Recently booked an apartment for the weekend - had on my website available from 12pm - 11pm both days. Anyway, woke up for a wee at 7.30am and saw the phone flashing (turn it on to silent at night).

It went like this

anon: Are you free now?

Me on toilet! no not till 12 as my profile says.

anon: but i need a f*ck now (such a turn on)

Me bites lip (probably still a bit drunk so saw the funny side) but I'm not working till 12

anon: I'm in work at 9 then can I come now?

Me: I start at 12, no

anon: Please. I'm desparate

me: Look I'll put this another way, can you come at 9.15am

anon: No I'm at work then

me: well why don't you go to work at 8?

anon: i don't start work till 9

me: Would you go to work at 8 if I asked you?

anon: no, why?

me: so why the f*ck are you asking me to work at 9 when I don't start 'till 12?

anon: sorry to have bothered you

am i being to nasty? lol

Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!! 

Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!! 

this is surely a contender for a gold medal on how NOT to book an escort.................

DO NOT REVERSE THE CHARGES AND EXPECT ME TO PAY FOR THE CALL!!!

Twice I hung up after hearing this is a reverse charge call and twice he failed to get the hint and has rung again - seriously, reversing the charges on the phonecall