Him: I can't be bothered to text you anymore so want to know when you're working as you text and said all over the weekend
Me: Yes I am working tomorrow and Sunday over the weekend
Him: (In a deadly serious tone) well that's not the whole weekend and therefore is false advertising
Me: (in shock otherwise would have replied with something witty) I apologise for misleading
Him: I want a HJ so tell me what times you are working. I can't give you any notice so you'll have to be ready
Me: I'm sorry but cannot forsee exactly what I will be doing at every precise second of the weekend but will be watching F1 so not working while that's on
Him: Fine, just wank me while it's on
Me: I don't think you understand me, I want to watch it. Call me over the weekend
Am sitting here now waiting for a call from Trading Standards about my false advertising.
