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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2587520 times)

xxxtinyxxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #210 on: 12 February 2010, 11:11:58 pm »
Well amongst time wasters today, i have had 4 text messages all from the same person:

1. Where can i meet you?

2. Can i please have details?

3. No reply.

4. How do i get you attention?

My answer F*CKIN TRY CALLING ME.

As my advert states NO TEXT MESSAGES in bloody CAPITAL LETTERS cant people read? Does make you wonder?  >:(

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
"Who care's what anyone say's...If you've got it...Flaunt it!!!!  :-*

Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #211 on: 13 February 2010, 04:57:09 pm »
Tiny,

Is it Daily Sport you're on? No, they don't (can't/ aren't bothered to) read. They see the number, scratch their crotch and call. I use Daily Sport when I travel and these are the times when you don't know whether to laugh or kill.

My ad is usually just a name (Ann/ Mary/ Cate) and number. Most people would assume that there'll be Ann/ Mary/ Cate only there, as compared to ads that say Duo/ Trio/ Dirty Teens/ Chester Street Sauna. Yet, the following is a script of what you get 30 times a day.

Him: Hello. How many girls do you have there?
Me (already vexed): How many does the ad promise?
Him: Dunno, doesn't say there, there's only this number.
Me: Yes, there is something else there. Open the newspaper.
Pages rustling.
Him (surprised): Yeah! It says Cate here! Wow, haven't noticed that before! So, Cate, how many girls do you have there?

Not only don't they read, they don't listen either. The ones that do seem to notice the name, ask for details.
Me: I'm [a leggy busty blonde] and I'm based in [Dreamgirl City]. (It's annoying how you can't capitalise I to stress it!)
Him: Is the girl Polish?
Me: What girl???
Him: The one you're talking about. Or do you have other girls there?

At some point you just give up and hang up. In this thread, someone (can't remember who, sorry) has mentioned downing a bottle of vodka to arrange as many girls as desired. May be they should give one free with every copy of the Sport?
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #212 on: 13 February 2010, 07:20:28 pm »
I don't know the logistics of putting an ad in the paper as a (touring?) escort, but could you fit in INDEPENDANT ESCORT at all? Would it make any difference? (Of course, you should also be putting HI KLASS in there, too, in order to attract only the most preferable Daily Sport-reading clientele. ;D) But, back to the slightly-more-serious-question, do you think the readers would get the whole 'she's independent and therefore not working out of the bathroom of a 2-bed flat stuffed with girls' or whatever they seem to think is going on? Or do all the ads say something similar without necessarily meaning it?
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xxxtinyxxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #213 on: 13 February 2010, 09:29:21 pm »
Hello,

I used to advertise in the Daily Sport a long time ago but gave up for a little while so stopped. I advertise in the yellow paper now as i don't have much luck with the DS, i now have a box advert so can fit more it eg: No Withheld Numbers/Text Messages. I have worked in this industry for many years now and have never had as many timewasters as i have had over the last year. I just think its so amusing, i had a call today asking how much i was, i wasn't sure if he meant me as a person forever or just an appointment, well my answer of course was absolutely priceless!!!!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx


"Who care's what anyone say's...If you've got it...Flaunt it!!!!  :-*

Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #214 on: 13 February 2010, 09:40:48 pm »
Emily,

Have you never used Daily Sport? Gosh, you've missed a lot of fun! But seriously, if I started telling you about the intricacies of advertising with them, that would take a new thread and then all others could contribute - I'm sure there's plenty to say. But my point was that, as Tiny wondered, people don't really pay attention to what you say in the ad, capital letters or not, and I picked up these examples as it seems like most men have this fantasy of a flat packed with girls just waiting for them to come. And, of course, as it's been pointed out before in this thread, they can't help themselves if they are not very bright. These ones are the most grateful though, pleasure to work with.

But then, of course, it depends on where you are - in bigger places men seem to have more experience with reading ads. In small towns, where the only thing they ever had was a parlour that closed 3 years ago, of course this is what they'll think you are.

