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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587757 times)

LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #285 on: 14 March 2010, 11:59:13 pm »

 he even had the audacity to ask me if I was educated as he "only likes smart birds"...

 Haha, golly... well, at least he isn't just interested in your face :)

Annabelle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #286 on: 15 March 2010, 12:20:30 am »

 he even had the audacity to ask me if I was educated as he "only likes smart birds"...

 Haha, golly... well, at least he isn't just interested in your face :)

Ah, this is true and I can at least take some comfort from that. Have to say, when I eventually stopped questioning my sanity, I did have a good chuckle about it.  :)

Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #287 on: 15 March 2010, 01:18:35 am »
I had a winner today.

Him: "How big can you take x"
Me:  "I don't keep a ruler next to my bed hun. I've been able to take everything I've been offered so far ;)"
Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"
 

Previously known as Krystal Champagne

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #288 on: 15 March 2010, 02:30:34 am »

Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"


PSML! Practical guy
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

onagainoffagainGFE

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #289 on: 15 March 2010, 02:54:44 am »
The following is a recent phone conversation, but also a masterpiece in low-balling:

Him: Hello. Is this [Jane]?

Me: This is she.

Him: I don't see any half-hour rates listed on your ad.

Me: That is because I don't offer them. Visits begin at 1 hour's length.

Him: But what if I only wanted a 1/2 hour?

Me: I don't offer that.

Him: But, say, I only wanted to see you for a half hour.

Me:  No.

Him: S0, no half hour?

Me: You are very welcome to stay a half hour, but you will be charged the full hour rate.

*Click"

jezebella

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #290 on: 15 March 2010, 10:24:51 am »
I got this yesterday:

how much would u want for u to let me rape u
i would want one hour of time and i would want u to act as if u was really getting raped asking me to stop trying to get away ect .....
plus in that hour any think go's im 27 i aint ulgy or fat i just got a dirty sick mind lol
name ur price if its realistck i will book u

No thanks!!



Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #291 on: 15 March 2010, 01:37:39 pm »

Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"


PSML! Practical guy

Practical? I can vividly imagine him in front of his TV with his remote in one hand and... you know the rest... Sad, sad people we get from time to time. Will never take a remote in my hand ever again.
I'm great in bed! I can sleep for days!

Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #292 on: 15 March 2010, 02:17:23 pm »
Got a bit of genius today as well, it's obviously a good week for it. The history behind this one is that I have actually talked to this guy before - he texted me for a booking and then spent another 30 texts or so asking detailed questions about my services and trying to persuade me that he was a straight male escort looking for someone to do couples work with - sounded like asking for freebies to me and I said no to that. He still seemed interested in the booking, but was only free on an evening I wasn't available. He said he'd text back another time and I figured that was it, time wasting done.

This morning:

Him: R u up 4 a drink then? X
Me: I'm up for a booking. I don't socialise for free.
Him: Awww go on, if we shag al stil pay ya x [Generous, isn't he?]
Me: No. I have friends and a boyfriend, I do not need to drink with clients.
Him: Do u have any single mates?
Me: They don't date my clients either. If you want to pay for sex use adultwork.com, if you want free sex use match.com. Tbh it'll end up costing you either way. Hooking you up with freebies is not a service I provide.

Heard nothing back since, haha. Got to love the guy's confidence - because I'm going to give out the numbers of all the single ladies I know to a guy I've never met or even seen a picture of. Classy as.
Previously known as Krystal Champagne

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #293 on: 15 March 2010, 02:57:01 pm »
Me: They don't date my clients either. If you want to pay for sex use adultwork.com, if you want free sex use match.com. Tbh it'll end up costing you either way. Hooking you up with freebies is not a service I provide.

Ha! Love this. ;D

What a knob!
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

Claudia

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #294 on: 15 March 2010, 05:36:42 pm »
This is nothing compared to these gems and I don't really know if it counts as booking attempt or what but I got this text yesterday night (around 4 AM)

Orangeee!!

That's it! ;D I have no idea what this means :-\

Alexa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #295 on: 15 March 2010, 06:31:49 pm »
Meant to post this a couple of days ago, last post just reminded me.

Got text at 0:57 am 'Are you free tonight'  (profile clearly states you need to get in touch before 10pm if you want early morn appointment so ignored it and attempted to go back to sleep - had to be up at 4am for flight so was far from unimpressed...)

1:49 am Same guy texts back, waking me up again. This time, in fluent Spanish. Which I don't speak a word of. French or German, yes. Spanish, no. Needless to say, the inconsiderate man won't be seeing me anytime soon... x
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.

Alexxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #296 on: 17 March 2010, 08:43:09 pm »
Got this yesterday:
I'm 26 when you free to ride my dick.

Erm, never. Idiot.


Alexxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #297 on: 17 March 2010, 08:46:21 pm »
Do U av msn. Lke big cocked toi bois.

Where do I start with this one? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Some days I have to stop myself from stamping on the phone. So many dickheads, so little time......lol x

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #298 on: 18 March 2010, 12:21:58 am »
Oh Miss Alex! Ive made a text template for just that sort of enquiry.
It says, "Is this a game? Are we playing 'Who's that w*nker?"  ;D
Im dying to use it!
find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

sophleeds24

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #299 on: 22 March 2010, 01:17:33 pm »
Oh, looks like I complained about it being quiet too soon...

"hi babe am 15 n have a gf but she wunt let me do her up the bum cud i do u for 30 quid?"

!!!

I just don't know where to start.