a photo of him from waste down

I think the waste goes both directions with that one.

I think the waste goes both directions with that one.

lol good spin

and I need to brush up on my spelling lol "waist"

Hi Sam,

I would love for you to be dressed in a brightly coloured business suit (flared, pleated short skirt if possible) with black stockings, suspenders, and the highest heels you can walk in. No panties of course and a freshly shaved pussy.
I would enter your premises where you would order me to strip naked. I would then show you numerous photos my wife has taken of me in humiliating situations. Some of the photos are of me with a dressed cock with pretty ribbons, bells, and girly hairbands. You are intriqued, and ask me to dress in a similiar fashion. You then attach a collor and lead and drag me around the house. I must then beg for a least five minutes on camera how much I want to drink from a doggie bowl which you have filled with your own special champagne.
You have purchased a posh cupcake form a local shop which has some special cream that I have provided. You then order me on camera to again beg for at least 5 minutes before I must eat it.
All props can be provided (except for the the cupcake). Hope the above is not too alternative. If you have a friend who wishes to watch that would add to my humiliation.
I am a smart attractive slim middle aged businessman looking for a bit of fun.
Is the above something you would consider? Hope to hear from you soon.


HAHAHAHA this has to be the most specific booking I have ever had.

Tell him that for a grand, I'll be the friend who watches 

Ok this is not something specific, but rather something I get very often....

The guys who have clearly seen my website but still ask "What are your rates?" . I don't mean the genuine guys who might say "Can you clarify the rate for one hour?" or "That will be ?xxx?" , but the ones who are actually getting you to tell them the rates in case you quote something cheaper on the phone. grrrrrrrrrr!

I had one tonight who asked rates - I told him - He said "oh I wasn't looking to pay that much"  
I actually asked him "Did you know the rate but call anyway just to see if I would quote you a lower price?"   i know I shouldn't but he was just soooo annoying! He actually admitted it sheepishly. bwahahahahaaha!

Least I get a laugh   although it does annoy the hell out of me, especially since business is quiet just now.

Email yesterday from a man who had booked to see me this Friday for 2 hours and has being emailing me long, ridiculous, vom-inducing, flowery emails. Rather as if he actually REALLY believed we would be meeting for some sensual joining of  of bodies and minds . Frankly he has being very irritating but thought I would tolerate it for the money.

'Hello Simone, I'm afraid I wont be able to make the meeting on Friday. My brother who lives in (la la land) has has several heart attacks (several?? lucky hes actually still alive then!!) and I am having to travel down to look after him for the week.'

I'm pretty sure there's a precise mathematical equation that shows the more a client texts/emails/calls before his appointment (beyond the standard first call and expected confirmation call, of course) the dramatically less likely he is to show up.

Or maybe these long-winded blokes are trying to put us through our paces - if we can't keep up with them and send even more passionate, arousing and floral emails back then they won't deign to give us their business!

But since I'd prefer a straightforward booking over poetry-reading and romantic eye-gazing any day, I think I'm better off giving the floral stuff a miss. Count your blessings, Simone!

Once or twice when a excess-texter does come to see me I'll give them a friendly hint about this behaviour, the response is that they think it shows they are keen and genuine. Have had one or two ring and ask me why another lady has been funny with them. Oh dear.

That's just utterly hilarious that somebody would ring you and ask why another escort is ignoring them. Do they think that we are all part of a nationwide prossie collective sending signals to each other in the night time like batman? I can just imagine somebody sitting at home thinking 'Sarah from west Yorkshire isn't answering my 45th email about how much I'm looking forward to kissing her from head to toe. I know what I will do, I will ring Strawberry and ask her why, she is bound to know '

Oh and this little nugget from yesterday. Guy who apparently I have seen before but I don't recall at all rings me.

Him: 'Could I book a 2 hour duo with you and Amy (My duo partner) for Thursday please'
Me: Yes that should be fine.
Him: How much?
Me: For 2 hours in will be ?210 to each lady.
Him: (Voice going amazingly high pitched like a smurf being strangled in a vat of wine) Whattttt??? I thought it was ?210 for the both of you. Your webpage says ?110 per hour!!!??!!
Me: (As patiently as I could muster) 'No that's the rate for a single girl booking, for a duo you have to double the price as you are paying to see 2 girls'
Him: (In a slightly peeved voice as if Its my fault he had just been denied the chance to have 2 cute girls fawn all over him for 2 hours for impossibly low prices) 'Oh well in that case I will just have to book an hour, I cant possibly afford that much money, I have to say though I'm a little bit disappointed'

Your disappointed you cant get 2 girls for 2 hours for ?55 each an hour? Gosh my heart is bleeding, guess us escorts are just getting greedier and greedier

This just in on aw (of course):

hiya bbe, love ur profile.are free for an incall today @1pm? how much is 30mins? would it be ok to do it without as I'm, allergic to condoms?

1st of all... I'm not even working today
2nd of all... I don't offer 30 mins
3rd of all... I don't even know where to start with the bb thing!

Request Denied.

xx