: No - (hang up)
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

SabrinaYork

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #741 on: 07 November 2010, 09:50:39 pm »
hi


Would love to meet up for some fun ;-)

I'll e coming up to York this week

- *
07************
----------------------------------------------------------------
With a picture attached of a flaccid penis.

My response:

?? Oh goodie a picture of a cock which I see all the time every day with a phone number attached!
 
Whooooooho way to go me!


S x
Thought about offering NURU Massage??

browncandy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #742 on: 09 November 2010, 01:31:38 pm »
Hello there, Is it all about the money or are you like myself and in it for the sex, if it's the later, how about popping over for a few hours of fun?? xxx

do I have idiot on my forehead or something?

Roxy101

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #743 on: 14 November 2010, 10:13:02 pm »
Just got this email:

Quote
Hi

would you ever consider bareback for an extra charge

Thanks
Steve

... It was a 'snort out a sharp laugh at the computer screen and click next' moment.

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #744 on: 15 November 2010, 08:54:25 pm »
"how u doin love.. am kinda stressed out  with no sex for the past 9 months! .. coz i split up with ma ex 1 year ago . cant b fucked havin another gf yet . im lookin for a very clean an tidy girl to hav sme fun with nw and again.. let me knw wat u can offer. i sent a photo of me so u can hav an idea wat ur dealin with :P"

yuk yuk yuk. He attached a picture of what was obviously a professional male suit model (NOT him, I'm telling you it came straight out of a catalogue!)
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

sammy s

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #745 on: 17 November 2010, 11:27:15 am »
Hi beautiful
really interested In meeting up today for an hour.
I must admit two things... I'm currently very low on cash due to being made redundant and I also have a coldsore.
We don't have to do oral if you want but how about I don't pay you in cash and pay you in food?
My wife works for a luxury deli and can supply you with delicious jams, cakes and stuffed olives.
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike



Hahahhaa WTF!!!!!!

Stephanies Secrets

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #746 on: 17 November 2010, 11:49:41 am »
supply you with delicious jams, cakes and stuffed olives.

He can keep the jams and cakes, but I would work for olives  :P

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #747 on: 17 November 2010, 01:02:38 pm »
[...]
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike

Eurgh, something about that insipid, sneaky little question on the end (like he'd tried to outrage you so much by offering to pay you in jam that you'd miss it!) makes me especially nauseous.

Yes, Mike, like anyone's going to bother engaging in a far-reaching and insightful dialogue with you about the necessity of condoms when you just tried to buy sexual services with produce from your wife's deli.

He may refer to my wise lemur friend for an answer. (I'm actually going to send that link to my next idiot emailer, quite excited. ;D)
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

casey_kisses

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #748 on: 17 November 2010, 01:05:17 pm »


He may refer to my wise lemur friend for an answer. (I'm actually going to send that link to my next idiot emailer, quite excited. ;D)

Emily that is pure genius  ;) Love it!

xx
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
- Albus Dumbledore

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #749 on: 18 November 2010, 04:38:47 pm »
Subject:   Complimentary massage offer
Hi April,

I am fairly new to AW and I?m contacting you because I would like to offer my massage to you. The massage is complementary. The reason why I am offering you a free massage is that I think that it is a polite idea to give you a good initial impression. The initial meeting would give you a feel for my massage and if you feel a need in the future, then you may book again. I am passionate about massage and thoroughly enjoy giving it.

I am competent in full body massage, Indian head massage and reflexology (hand & foot, which I really enjoy giving). My core offering is the full body massage (which lasts for around 2 hrs) including head, neck, lower back, upper back and shoulders, buttocks (bum), legs, hands & feet.

The massage would be tailored to suit your requirements. I can spend longer massaging the bodily areas that you need more attention on. An assisted body scrub and wash also available when finished with massage. I have a selection of massage oils and scrubs for your convenience.

Ash x