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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2656054 times)

Fallingstar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #105 on: 30 October 2009, 09:38:40 am »
I think its safe to say that Joey is right and this thread has well and truly given us all a place to rant. I think Ive now amassed enough examples to put into the upcoming book I'm secretly writing about you all ;)

Email on AW for me this morning.
'I am a professional 32 year old man with a (not that unusual i think) fetish of loving to fondle beautiful women's worn underwear. I was wondering if i could acquire a pair of your used knickers? I would of course be happy to reimburse you the cost of them. I was wondering if you had a spare 5 minutes tomorrow where i can pop round to your incall place and purchase a pair from you?' I will pay you for your time used if required'

So basically you want to pop round to my flat,get an eyeful of what i look like,speak to me and find out my address. But you can do it all on the cheap under the ruse of just wanting a pair of knickers so therefore avoiding paying my going rate for a booking?

Or maybye I'm being cynical and i should flog him my George at Asda knickers for ?80 under the guise of them being Agent Provocateur ;D
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Carla

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #106 on: 30 October 2009, 10:39:23 am »
Quote from: Abby on 28 October 2009, 11:41:58 am
'I want sex. I have no money but I do have a laptop with windows 7 on it - you know - the new one. You can have it for sex.'
it.

Hahahahaha HA!!! OH MY GODDDDDDD! Crying here!

So I took my site down about two weeks ago, and immediately received a flurry of emails (was curious and checked my email account) begging or negotiating for one last shag from people who had written literally a year ago, and when I had initially replied, they had just ignored my request for them to call me.

Oh, you want me to reply now you know I am not working? And you are going to book an appointment for real are you, yes? Not just trying to see if you have the sexual prowess to make a non-working escort start working again, are you? ARGH!
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #107 on: 30 October 2009, 12:30:45 pm »
Not crying as heard it all before. But must admit spat my tea out!  ;D
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #108 on: 31 October 2009, 07:17:43 am »
Quote from: cindy on 30 October 2009, 12:30:45 pm
Not crying as heard it all before. But must admit spat my tea out!  ;D
I've stopped drinking tea, when reading the boards. Or eating chips/crisps, cookies/biscuits, it is just hazardous for my keyboards. ::)
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cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #109 on: 01 November 2009, 03:22:02 am »
Quote from: Abby on 30 October 2009, 09:28:08 am
Vista? Not around here Joey! I have one of the last high spec Dell's they made with regular old Windows XP/office/whatever you darn well call it, on it and I would not swap it, not for anything!
My friend has Vista and you want to hear her moan about it! Flip.
x


Initially Vista was a pain when I first got it, but once I had worked out most of how it operates I love it and wouldn't go back.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #110 on: 02 November 2009, 01:29:03 am »
LOL!

Had a phone call Saturday evening, youngish guy, asking pretty valid questions, told him I couldn't see him tonight, then arghhh.
Him: How much is your over night fee?

Me:(Groan) ?900

Him: What if I give you ?1200 for a 1 hour shag?

Me: Sorry no - (Click)

 ::)
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #111 on: 02 November 2009, 01:36:27 am »
Ha ha. Had a call a couple of days ago myself asking relavent questions then foiled his plan by asking if I enjoyed my job. He got a click off me too.  ;D
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find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

Fallingstar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #112 on: 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am »
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(

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anonymoussw

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #113 on: 13 November 2009, 09:22:52 am »
Quote from: Colette on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

LOL!
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If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
"if" - Rudyard Kipling

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #114 on: 13 November 2009, 09:50:58 am »
Just priceless.
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #115 on: 13 November 2009, 03:05:42 pm »
Today email from Adultwork.
"Hi,
I would like to start seeing somebody on a regular basis but there are not very many pics of you.
If you can give me the pin number for your private gallery it will help me decide."
x
Hmmmmmm. How about NO?!
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find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #116 on: 14 November 2009, 12:07:14 am »
Got a text:

Hi, I know u said no text i am shy & a bit on the submisive side like being held by strong legs &thigs can u help mark.

Well since I don't relpy to texts - no!
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #117 on: 14 November 2009, 11:07:43 pm »
My fav of the week, a text:

 Hi i am lookin 4 a 4 days booking if u can do it tex me and i'll call u i well pay u 8,000?  Patel xx


 I love that he put the little text comma in the 8000, so it would look all super official and serious :)
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xxxtinyxxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #118 on: 15 November 2009, 06:10:27 pm »
Hello Everyone,

I recently had a text asking me "How much would you charge me to squat over your face and fart in your mouth?"
WTF!!!!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
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"Who care's what anyone say's...If you've got it...Flaunt it!!!!  :-*

UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #119 on: 16 November 2009, 03:13:41 am »
Quote from: xxxtinyxxx on 15 November 2009, 06:10:27 pm
Hello Everyone,

I recently had a text asking me "How much would you charge me to squat over your face and fart in your mouth?"
WTF!!!!

oooo, no he didnt! I would of cursed his ass out. That is so disrespectful. And if he did it in person he'd be out the door
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