Last night...1am

Client: Can I ask you a few questions?
Me: Of course
Client: What services do you provide?
Me: A lovely GFE, oral and sex with protection
Client: Protection? What is protection?
Me: A condom
Client: Are you shaved?
Me: I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: So you are not shaved?
Me: No, I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: I like it when girl is all shaved
Me: Well, I'm not all shaved so perhaps I'm not the girl for you
Client: Is it possible for you to shave before you come over?
Me: No
Client: Or you can shave when you get here
Me: No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, I prefer not to shave all my hair
Client: I have a machine
Me: No
Client: But it's brand new machine, very good one!

Argh, keep your horrid machine away from me you scary man! And as if I'd visit anyone who hasn't hard of protected sex!

Why do you humour people for this many questions? I would have hung up at protection, lol.

Latest email:

hi, do you offer discount if this was to become a regular thing?
 
thanks


Erm...No comment

Quote from: cassie on 14 July 2010, 12:41:50 am

Latest email:

hi, do you offer discount if this was to become a regular thing?
 

A client I saw once later texted me asking if we could 'make a deal', if he saw me, say once a month. Ha!

It's always the guys, who I actually enjoy spending the booking with while hoping they will become a regular, who disappoint me with this stuff.

Other ones from this week:

A text: "Do u like spanking honey??"

An email: "Hello Amber..." (my name is not Amber)

A text: "Hi, I just made a booking with you for 9 pm, can you confim me by text..." (my phone had been off for several days when I got this)

A text: "Can I have an outcall tonight at xxx (guy gives his full address, also I don't do any outcalls)

Bad enough when a regular asks, but this was the very first contact from the client.

This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

I think I love you. That guy has no idea who he's talking to!

This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

That is truly priceless! What an idiot. Good girl.

**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


[Edited to remove contact details]