Ok, now that I have promised you a pie in the sky booking, no money has been exchanged,  send me pictures with your legs spread so wide, I can see your tonsils. Spare me!

Diary of a stressed out call boy:

Today: 1 actual booking, but 3 'close' serious sounding inquries. As in, sitting down and dissecting whether they were full of shit or not. Thats 4 different men I had to cater to, and only 1 actually booked.

Why cant I just have mother fuckers lined up...in the order they are recieved? I hate having to re-arrange my schedule and shit! 

Don't mean to hog this, but this one did make ne chuckle:

'good morning. Thanks for your email reply, but I'm afraid making an appointment with you is rather like making an appoitnment to see the queen. So I'll leave it thanks'

cheeky bugger! All I asked for were some info such as his name etc & advised him I had a driver for security! :p

Isn't it wonderfully helpful when they kindly take the time to inform you that they are crotchety old wankers who probably don't wash properly and like to leave bitchy bad reviews should a girl dare to point out his BO? I mean, he's saving you the trouble of possibly going through all this by declining an appointment with you! What a nice man.

Having spent the past week Reading & laughing til I cried at this topic today am proud to have one of my own to share....

Hi

I am staying at the De Vere Belton Woods Hotel  and do so each month and am keen to bring an attractive and energetic young lady to my suite and the opportunity to teach her how to be a perfect mistress and to squirt is an ideal challenge.

The fee will be $450 per session wit

Can you send me a few appropriate photographs to show full what I shall be paying for.

You will need to be shaved.

If the pictures, and you, are good enough then I shall be happy to pay a suitable bonus  for the night girl. I am English, a gentleman in my mid forties and am energetic something I wish to have in a mistress,

The pictures should be excellent and show you nude, perhaps with toys.

Then I can send  a car to collect you.

If you are able to send suitable pictures soon we can arrange to have our first meal later today in my hotel.

Be quick!

Let me know.

Kind regards,



Be quick.... The cheeky sod ! When it clearly states I need 24 hours notice!
And I don't want to be picked up by your 'driver' when Ive never met you before ta v much  . Lol

If the pictures, and you, are good enough
That was the kicker for me! PSML.

Voicemail left 10 minutes ago in a slow slurring voice:

Hi ... call me .......... brurrarhh (or something like that) ... looked at you ........ on internet, like ... you look ok ..... call me.

Hey, that kind of flattery gets me going every time.

Nothing but TW today.... First a cancellation from one who 'had a cold'
Then a number of hagglers, 'I'd be willing to pay ?360 if your friend gets involved to...' and my personal favourite 'money is tight this month, how much for just a BJ...?50?More money can come next month '

Think I'm taking the rest of the day off!!!

Wow, a whole ?50 now?! How could you resist such a generous offer.....lol 

Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am

Hi , how much would a 1 hour outcall with you watching me poo and pee on myself and us watching extreme illegal porn cost?
Thanks

 

Urgh, I've had the same text twice! 

Yup I've had that one too!

Just read this thread from start to finish. Flippin fantastic! I've had some weird and wonderful ones over the years I wished I'd saved them. One I can recall from a guy who said he was a dwarf and he wanted me to carry him around. Erm hello? I'm 7 stone and 5 feet tall