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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2688054 times)

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #645 on: 09 September 2010, 05:50:57 pm »
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
I got the same one!  ::) AW?
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Dani

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #646 on: 09 September 2010, 06:45:24 pm »
Quote from: Violette on 09 September 2010, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
I got the same one!  ::) AW?

SNAP.....Now I wonder why none of us jumped at the offer  :o
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Miss Melanie Minx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #647 on: 09 September 2010, 10:15:29 pm »
Violette & Danielle, yep it was of AW and when I was reading how close that mummy and son are I thought he was going to say that he would like to watch. X
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One day your life will flash before your eyes.... make sure it's worth watching

Amalia

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #648 on: 09 September 2010, 10:18:48 pm »
I've got a nice one in my email inbox today....


It's my party love...well not really, but seeing as how my birthday is this week wanted to say hey and wish you were here with me so i can unwrap and play with my new and best toy...cheers sexy...
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strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #649 on: 09 September 2010, 10:21:00 pm »
Phone call late at night "Give me your address and post code". That's it, repeat a couple of times.  ::) :'(
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jezebeldays

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #650 on: 10 September 2010, 11:32:58 am »
I got an email yesterday asking for a two hour booking to go 'dogging' with him!. This is appauling in its self but made worse by the fact I escort in jersey a nine by five island were everyone knows eachother, and I've survived as an escort only by being careful and discrete.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #651 on: 11 September 2010, 03:42:31 am »
When I quoted my rate of 140 to a client I got:

"for all night"

I replied:

"if you want something cheaper better go to the downtown strip"

Obviously, he wasn't serious and called me stupid LOL. It made me laugh though.
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Alexa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #652 on: 12 September 2010, 09:30:06 am »
Got this charming email this morning:

"hello hun
i m in my early 30, professionally employed man living in london (sutton)
if u r looking for a place to live in london or simply looking to save on huge london rental and monthly bills then we can be of help to each other
u can live - in with me absolutely free in my london flat. u will have ur own space
this will be in exchange for some ocassional, safe, enjoyable fun with me
let me know if this sounds ok and we can discuss ahead
kisses"

Wow, what a deal. *sighs* Clearly hasn't picked up on the fact that I'm based in Edinburgh.

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kimba

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #653 on: 13 September 2010, 03:45:16 am »
Email via Vivastreet;  Hi, I'm an 18yr old guy and I'm wondering how much do you charge, if anything, for your massage services?
It was the *if anything* that got me! Did he think I just travel the length and breadth of the north west  as an act of goodwill to all men ? Or was he hoping that his status as a nubile teen would be enough of a persuasion ?!  :D
" Hold on Sonny Jim, let me just pack my bubblegum flavour lube and I'll be right with you lad!  ";D
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #654 on: 13 September 2010, 10:28:09 am »
Quote from: kimba on 13 September 2010, 03:45:16 am
Email via Vivastreet;  Hi, I'm an 18yr old guy and I'm wondering how much do you charge, if anything, for your massage services?
It was the *if anything* that got me! Did he think I just travel the length and breadth of the north West as an act of goodwill to all men ? Or was he hoping that his status as a nubile teen would be enough of a persuasion ?!  :D
" Hold on Sonny Jim, let me just pack my bubblegum flavour lube and I'll be right with you lad!  ";D

Its a very personal gripe but i hate it when callers use the term 'massage service' Ive had it a few times and I'm always itching to reply 'No i don't offer a massage service, I'm an escort and i offer escort services'
I usually find if guys who have said that book me that they've said 'Massage services' as they are under the impression that paying for sex is illegal. It always amazes me how many men come to see escorts but they don't know any of the legalities. It must be a man thing, if it was the other way round and we ladies were the clients we would be coming to the booking with a up to date copy of the legislation under our arm probably ;D
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #655 on: 13 September 2010, 10:57:31 am »
Quote from: Simone on 13 September 2010, 10:28:09 am
I usually find if guys who have said that book me that they've said 'Massage services' as they are under the impression that paying for sex is illegal. It always amazes me how many men come to see escorts but they don't know any of the legalities.

I've found this once or twice, too! I've casually mentioned something or other, and they've been like, "Oh, but all this naughty illegal stuff tee hee!" and I informed them that, as a punter, they can pretty much offer money for sex to whoever they like and the police aren't going to give a flying monkey. I hope though that they aren't really disappointed by that! Some people like to think they're doing something dramatic and daring, even if they're not. ;D
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casey_kisses

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #656 on: 13 September 2010, 08:00:57 pm »
Got this earlier tonight:

Hi Faith

Sorry for the late notice request, but one of my regular girls has just had to cancel on me, she had a car crash, she is ok but not able to make tonight!

She was doing an overnight at the holiday Inn Express @ chapel bar For ?400 from 8-8, can you rescue me from a lonely night?

Jase

PS your pics look lovely


Urm Sorry Jase I'm going to have to politely decline your offer, anyone else fancy an overnight ?33.30 an hour?

Idiot.
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #657 on: 13 September 2010, 11:20:41 pm »
A conversation by SMS yesterday.

Hello anika, i met you on so long ago in brighton and you gave me your number. Are you free anytime? Would be lovely to see you again. X x

-I'm around most of next week but hate texts.-

Sorry. The speaker on my phones broke. Will be getting new one next week from brighton so i could call you when i'm there. We got on really well last time would love to just go out with you as friends. I could treat you to a night out. A lovely meal than a film? I'm flat broke and just carn't before ve rates. Would be lovely to see you again though. X

-No idea who you are so not at all tempted to give you loads of free time. Sorry.-

Ok. Its fine can understand. No harm in special rates once. :-). Let me know if you like. Like i said would be nice to see you.


Well hey, X. If you'd like to see me again and want to spend your meagre savings on dinner and a movie then that has to be worth taking a night off work for, whoever the hell you are.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #658 on: 14 September 2010, 07:27:08 am »
Quote from: sexy_faith on 13 September 2010, 08:00:57 pm
She was doing an overnight at the holiday Inn Express @ chapel bar For ?400 from 8-8, can you rescue me from a lonely night?
anyone else fancy an overnight ?33.30 an hour?

What a cheeker fucker...

Damn, the guys out there are clever. I get hagglers, but very rare is there a story attached to it LOL....But Im sure that other bitch did get into a car crash...when he told her he only had $400  :D
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #659 on: 14 September 2010, 07:40:25 am »
Quote from: American Joey on 14 September 2010, 07:27:08 am
Damn, the guys out there are clever. I get hagglers, but very rare is there a story attached to it LOL....But Im sure that other bitch did get into a car crash...when he told her he only had $400  :D

I feel bad but I did cackle at that. ;D It was a very cute attempt at manipulation, wasn't it, though?! Implying he's got a regular girl, therefore presumably CAN afford to spend a lot, but that he's so awesome this mysterious regular girl lets him fiddle away at her for practically-free. Sadly this is just too unlikely!
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