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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2591724 times)

*amber*

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #615 on: 31 August 2010, 02:26:59 pm »
Just had something simular. Guy calls saying that he is in town thursday and friday with the work receptionist for a dirty weekend and he is in charge of the entertainment. I shall await booking call from the girl with breath that is abated!!
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #616 on: 31 August 2010, 03:02:32 pm »
I finally have a good text to share! ;D

"Hi princess,i have this business plan which i believe may fetch u good money of like 4000pounds.pls call me if interested.thanks"

Now if anyone else tells me they got the same thing I will be HEARTBROKEN as it is clearly a very personalised message and he obviously cares about me very much because he calls me 'princess'. Also he wants to help me fetch "of like 4000pounds"!! I definitely want him to be my future business partner and, possibly, pimp. What good fortune. Look out for me on a street corner near you ASAP!
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*amber*

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #617 on: 31 August 2010, 03:12:30 pm »
awwww isn't he a keeper!!!
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Amber Sweetpetite

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #618 on: 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm »
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith
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Blue

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #619 on: 01 September 2010, 10:34:27 am »
Come on girls, own up, who does this ?

AW email

do you ever do any free days, like open days? i know a few girls do this to open up to new customers?? just wondered if you did this?? xxx
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #620 on: 01 September 2010, 10:49:07 am »
Quote from: Blue on 01 September 2010, 10:34:27 am
Come on girls, own up, who does this ?

AW email

do you ever do any free days, like open days? i know a few girls do this to open up to new customers?? just wondered if you did this?? xxx

LOL! What, meet new clients?! What an outrageously outlandish idea. Or does he mean have a big day where you let anyone new come and fuck you for free? Like putting your full address on AW and leaving your front door wide open so all manner of gross specimens can wander right on in at their leisure? Gross!

Love the "I know a few girls do this" implying that you will be so overwhelmed with peer pressure that you'll immediately offer TWO open-for-murder days in order to compete. ::)
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*amber*

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #621 on: 01 September 2010, 12:11:33 pm »
Lol open days! Was he doing his UCAS application while browsing aw!!!??
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #622 on: 02 September 2010, 05:30:29 am »
This gem: Gent calls for an outcall to middle of nowhere bumfuck, I give prices. I hear sharp intake of breath. Well the numpty had looked at my half hour incall rate, which is 100 pounds, and though that was the out call rate! Then instead of getting off the phone, he proceeded to say, "But I am offering you 100 pounds!" Well, I will spare you the whole conversation, but at the end of it he still couldn't understand why I wasn't willing to get up, take off my Primark monkey printed PJs, get glammed up, packed up and call a cab to drive to the hinterlands of nowhere to suck his cock for the amazing price of 100 quid!
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kissxkate

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #623 on: 02 September 2010, 08:37:45 am »
Driving towards Hereford yesterday where I already had a 3 hour booking lined up I get a text.

man: Hi are you free
me: no sorry I've got a booking.
man: can't you see me first?
me: No
man: Can't you stop on a layby and give me a quick suck off?
me: No!
man: Have I upset you.
man: I only want a blow job!
man: I'll give you ?40!
me: No
man: What about a hand job?

At this point I stop responding.

Don't you just luv em!
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #624 on: 02 September 2010, 08:42:38 am »
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:37:45 am
man: I'll give you ?40!

It's pleasingly ironic that they do often text you these ridiculous things just when you're getting ready to see someone genuine, polite and clean who is going to give you about ?(timewaster's offer)x10! ;D
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kissxkate

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #625 on: 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am »
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #626 on: 02 September 2010, 08:54:01 am »
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.

Good! And yes, the Don't Answer List is the safest place for these tossers, best not to answer them. Now that I've got a half-decent work phone it's easy to see how many guys text more drivel literally every day or every other day - I'm astounded at how many times they text despite no response whatsoever! "r u available" "can i fuk u today" "r u free now" blah blah blah... All from the same boring git! I actually got an Android phone and paid a few quid for a proper call- and text-blocking app (mentioned elsewhere on the forum if you fancy a search) so I can remove these annoyances from my life. ;D Definitely recommended!
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Amber Sweetpetite

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #627 on: 02 September 2010, 09:00:38 am »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 02 September 2010, 08:54:01 am
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.

Good! And yes, the Don't Answer List is the safest place for these tossers, best not to answer them. Now that I've got a half-decent work phone it's easy to see how many guys text more drivel literally every day or every other day - I'm astounded at how many times they text despite no response whatsoever! "r u available" "can i fuk u today" "r u free now" blah blah blah... All from the same boring git! I actually got an Android phone and paid a few quid for a proper call- and text-blocking app (mentioned elsewhere on the forum if you fancy a search) so I can remove these annoyances from my life. ;D Definitely recommended!

I've recently lost all my saved numbers so back to square one answering the numpties  ::)
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #628 on: 02 September 2010, 09:16:24 am »
Im unable to offer incalls at the moment and im available for outcalls only so have placed a message imparting that information to my clients on my voicemail.
Switch phone on this morning, voicemail from 8pm yesterday. 'Hi Simone its Tony (who to be fair is a regular client) i was wondering if your free for an incall on Thursday at around 12noon?'

Clearly i have missed the bit i put into that voicemail that says 'I am unable to offer incalls unless you are  regular client in which case i will magic a hotel room up out of thin air asap' ::)
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #629 on: 02 September 2010, 09:26:47 am »
They don't listen and they don't read!!! I asked one guy the other day, "Did you read my profile?" "Awww, no." I respond, "It isn't there for decoration, go and read it then if the questions you have haven't been answered, then call me back."
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