Phone call:
Him 'hello I seen you last week in (the strippers I go to) and you gave me your number, are you free for an incall?'
Me 'no I didn't and no I'm Outcalls only today'
Text from same person:
Him 'I'm sure I was talking to you last night I was meant too meet you outside dixy chicken! X'
Me 'you have me mistaken for someone else'
Him 'OK'

Like what the actual fuck? I think this must be someone I know having me on

Him: Hello - I came 2 u a while ago and I believe we had a mutually enjoyable session and that u enjoyed my body. I am thinking of coming again perhaps next Friday and was wondering whether u would consider a discount?

Me: No sorry.

Then BLOCK

Haha that made me laugh, some guys are so deluded 

do you want to fuck??

(no... i want alll your money and give me a back rub..... geez.....)

Does the famous call and hang up to see if your phone is on. Then sends texts:
"Is that you in the sexy pic?"
Proceeded by,
"I want us to have sex"

I was going to respond with my "Oh sorry I am unavailabe but you are welcomed to fuck my husband, he is bi and will love your cock, he has a very tight ass and makes it wet by shitting a little" That ok?" But then thought, argh, he clearly just wants a response so think I'll just leave it.

Another one called, mumbled something about condom, he was breaking up so asked him to repeat himself, he just hung up. It's exhausting when this is what you are faced with first thing in the morning. Not a good start to my day. Think I'm about to crack open a bottle of mulled wine now. Goodbye diet. Anyone want some? I'm sending it virtually. Here. Cheers! Drink up ladies. sigh!

By email and text! "hi k notts sex richard xx"

And one from AW,

"i'm interested in a meet where after a short massage you and i play with your pussy and tits. the meet is more a focus on you as it's a turn-on for me to see a girl wanking and sucking her tits & my cock. intercourse may be just a few minutes at the end
 
so that you can make an informed decision i'm 60 years old of indian origin with a cut cock.

i can't use my i-phone to make the appointment as all modern phones record calls and text numbers (in memory & bills) because i don't want my partner to find out so if we are to meet then you'll need to use and give me details through aw email system please."

Buy a phone with credit already on it then muppet!

By email and text! "hi k notts sex richard xx"

And one from AW,

"i'm interested in a meet where after a short massage you and i play with your pussy and tits. the meet is more a focus on you as it's a turn-on for me to see a girl wanking and sucking her tits & my cock. intercourse may be just a few minutes at the end
 
so that you can make an informed decision i'm 60 years old of indian origin with a cut cock.

i can't use my i-phone to make the appointment as all modern phones record calls and text numbers (in memory & bills) because i don't want my partner to find out so if we are to meet then you'll need to use and give me details through aw email system please."

Buy a phone with credit already on it then muppet!

He wants you to wank your tits?! That does not sound pleasurable

got my phone on as doing calls and cam tonight, and i get this text

hi bb.  seen ur pix and ur sexy.  really want to do a sex wee on ur titts.  how much?

ho long since avid merrion was on telly now?  sex wee?  really?

Hahaha  what on earth is a sex wee and how do we kill it! X