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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2590965 times)

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #405 on: 28 April 2010, 05:07:59 am »
This one woke me up and just had to share..."what time you available for a f*cking, babe?"
Saint Never day methinks!
find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #406 on: 28 April 2010, 06:32:40 pm »
"Good Evening
My wifes birthday is coming up next week and as a treat I would like to hire you for a 3some. She wont know about it as shes really jealous but I was thinking while we are out for dinner you could let yourself into our room with spare key and be waiting in the bed for her naked.  Im willing to pay you by a lot of money by cheque if you make this fantasy come true"


Hahahaha If my boyfriend did that I'd be really pleased! NOT!

He would have to pay a lot, as you would be at risk of getting slapped  out of the room by the really jealous wife, lol.


Also anyone noticed the 'by cheque' bit.

It would be tragic if it wasn't so funny - wait it is tragic anyway. ;D
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

pandora

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #407 on: 28 April 2010, 07:49:30 pm »
"hi my name is frank im collecting tights or hold ups for nursery school for art work for every pair we get a ?1 well be give to charity can you help has if you can can you email has at ******@hotmail.co.uk can you let has know with a yes or no if you well help has i well give you the address to send them to we thanks you so much if you can help can you let has know how many pair you well send thanks"

Been away on holiday and had this one also in my in box on my return.  Joy

Cherrylips

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #408 on: 28 April 2010, 09:23:48 pm »
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #409 on: 28 April 2010, 10:52:56 pm »
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

Hahaha, its actually full moon tonight.

............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???

Could be worse, he could have asked to chew on your corns. Ok, now I've made myself feel queasy.  :-X
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

anonymoussw

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #410 on: 29 April 2010, 06:28:13 am »
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???


This made me actually choke on my porridge...
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

Cherrylips

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #411 on: 29 April 2010, 10:59:32 am »
He'd be hard pushed to find a WG with hard skin and corns.  Since I started lying on my back for a living instead of walking around in high shoes for 8 hours a day all the hard skin on my feet has disappeared (sorry Benny I hope you're not eating your porridge!!)  And thankfully I have never had corns so i'm sooooo not the woman for him.

Cassie - I didn't actually know it was a full moon but it just shows you!!  haha.  I knew something was awry what with the freaky emails and texts.   ;D

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #412 on: 02 May 2010, 09:36:29 am »
A gent who saw me on webcam the other week pops up on my work msn with the following enquiry.
"When you go to bed do you use a dildo?"
I ignored it as I was having my hot chocolate and didnt want to have nightmares!
find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

Lilly1230

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #413 on: 04 May 2010, 11:02:33 pm »
I'd like to listen to some Kenny Gee whilst we do it....

Oh my

Alexa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #414 on: 05 May 2010, 10:23:46 pm »
'Hi there. Im looking for a f*** buddy on a regular basis. You up for it? Call me'

If you're paying, possibly. If not... no. Since when did the word 'escort' contain any of those letters? Twit.
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.

xxxtinyxxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #415 on: 06 May 2010, 12:19:00 am »
Hello Everyone,

Had a call today off a really happy sounding chap, asked who was working, etc then went on to say he needed some Viagra (as if i needed to know) but couldn't get any, would i be able to get him hard etc, after yawning, i replied politely yes, blah blah, he booked an appointment for 5.30.

Rang again asking same thing politely said bye, he then phoned my mobile not realising it was the same person, said the same things, yawn. Put the phone down. Couple of hours later he called again using my work name, was it OK to see him blah blah.  My reply was WILL U JUST F*C* OFF.

Where do these people come from? Needless to say he never showed up!!!!  ::)
"Who care's what anyone say's...If you've got it...Flaunt it!!!!  :-*

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #416 on: 06 May 2010, 08:43:37 am »
A gent who saw me on webcam the other week pops up on my work msn with the following enquiry.
"When you go to bed do you use a dildo?"
I ignored it as I was having my hot chocolate and didnt want to have nightmares!
I would have replied, I use a pillow, what do you use? Idiots!

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #417 on: 06 May 2010, 10:41:36 am »
I would have replied, I use a pillow, what do you use? Idiots!

Don't do that. Making that seem sexy isn't even a stretch.

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #418 on: 06 May 2010, 12:06:31 pm »
'Hi there. Im looking for a f*** buddy on a regular basis. You up for it? Call me'

Hah! Literally, an escort is going to be TOP of the list of people who are Most Unlikely To Need A Fuckbuddy. The list would look like this:

1. a sex worker
2. a badger
3. a table

...and so on.
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LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #419 on: 06 May 2010, 12:34:05 pm »
Got this email exchange today (had to share. lol!)

"wondering if a could see a few more pics baby would like a bit of a servicing now and then where abouts in glasgow are you" bleuggghhh  :-X "baby" "servicing"!!!!

I replied with a link to my website stating pics are on there and where about Iam

then: "ye aye nice pic do u not have a face one (when website has already stated I don't give out face pics) , wondering if you could give me a price on giving me some good oral sex for an hour?(prices are also on website) am not desperate but ayeve not had it gd for a while how old ru by the way? (again, my age is on website) i'm 30"
 xxx

My reply: "As website says, I do not give out face pics. As website also says the price is ?XXX for an hour of my time. I'm 23"


Seriously pissed off by this stage!!!

Him: "Do you think I could pay ?XXX for an hour for jist a blowjob? Thats why a ask u for less anno what the site says baby , yeh ever get an hour free and fancy doin it for half that then email me babes no hassle just relaxin chattin and suckin cock xxx"

Oh Christ!!!! I was laughing too much to be annoyed, Needless to say he didn't get another reply, and never will. I started to think maybe it was a joke but I don't think so - I spoke to a guy with  the same name and the same age a while ago repeatedly asking for discounts who didn't sound too bright either! think it was the same guy. At least I got a laugh!!!


"
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin