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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664595 times)

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #495 on: 25 June 2010, 05:45:31 pm »
What a cheeky bugger! "I will pay for dinner and breakfast." I could save the cab fare and have a pot noodle at home thanks.
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April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #496 on: 26 June 2010, 06:20:38 pm »
I got this text today:

'will pay ?30 for any body off beautiful girl"

Should I send him some toenail clippings?  ;D
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Ms Rubens

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #497 on: 26 June 2010, 11:08:15 pm »
Quote from: April on 26 June 2010, 06:20:38 pm
I got this text today:

'will pay ?30 for any body off beautiful girl"

Should I send him some toenail clippings?  ;D

Gosh that sounds a bit creepy!  Is he looking for people to dig up fresh graves?   ::)
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Lucy Chambers

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #498 on: 27 June 2010, 02:42:38 am »
get this..

"Lucy, I am available sunday, please confirm you can do 8pm for half an hour?"

A) I am free at that time, would you like to book?"

"Yes."

6 hours later...I  want you to dress up, have you got sexy secretary?"

"yes. send a email, I will confirm"

"But i need to be sure. Have you got pinstripe trousers, boxy square toed heels and a white, preferably linen blouse?"

No. I gave up trousers when I gave up 9-5? I have a short pinstripe skirt, white blouse, seemed stockings and heels"

"Could you not buy them?"


Hello..?

You are not replying,,,i have located trousers for you. If you need the id tag it is primark stores id.."


Need I say more? :P
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #499 on: 27 June 2010, 07:41:49 am »
Oh im sure we all get those ones. Book a couple of days in advance and then text you 20 mins before the booking.
"Will you wear a nuns outfit with green suspenders?" WTF?! If he buys it no problem! They must think we will run out to a fancy dress shop and La Senza on a moments notice. Oh no, wait they dont think!
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sammy s

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #500 on: 27 June 2010, 10:36:31 am »
For god sake lol. Do men really think we have a fancy dress wardrobe bursting to the seams with every kind of costume possible?!

I had a client last week who WHEN HE ARRIVED asked if id mind slipping into a cowgirl outfit to ride him.
When I told him I didnt have such an outfit his reply was "oh I see... all other escorts have one." (In an extremely huffy voice)

ALL of them have a cowgirl outfit? Have you personally met with every escort in the world and checked?
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Cherrylips

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #501 on: 27 June 2010, 11:46:01 am »
I had a client a while ago who wanted maids outfit.  Ok I thought and ordered one online.  I told him I didnt have one but had ordered one and hopefully it would arrive by the time we met.  It did.  Answered door in said outfit.  Said to client: "It just arrived this morning so that was good timing!"
Client:  "Oh I was just kidding about the outfit." 
WTF!!!   >:(   >:(    I dressed up like a fool and you were kidding???!!!

Few weeks ago different client.  "Bring a couple of outfits" 
Me:  I only have one - maid's outfit.
Him: Ok bring that.
Get to app.
Me: "Shall I change into outfit now?"
Him: "Nah its ok"
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #502 on: 27 June 2010, 04:24:36 pm »
My last two good reviews were written when I overslept and answered the door in my dressing gown anyway.  ::)
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strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #503 on: 27 June 2010, 04:59:31 pm »
Quote from: Cherrylips on 27 June 2010, 11:46:01 am
I had a client a while ago who wanted maids outfit.  Ok I thought and ordered one online.  I told him I didnt have one but had ordered one and hopefully it would arrive by the time we met.  It did.  Answered door in said outfit.  Said to client: "It just arrived this morning so that was good timing!"
Client:  "Oh I was just kidding about the outfit." 
WTF!!!   >:(   >:(    I dressed up like a fool and you were kidding???!!!

Few weeks ago different client.  "Bring a couple of outfits" 
Me:  I only have one - maid's outfit.
Him: Ok bring that.
Get to app.
Me: "Shall I change into outfit now?"
Him: "Nah its ok"

I have distinct suspicions this is either a simple 'control' thing or case of client thinking he wants one thing, then changing his mind last minute.

Whilst a few really do have certain fetishes, quite a few do also have a very 'ingrained' idea of what 'is' sexy.
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #504 on: 27 June 2010, 05:15:59 pm »
Quote from: strawberry on 27 June 2010, 04:59:31 pm
Whilst a few really do have certain fetishes, quite a few do also have a very 'ingrained' idea of what 'is' sexy.

God, it's so common! Clients think they want something porny but actually find they can't ejaculate until we give in and do some intimate missionary, or lose their hard-on when I coquettishly ask if they'd like to come on my tits and can't get hard again until we get back to gentle kisses and stroking etc. I mean, of course, plenty of guys do know what they enjoy sexually and why and how, and they are brilliant clients as I find we both tend to end up very satisfied. But the ones who start hemming and hawing and could I do a little outfit change or put on a corset or do a sexy dance? Okay, but I think it's only going to show you how funny it looks having a woman (who is untrained like me) do a 'sexy' little dance for you and laughing is great but does not necessarily = orgasms!
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #505 on: 27 June 2010, 08:15:36 pm »
I have seen it so many times, when I through the full on Violette experience at them, some poor men's dicks just shrink up and leave the building. They think they want the full on porn star experience, but even pop a vibrator in there and they start pulling the covers up and wanting to turn the lights off and make love, in missionary. I was tempted to ask one gent if he want me to lay there and pretend to be asleep, because overtime I moved it throw him off his stroke.
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Lucy Chambers

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #506 on: 27 June 2010, 08:30:55 pm »
Well, its sunday at 8.31 pm. And guess who's 8pm booking didn't come in? Bloody good thing I didn't dash off to primark, eh?
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #507 on: 29 June 2010, 11:41:54 pm »
Just now, 11:30pm.

RING RING
Me: Hello.
Him: Hi, Anika, I saw you in the paper.
Me: You mean in a magazine?
Him: No on the internet.
Me: You saw me in a paper on the internet?
Him: Yes I saw your number mumble mumble.
Me: Sorry you're going to have to keep your mouth next to the microphone.
Him: I got your number and I wanted to find out when we could meet.
Me: Wait I still want to know how you found me in a paper on the internet.
Him: Sorry I just found you on the internet.
Me: So not in a paper?
Him: Yes it's just strange calling someone up like this I don't know what to say.
Me: Ok, I just have to ask because a lot of people call me from an ad in a magazine where I was listed without permission and they haven't read my website. So have you read my website?
Him: No I haven't read it.
Me: Ok well I suggest you go back and read it and then we'll all be happier.
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Miss Bond ;)

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #508 on: 30 June 2010, 03:48:05 am »
Hehe this really is one of those threads where  I wish there was a 'LIKE' button as on Facebook. You guys have really made me chuckle.


I have some sploshing requests coming up soon, but I am too tired from laughing to tell you all just now. Just wanted to say thank you!!!!!


xxxx ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D still laughing  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D it's all sooooo true
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #509 on: 30 June 2010, 08:55:40 am »
Quote from: Anika Mae on 29 June 2010, 11:41:54 pm
Me: Wait I still want to know how you found me in a paper on the internet.

Bahahaha. ;D
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