Returned to work this week after a couple months off and already want to take another holiday!
Idiot one: first text: hi are you full sub? anal? facefucking? faceslapping? where u based?
second text three minutes after: is there ?40 knocked off all your rates? if so I'll have 30 mins
me- All questions are covered on my profile. No, the special offer is for 15 minutes only.
Next texts all a few minutes apart:
him- okay just wanted to double check u do those. would u honour the deal for a 30 minute booking?
him- can u book me in for 6 if thats the case
him- u would not regret it or forget me anytime soon

also u can be my regular sub if ur frequently avaliable (right, because no one has ever tried that.)
me- the offer is for 15 mins only.
him- np i'd like to spend a bit more time and cum more than once
him- unless u will do it for 60 thats all the cash i have on me right now
me- my rates are shown on my profile, I can no longer accept you as a client and suggest you find someone cheaper
him- ok sorry xx
Idiot 2:
text 1: I see you upped the price on your special offer, would you be willing to book me in at the old rate?
I agreed as he'd been trying to book me for a while before I took time off.
text 2: is it okay to give u oral in a 15 min booking? just love giving oral
me- I don't recieve oral in a 15 minute booking.
him- is it a naked service?
me- no
-stopped responding, all these then sent a couple mins apart:
him- topless? postcode?
him- u free now?
him- im 10 mins away, free now?
him- ??
him- what time u free?
him- tried calling
idiot 3: Cancelled four minutes before he was due.
idiot 4: cancelled six minutes before he was due.
Idiot 5- Hi are you free now?
me- Yes, i'm free until 5.30
him- okay, can I book the special? I can get there for 4.50
--arranges it/sends details etc
4.50 comes and goes...text at 5.19- Hi, sorry about this I will be there for 6.
..er..no you wont! I already told you I was free until half 5 not afterwards, you didn't bother to let me know what was going on and even if I was still free I wouldn't be seeing you!
Idiot 6: Arrives, goes upstairs, I say let's get buisness out the way. 'Checks' his pockets, 'left' his card in the car (I take card payments now? I didn't know this.) and says he will go get it from the car. Didn't expect him to come back and I was right. My first ever walk out. What fun that one was.
Idiot 7: Calls and asks if there's discounts on 30 min and one hour bookings. (Where do I say
anywhere there is?! I don't!)
Idiot 8: Do u do anal?? do u swallow?? do u french kiss with tongue?? (I thought that's what french kiss meant

) Is there anything u dont do??
Idiot 9: My first ever one wanting reassurance about sti's. Repeatedly. Ugh.
Idiot 10: 9 calls in 47 minutes. God forbid I'm busy working!
Plus the three no shows.
All within the first two days of returning to work.
