"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?

By text:

Want u suck me cock fk me hard swallow me cum do it for 100
No response
Love bean sucked fk u do u swallow be there 6
Funnily, I didn't tell him my address

"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?

You could have got him to wash your car or clean out your gutters, lol.

hi


Would love to meet up for some fun ;-)

I'll e coming up to York this week

- *
07************
----------------------------------------------------------------
With a picture attached of a flaccid penis.

My response:

?? Oh goodie a picture of a cock which I see all the time every day with a phone number attached!
 
Whooooooho way to go me!


S x

Just got this email:

Hi

would you ever consider bareback for an extra charge

Thanks
Steve

... It was a 'snort out a sharp laugh at the computer screen and click next' moment.

Hi beautiful
really interested In meeting up today for an hour.
I must admit two things... I'm currently very low on cash due to being made redundant and I also have a coldsore.
We don't have to do oral if you want but how about I don't pay you in cash and pay you in food?
My wife works for a luxury deli and can supply you with delicious jams, cakes and stuffed olives.
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike



Hahahhaa WTF!!!!!!

[...]
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike

Eurgh, something about that insipid, sneaky little question on the end (like he'd tried to outrage you so much by offering to pay you in jam that you'd miss it!) makes me especially nauseous.

Yes, Mike, like anyone's going to bother engaging in a far-reaching and insightful dialogue with you about the necessity of condoms when you just tried to buy sexual services with produce from your wife's deli.

He may refer to my wise lemur friend for an answer. (I'm actually going to send that link to my next idiot emailer, quite excited. )

Subject:   Complimentary massage offer
Hi April,

I am fairly new to AW and I?m contacting you because I would like to offer my massage to you. The massage is complementary. The reason why I am offering you a free massage is that I think that it is a polite idea to give you a good initial impression. The initial meeting would give you a feel for my massage and if you feel a need in the future, then you may book again. I am passionate about massage and thoroughly enjoy giving it.

I am competent in full body massage, Indian head massage and reflexology (hand & foot, which I really enjoy giving). My core offering is the full body massage (which lasts for around 2 hrs) including head, neck, lower back, upper back and shoulders, buttocks (bum), legs, hands & feet.

The massage would be tailored to suit your requirements. I can spend longer massaging the bodily areas that you need more attention on. An assisted body scrub and wash also available when finished with massage. I have a selection of massage oils and scrubs for your convenience.

Ash x