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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2656003 times)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3735 on: 27 November 2012, 09:46:43 pm »
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 27 November 2012, 09:45:14 pm
Me three, which is weird because I'm not in the same area as you guys I don't think!

He just wants a video with our friends laughing at "his" undies. I might just do one for general viewing :D
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RedLady1991

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3736 on: 29 November 2012, 06:32:52 am »
Me = having bad night's sleep, just doses off again at 6.30 am.
*work phone rings* (forgot to turn it off damnit)
Pick up even though it's withheld! (sleep deprivation made brain loopy? Only explanation!)

"hi, you free now?"
me (sounding obviously sleepy): " um no not till 9am, sorry"
"not until 9?"
Me: "yeah sorry"
"are you sure? I just finished work"
Me: "yes Im sure *insert light hearted giggle while in my head thinking wtf?!*
"if you're sure then I'll try and stay up till 9, are you sure you don't do earlier?"

Me:*facepalm*


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WelshieGirly

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3737 on: 29 November 2012, 10:09:14 am »
Text this morning:

Can you do a quick one for 20 as i cum real quick

Considering on my profile it says calls only and no haggling that would be a no.
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ilovedots

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3738 on: 29 November 2012, 11:54:54 am »
Subject:   Escorting Today

Hi,

36/m nr your town, have never used an escort before but get more and more tempted. Off work this afternoon but wondered if you fancied a chat, profile seemed interesting, and as much about you enjoying as me, which I like.

Have messenger if you want to chat there?

 :FF
 
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Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.

JulietteTV

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3739 on: 29 November 2012, 10:23:50 pm »
Quote from: Daisy_ on 29 November 2012, 08:25:25 pm
Man on the phone asks if he can make an appointment for today. I tell him yes, I just need a few hours to get ready (as I always do) so could arrange a booking for 8:30.

"Fantastic" he says, "i'll call you back at 8 and make a booking".

y u no understand!

I know I can never get it why they don't appreciate what making a 'booking' actually means! 'Organising a piss-up in a brewery' springs to mind, if it wasn't so painful it would be funny!
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Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3740 on: 30 November 2012, 01:55:59 am »
Quote from: Juliette on 29 November 2012, 10:23:50 pm
Quote from: Daisy_ on 29 November 2012, 08:25:25 pm
Man on the phone asks if he can make an appointment for today. I tell him yes, I just need a few hours to get ready (as I always do) so could arrange a booking for 8:30.

"Fantastic" he says, "i'll call you back at 8 and make a booking".

y u no understand!

I know I can never get it why they don't appreciate what making a 'booking' actually means! 'Organising a piss-up in a brewery' springs to mind, if it wasn't so painful it would be funny!

Round here the phrase is "couldn't organize a shag in a brothel" which seems very apt!
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Miss Moneypenny

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3741 on: 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm »
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!
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RedLady1991

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3742 on: 30 November 2012, 12:50:50 pm »
"generally speaking im mostly clean.which is why owo shouldn't be a problem"

Generally speaking?? Mostly clean?? ???
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orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3743 on: 30 November 2012, 04:56:05 pm »
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.






Probably a prosthesis penis! His is 2 "








13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!
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Jan10

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3744 on: 30 November 2012, 05:01:47 pm »
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!


They are so annoying when they say that. I usually ask them if they have mistaken that for the size of their head.
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Hello nice to meet you :)

Kimmy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3745 on: 30 November 2012, 05:22:45 pm »
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!

Even if he was telling the truth I'd have denied the booking anyway on the basis of him claiming to have a 13 incher, I dont fancy the sore fanny afterwards  ;D
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orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3746 on: 30 November 2012, 07:40:55 pm »
They all think we want a 13" and love it hard and fast thrusting for ages!  ouch
Id walk like a cowboy in a western movie afterwards!
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meetingdiversity

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3747 on: 01 December 2012, 03:57:37 pm »
This guy who rang a minute ago is having a laugh, he thinks he can cum twice in 15 minutes. Now I have heard it all, this sure makes me happy. W hat is it with having common sense about his own body, I even know that it takes time to recover after.   Out of this situation I could have wound myself up but not today. An update... He phoned back ten minutes later saying the machine swallowed his card.
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Nora batty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3748 on: 01 December 2012, 04:03:25 pm »
2 times in 15 mins omg lol.  what a chancer!
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pussycat

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3749 on: 01 December 2012, 09:41:20 pm »
Just got this email.. ::)

Hi Jasmine, do you specialise in giving the most incredible and slow teasing blowjob? If yes when is the best time to make an appointment? Thanks and kind regards, john
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