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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664814 times)

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #630 on: 02 September 2010, 12:02:45 pm »
Quote from: Amber Sweetpetite on 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith

Is that the name he sent you? Because I have exactly that with a different name, which would be pretty ridiculous of him.
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Roxy101

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #631 on: 02 September 2010, 04:35:15 pm »
I finally have one to add to the list!

Phonecall today (Bare in mind on my profile it says in big, bold letters that I can only offer incall in Chelmsford and it mentions everywhere else I can travel to for outcalls):

Him: Hey, I was wondering if I could come to you for an hour's incall booking today at XX.
Me: Yes, that's fine. You're in luck, I'm actually on my way to Chelmsford now.
Him: Chelmsford?
Me: Yes, that's where my incall place is.
Him: But your profile says XXX.
Me: That's where I live and do outcalls to.
Him: But can't you do an incall there instead?
Me: Not unless you want to come to my parent's house and greet my dad. (says in a joking voice.)
Him: *pause*. Would that be okay?
Me: (trying to figure out if he's being serious.) No. My profile says only incalls in Chelmsford...

 ::) I don't know. Some people just amuse me.
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Amber Sweetpetite

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #632 on: 03 September 2010, 08:06:29 am »
Quote from: Anika Mae on 02 September 2010, 12:02:45 pm
Quote from: Amber Sweetpetite on 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith

Is that the name he sent you? Because I have exactly that with a different name, which would be pretty ridiculous of him.

Yeh that was the name I got.
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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #633 on: 03 September 2010, 07:04:39 pm »
Ooooh! I've got one. And I never get them, hardly.

Received via guess-where:
    
Quote
hi i have just seen your profile and i think you are a very sexy person
if you are free on monday i would like to pay you for sex
i am willing to offer ?50 for 1 hour of passion (maybe more if you are any good!)
i think you should meet me because i am a very hot sexy attractive man and i am very good at having sex (my previous partners have described me as a 'sex lord') so you can see it would be worth it.
really my dick is nice and big and i know you will love it. trust me you will probably enjoy the sex even more than me!
so if its ok with you i will book you on monday so you can have the best sex of your life and also get paid for it!
i look forward to meeting you
peter xxx

Hold me back  ;D.
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casey_kisses

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #634 on: 03 September 2010, 09:45:42 pm »
Quote from: amy on 03 September 2010, 07:04:39 pm
Ooooh! I've got one. And I never get them, hardly.

Received via guess-where:
    
Quote
hi i have just seen your profile and i think you are a very sexy person
if you are free on monday i would like to pay you for sex
i am willing to offer ?50 for 1 hour of passion (maybe more if you are any good!)
i think you should meet me because i am a very hot sexy attractive man and i am very good at having sex (my previous partners have described me as a 'sex lord') so you can see it would be worth it.
really my dick is nice and big and i know you will love it. trust me you will probably enjoy the sex even more than me!
so if its ok with you i will book you on monday so you can have the best sex of your life and also get paid for it!
i look forward to meeting you
peter xxx

Hold me back  ;D.

My only response to that is:
 

;D HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Shut Up Fool!!

Again HAHAHAHHAHAA...

Ok I'm done!

xx
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LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #635 on: 04 September 2010, 01:58:59 pm »
Oh Amy, that email was HILARIOUS!!!!!  ;D

Spat out my tea at the laptop!
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #636 on: 04 September 2010, 04:49:27 pm »
That has got to be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha
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kiriad

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #637 on: 05 September 2010, 10:35:25 am »
I'm in fits of giggles here at some of these stories  and I'm not even half way through reading  yet lol ;D

The weirdest potential booking enquiry I have had to date was from a very odd guy who mailed to ask if I would consider an unusual request.  I continued reading, not sure what to expect and nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop as he described his ummm kink lol.  He only wanted me to don a pair of killer heels and spend an hour walking up and down trampling on woodlice and other tiny insects whilst he took photos!  :o  Killer heels being the operative word indeed!  Just checked for the original mail but unsurprisingly his profile is no longer active  ::)  


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fawn27

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #638 on: 07 September 2010, 03:54:03 am »
Bwahahaha "sex lord" that almost made me pee myself!
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beautifulbrunette10

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #639 on: 07 September 2010, 06:28:56 am »
would you be free for a meet next week about For half an hour-hour

Also I would prefer if you had a strapon & were the dominant type, please specify if you have a strapon & you are dominant before our meet.

