I just got this email on AW:


whats going on trouble, just had alook at your profile and you caught my eye you lil stunner lol. well just a quick one anyway, it may be for you or it might not. i got a professinal carpet and cleaning company, how about a straight swap after i get your carpets done for some of your time afterwards ?
my name is chris, mixed race, part time model, very muscualr and tonned, 5'10, small penis, and a reasonably nice guy if i say so myself ha, well if its for you babe let me no and we can sort something out. cheers

emailed him back telling him he should look into becoming a comedien.

I just got this email on AW:


whats going on trouble, just had alook at your profile and you caught my eye you lil stunner lol. well just a quick one anyway, it may be for you or it might not. i got a professinal carpet and cleaning company, how about a straight swap after i get your carpets done for some of your time afterwards ?
my name is chris, mixed race, part time model, very muscualr and tonned, 5'10, small penis, and a reasonably nice guy if i say so myself ha, well if its for you babe let me no and we can sort something out. cheers

emailed him back telling him he should look into becoming a comedien.

Lol. I think I met this guy yesterday! Luckily he paid me in cash but now that I've read this I'm wondering whether I should doublecheck it's not monopoly money!

Oh I get emailed by plumbers and gas fitters every week.
The latest cheeky sod though booked me at a hotel I was in. He bottled it on arrival as it was not discreet enough. ie it was a lovely sunny day and there were one or two people sitting outside having a drink!
He offered me to come outside to give me 20 quid for my trouble which I did without giving him a backwards glance. Then sends dirty texts all flipping afternoon. Go figure! He had the gall to text that the 20 pounds was easy money for me lol.

Went to an outcall yesterday afternoon to a hotel. Walk into the room and the client had his laptop open on my agencies website with my profile up displaying all my photographs. Erm not off putting in the slightest worst bit was i jokingly asked him if he had them up so he could compare my photos to the real me and he answered 'yes'

Hmmmm,wonder why he was having to pay to get a woman to spend time with him?

Ooh, I've been to an agency outcall like this before! The guy was browsing the agency website when I arrived and I vaguely remember he was a bit of a berk. He showed me my pictures (which I was very familiar with already THANK YOU), asked me about the other girls and ever-so-kindly gave me his opinions on whether they were Fit or Not. I think the sex-bit went okay but I remember at the end suggesting that he try one of the other superhot babez on the site next time and pleasenotmeagainthanksbye! He was perhaps getting a bit too *into* the idea of going on a website and ordering up a fresh hot bit of ladyflesh - I think he even said he was planning on calling the agency again after I left. I mean, I like pizza and Chinese food as much as the next person but even though you can order online I can't say I've ever done it more than once in a day, it's not THAT awesome.

Edit to add: Simone, your particular client sounds like an unapologetic tosspot. Possibly he imagines himself on a one-man crusade to stop those evil bitches from having the barefaced cheek to put sexy pictures online and then charge a fee for sex - how dare they! He knows that all he has to do is book every single escort in the world once and then they'll all retire forever and women can get back in the kitchen popping out babies like they should be. That's my theory anyway. And god, how much better are the clients who see escorts for fun rather than for the opportunity to disparage them (sekritly later on the Internetz) and be generally bitter and evil!

Well ive seen stuff that would curl your hair without the need for a perm. As in ladies home addresses posted all over the internet. These are the ones who punt "incognito" so that they can fetch thier quizzing glasses, look at you, your place etc and do an impartial report. Nothing to do with the fact that if the lady knew who he was she would join the ranks of "normal" women who wouldnt shag him for any amount of money!
Oh dear, did I say that out loud?!
What I meant to say was im soooo grateful that I was allowed the chance to crawl from under my stone for an hour and promise to scurry back under it! Thanks for coming to see me and its not even my birthday....

Lol, what's his name? I'm pretty sure he's the guy who sent me a long drunken email a couple of months back saying how he was so amazing (and clearly up himself) that I'd be falling at his feet... but he couldn't bring himself to book me, only to date me. Told him no, then he decided to book me a couple of weeks later and wasn't exactly all he'd hyped himself up to be...

'LOL,well i think you will be suprised when you meet me by what i can do for my age. It wont be like work at all for you,more like just pure sex. We will wait and see about the number thing cos i bet you will want to give me it when we meet. By the way do you need a driver,im fast,cheap and reliable'

Ooh, those ones are awful, aren't they! I saw a guy the other week who was in his late 20s and had ridiculous hair; he spent the whole appointment talking about how awesome he is and how many girls he has sex with. He went on to tell me that he didn't want to have sex because he gets all his sex for free and loads of girls want to have sex with him so blah blah blah. After 90 minutes of this I gave him some of his money back and told him I'd suddenly had an emergency text from a friend so I had to go out! I know, that was really bad of me, it's not like he wasn't doing anything awful - but if you ask me, being boring and self-obsessed IS a bit of a crime. And as he'd repeatedly said he didn't want any sexual services (I think he'd honestly booked just because he thought it would improve my life to meet him) I wasn't denying him anything. At the end, he tried to ask me out to hang out with him "as friends". I said, YES DEFINITELY!! but that was a naughty lie.

And yes, Simone, I agree - if they're foolish enough to reveal their idiocy via text before the booking, it's definitely best for their health to cancel on them! It would crush them if we accidentally revealed that a lot of our paying clients actually ARE very good at the sexy stuff and so no, there are no discounts for "studs".

The driver bit is especially funny. Ha, yes please, you sound like such a reliable young man! I can't wait to get in your cheap car that you drive too fast!

Quote from: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 11:28:35 am

I gave him some of his money back

Why?

To get rid of him. Hopefully he saw the irony of being paid by a prossie to leave!