I can't find the crying eyes emoji but this brought tears to my eyes...what are these guys thinking. I'm fairly amiable but as soon as someone calls me Babee/BB/Baby/Babs it's a definately No No Not a chance lol

The funny thing was he did have pics with an enormously HUGE photoshopped dick, then one of him with his dick in his hand, still large but not freakishly so. I emailed him back to say "Sorry your dick is too big babee..." he responded perfectly seriously with "How do you know babee?" at which point I could not continue further 

The funny thing was he did have pics with an enormously HUGE photoshopped dick, then one of him with his dick in his hand, still large but not freakishly so. I emailed him back to say "Sorry your dick is too big babee..." he responded perfectly seriously with "How do you know babee?" at which point I could not continue further 

I noticed a guy in the to let section of AW, his advert was worded ok'ish but the profile pic was him with his boxers pulled down a little and his cock in his hand  Does he seriously think that would make someone want to use his place???

Definate big NO NO is using a cock shot for your rental advert 

Unless you are on a gay hookup site I can't imagine using a cock shot being a good advert for anything... I swear guys think we are as tempted by their cocks as they are by our sexy offerings, no guys, it's the ?? and I really DO NOT need to see your dick, I know you have one!

 

Nothings going on but the rent 

I had this the other day, it's a corker...

Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.


Sadly I only just realised he also sent me this in November!!! What are they thinking, really? This reads really badly but it's ten times worse if you read it out loud...I did 

 


i got this one a couple a days ago 

Time to take off my number from AW.

Him: Hi how are you
I just seen your profile on adult work thought id message you and tell you a little bit about myself
My name is a*** i live in (wrong spelling his town name) i have a girl friend but not getting enough action and attention in the bed room i looked at your profile and you look incredible just after a completely wild evening with you love to just have a complete porn star experience im not into anything up my arse lol but i whould like to try anal on you and do watersports just to see what it is like thank you for your time x

Me: Hi i dont think you seen my profile. I dont offer anal!! Have a great day

Him: Sorry I missed read your profile im a idiot lol anal aside can we do the rest of that you just look that incredible

Just blocked him

Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.
 

Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.

Pussywillow I've had this one I remember it. Too 
I doubt anyone would go ahead with his requests !!

Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.

 


yep i have had this one 2