And Tiny (love your nick)

Yeah, I've had this question quite a few times, and I noticed it's used in the north, never heard it in the south. At first, I thought they were just rude, but then I realised that's their way of asking how much you charge (although I still consider it very rude).

As for timewasters, I think we all noticed it in the past year, it probably has something to do with this recession everyones seems to be talking about. They can't afford to come anymore, but can still afford to call. Sorry, I know this post is not relevant to this thread.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #215 on: 14 February 2010, 02:07:44 am »
"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Amazing how some idiots think they can just up and name a fucking price without consulting us  >:(

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #216 on: 14 February 2010, 05:32:37 am »
My latest nominations for the Darwin Awards this year:

Idiot 1."hey wassup, got you on escort, we havin a kinda of stag nite, n lookin 4 stripper n fun girl let us nknow if interested"
Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"

Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #217 on: 14 February 2010, 11:32:18 am »

Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"


Violette,

Aren't you lucky! I never thought of it this way! We can have our houses cleaned, our gardens pruned, our cars serviced, our food cooked, and all for free! Remind me again, why do we have to pay rent and bills? Can't this be arranged, too?
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #218 on: 14 February 2010, 03:24:24 pm »
Yes im all for that idea. It would only take a couple of hours to pay my rather alarming electricty bill!
Had a nice text from a man recently offering me his service as a butcher for some unfathomable reason by way of payment. I declined!
find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #219 on: 14 February 2010, 06:49:07 pm »

Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"


Violette,

Aren't you lucky! I never thought of it this way! We can have our houses cleaned, our gardens pruned, our cars serviced, our food cooked, and all for free! Remind me again, why do we have to pay rent and bills? Can't this be arranged, too?

Yes indeed, I replied saying to the effect, I am an escort and the only arrangement I am interested in is a financial one, he didn't dare to text back. Bless.

UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #220 on: 15 February 2010, 12:32:35 am »
Can you believe some fag asked me to go meet him at the bookstore? For a split second I was about to say yes, as meeting at a public place on a date is perfectly fine, but not on business! And its not ok to meet your date at their place on the 1st date..they are completely different things.

So I said no...twice. I said he could come to me if he didnt feel comfortable. Then, he said he'd go home and call me when he got there. Hadn't heard from him and its an hour and a half late.

I told him, "ok..any fucking body can say come meet them at the bookstore and I show up there looking like an ass. C'mon, who do I look like?

amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #221 on: 15 February 2010, 07:05:16 pm »
Ten minutes ago:

Bloke who can't read
: am sorry to txt u like this but really need some company

Me: go to the pub then


Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #222 on: 15 February 2010, 08:41:08 pm »
Amy,

He probably WAS in the pub when texting you. The more they drink, the more company they want.

I love this thread! It never fails to make you feel better!
I'm great in bed! I can sleep for days!

UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #223 on: 16 February 2010, 01:56:19 am »
One thing that irritates me is people who call me, during the daytime on a weekday when my minutes aren't free...calling me asking questions that are right in front of their face, and then say some stupid shit like, "Ok, I'll call you back".

Today, I had to tell a guy off. He tried that line with me after asking several questions which I answered, "its on my ad"...kept pausing, so finally I said, "look mother fucker...youre using up my god damn daytime minutes with this nonsense. You don't sound sure about what you want, or what time you want to meet, so don't call me back until you are sure!"

The other day, some guy did the same thing while I was dining at a Greek resturaunt...I ended up having a fit in front of my friend while at lunch and had to apologize for venting in the resturaunt  :P

I'm telling you, its those idiots from craigslist. Those are the ones giving me the most issues, closeted, ignorant faggots. Perhaps I should just forward all calls from craigslist to voicemail  ::)
« Last Edit: 16 February 2010, 01:58:51 am by American J »

anonymoussw

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #224 on: 16 February 2010, 05:20:13 am »
"look mother fucker...youre using up my god damn daytime minutes with this nonsense. You don't sound sure about what you want, or what time you want to meet, so don't call me back until you are sure!"

Do you pay to receive calls over there?
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling