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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587613 times)

Selena

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #705 on: 07 October 2010, 10:57:01 pm »
Today:

Hello I see from your blog that you have horses.  I would be interested in a pony session. [I hang up]

What the hell is that? And I am sure I do not wish to know!!!



 ;D a pony for him?!

PremiumBlonde

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #706 on: 08 October 2010, 08:03:40 pm »
I've just had an exchange of emails with someone on Adult Work :
________________________________________________________________________
Him : im staying in a hotel in folkestone and im all alone, i would love some
company and was wondering if u fancied coming down and being my company,
maybe go for a meal and a drink
________________________________________________________________________

Me : I'd love to.  I couldn't make it before 8.30pm and would need a Booking Form filled out please and we can take it from there.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Erm, what's a social meet ? *mentally resigns him to the timewankers pile but wants to see what sort of silver-tongued approach he will use as he goes for the "free all nighter".
________________________________________________________________________

Him : come down and stay with me for the nite, go home in the morning and i will
pay petrol and drink for the evening and stay in my room and go in morning
what do u think and we could go out and see who we can both pull???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Um, are you for real ?  You must have mistaken yourself for a close friend of mine, for whom I would drive for 40 minutes at the prospect of a night of hedonistic fun.  Besides which I have some wet paint that I'd like to watch dry.

Um, no.
________________________________________________________________________

Should I go ? ::)
"Men.  They come, and they go."

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #707 on: 08 October 2010, 08:48:45 pm »
Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???

I think his Match.com, Adultfriendfinder.com and Adultwork.com bookmarks must all be right next to each other in his list, and he's gotten himself very confused about what he's doing and who he's going to try and do it with. ;D
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PremiumBlonde

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #708 on: 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm »
Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???

I think his Match.com, Adultfriendfinder.com and Adultwork.com bookmarks must all be right next to each other in his list, and he's gotten himself very confused about what he's doing and who he's going to try and do it with. ;D

You are correct of course.  A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com  (No strings attached fun apparently).  He obviously thought he was on there when he mentioned a social meet.  Dammit, I let him slip through my fingers  :'(

I realised just how much I'd missed out when I read this Field Report  http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197   that he left for someone.  Oh, and of course the obligatory cock pic on his profile.  I don't like cock pics at the best of times.  Nought is the amount of cock pics I like to receive.  But it is the most horrible one I've ever seen.

What is it that makes a bloke sitting alone in his hotel room think that any woman, let alone an escort, is going to drop whatever she's doing, get ready, drive all that way to spend the night with someone they've exchanged a couple of one line emails with ... even if they are paying for the petrol !.  Especially when they usually get paid lots of money to do this.  It's taking optimism too far.
"Men.  They come, and they go."

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #709 on: 08 October 2010, 10:22:05 pm »
I realised just how much I'd missed out when I read this Field Report  http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197   that he left for someone.  Oh, and of course the obligatory cock pic on his profile.  I don't like cock pics at the best of times.  Nought is the amount of cock pics I like to receive.  But it is the most horrible one I've ever seen.

Think I'll give the pictures a mis, ha, but I have to say that FR is pretty... special. ::)

What is it that makes a bloke sitting alone in his hotel room think that any woman, let alone an escort, is going to drop whatever she's doing, get ready, drive all that way to spend the night with someone they've exchanged a couple of one line emails with ... even if they are paying for the petrol !.  Especially when they usually get paid lots of money to do this.  It's taking optimism too far.

They literally message hundreds (thousands?) of women per week (copy & paste) in hope of even a 0.5% success rate. That's why when they actually get a response they normally sound very confused and sometimes even ask you to confirm "which one u r". They probably get more responses from escorts, as they're likely completely ignored on the dating and free sex sites (unless they contact a man pretending to be a sexy lady), but of course an escort's 10,000% less likely to touch his peen unless he ponies up some proper cash so not much result either way.

So, yes, mostly they're just a confused and lonely bunch of wankers, and I mean that in the nicest way possible because at least they aren't hurting anyone and are easily ignored, albeit rather annoying when you're just not in the mood for "my penis is really important" from any man! They can get pesky on blogs/Twitter as well, so anywhere online that you accidentally reveal yourself to be female, attractive and in the possession of a working vagina, make sure you know where that block button is. ;)
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Alexa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #710 on: 12 October 2010, 06:28:47 pm »
This had me in stitches this morning.

"Hello Alexa!

My name is [deluded idiot] and I am [strange woman's] husband ( that's her "work" profile here as you can see ). I just discovered your profile recently + viewed your private gallery earlier just now and you look really gorgeous if I may say so.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering if you are single and looking for a partner / something long-term?

It may sound stupid but I love your looks and you look really like my type I click with very well. My wife and I are looking since quite a while for a really smart + good looking young lady for me as I would eventuality like to live long-term in a FFM relationship.

Anyway; I am 34y, nice and fun, educated, dominant, and if you're interested then I would be delighted if you get in touch and to get the opportunity to get to know you.

Regards, [deluded idiot]"


Sounds like I'm really missing out by turning this one down to stay with my boyfriend.
I mean, a boyfriend who's already got a wife! Exactly what a woman always dreams of! Aren't you all jealous of me? ;)

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.

strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #711 on: 12 October 2010, 06:31:35 pm »
By text this morning after I sent my website address to a multiple texter.

"Yuk bye ur old"

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #712 on: 12 October 2010, 07:45:47 pm »
Text:

"Hi are you available??? I'd like to see you asap! text back please"





sent 5:10 am...   ::)

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #713 on: 12 October 2010, 09:07:24 pm »
Jem, I'm in the same area as you and I got the exact same text (although mines was at 5.07am)  ;D  ;D

Someone must have been very desperate!
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Candyflossispink

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #714 on: 12 October 2010, 09:26:51 pm »
Alexa ~ I am so jealous!!!
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xw5

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #715 on: 12 October 2010, 09:30:55 pm »
A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com 

I still treasure the email from someone whose unique username Google turned up on a site for people wanting to be more than just friends with four-legged friends.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Winding down YourEscortSite.com

kiriad

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #716 on: 14 October 2010, 10:46:06 am »
05.10 yesterday morning my phone rings and I answer it with a croaky hello.  It was some idiot asking if I could come out to somewhere in Manchester for a quickie!!  ::) FFS!!  After receiving short shrift from me he then had the audacity to tell me that he thought that I would have been up already as "you hookers are meant to be available all the time aren't you"  Tosser!!  I had only just gotten off to sleep having been up most of the night coughing too  :( 

After trying to get back to sleep I eventually gave up and got up about 8 and logged on to AW to be greeted with a message timed at 04.38 from yet another idiot wanting to know if I could do an outcall to Llandudno Junction straight way!!  ::)
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. ~ Fran?oise Sagan

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #717 on: 15 October 2010, 05:26:39 pm »
Phone rings

Me: Hi

Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.

Him: I'd like to see you this afternoon.

Me: Ok, thats fine, what time?

Him: In about an hour. Where are you?

Me: Chester (thinks DUH!)

Him: Is that more than an hour from Newcastle?

Needless to say the booking didn't go ahead.
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

Annalisa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #718 on: 15 October 2010, 06:55:10 pm »
Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.
maybe he thought 'Inchester' was your last name  :P

KatieKurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #719 on: 15 October 2010, 08:00:22 pm »
A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com 

I still treasure the email from someone whose unique username Google turned up on a site for people wanting to be more than just friends with four-legged friends.


 ??? ??? ::)