My other fetishes include, foot worship, face sitting, prostate massage, wearing used panties/socks/bra, eating own cum, drinking your saliva, eating your used chewing gum, worshiping your arse (rimming), fucking a blow up doll/ fake vagina,over the knee mild hand spanking & very light financial domination.

Also could we take photos for your profile pvt gallery & video part of our meet together while you strapon fuck me?
I would always buy them as I would do anything for my Mistress :-)

Please let me know what you think of my fetishes & ones your interested in & il do anything to cater for you Mistress.

I look forward to your reply.


Thanks, love your slave x x x


AND HE WANTS TO DO ALL OF THIS IN 30 MINS? PMSL NEEDLESS TO SAY I DECLINED HIS INVITATION.

Sam Xxx
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #640 on: 07 September 2010, 07:24:38 am »
Quote from: beautifulbrunette10 on 07 September 2010, 06:28:56 am
would you be free for a meet next week about For half an hour-hour

Also I would prefer if you had a strapon & were the dominant type, please specify if you have a strapon & you are dominant before our meet.

My other fetishes include, foot worship, face sitting, prostate massage, wearing used panties/socks/bra, eating own cum, drinking your saliva, eating your used chewing gum, worshiping your arse (rimming), fucking a blow up doll/ fake vagina,over the knee mild hand spanking & very light financial domination.

Also could we take photos for your profile pvt gallery & video part of our meet together while you strapon fuck me?
I would always buy them as I would do anything for my Mistress :-)

Please let me know what you think of my fetishes & ones your interested in & il do anything to cater for you Mistress.

I look forward to your reply.


Thanks, love your slave x x x


AND HE WANTS TO DO ALL OF THIS IN 30 MINS? PMSL NEEDLESS TO SAY I DECLINED HIS INVITATION.

Sam Xxx

Being the sarcastic moo I am, I would have asked, "Is there anything else you would like?"
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Miss Melanie Minx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #641 on: 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm »
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
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M

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #642 on: 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am »
One jerk told me "I can see the dollar signs in your eyes". Charming mofo. So I suppose I'm to have sex for free to prove I'm not some gold digger - ya right friend I know that headgame well so nice try but no dice. Like all he wants is to sip sodas and play pinochle together, nothing more. If I'm a gold digger then he's a 'sex digger' methinks. Was tempted to respond -'I may be digging for gold but are you not trawling for sex, my friend?' don't bother contacting someone who is clear about paid sex if that's not what you want mister

This other individual inquired if I did anal. I told him no. He responded "why not? anal is nothing". Not only was I irked by his pushiness, but his insensitivity - ya I'm sure anal is nothing when he's NOT the one who'll be getting it up the rear. If and when I ever am amenable to getting my anal cherry popped it would only be if it's for a ridiculous figure forthcoming and not par for the course or just some extra amount.
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #643 on: 09 September 2010, 08:21:42 am »
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'

Good lord! That's a new one to me. But still horrifying. Great. ;D

Quote from: Midori on 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am
"I can see the dollar signs in your eyes".

Quote from: Midori on 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am
"why not? anal is nothing".

These guys sound like your typical Class A Morons, Midori. :( You shouldn't have to even be reading that sort of nonsense! I know your options are limited in the US, and I could kick the people in charge there for purposefully making things shitty for hard-working people who are just trying to make a living, but anyway - are there different places you could advertise? I've been seeing a lot of discussion between US sex workers about classified ad sites vs. the expensive ad sites and it's been mixed views but interesting stuff. It all seems pretty classist and frankly, I think all the options have at least one ridiculous downside, but in practical terms, there are at least different options to try out. You probably know more about them than me so sorry if that was all moot! But it just struck me that I never receive messages like the ones you got (though I'll probably get trolled any minute now I've jinxed myself ;D) and I don't see why anyone should!
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #644 on: 09 September 2010, 09:42:59 am »
Text on my phone this morning

'Hi, im just wondering what sort of outcalls you offer'

How many types of outcalls are there??
2 minutes later, same number

'For example do you offer car meets?'

Ahhhhhh now i see. ;D

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