10.22 this morning, phone rings.
Hugest chav that has EVER called me - 'AREET PET? I wanna come see you today'
Me - Shocked silence!
Chav - 'Whey. D'ya speak or what?
Me (Shaking my head!) - Yes. Can I help?
Chav - I wanna see you. Time y'vailable?
Me - I'm sorry, I'm not available until next week now.
Chav - Ehhh? I'm back at work next week man pet!!!
Me - Again, shocked silence thinking 'twatweasel!'
Chav - Did ya hear is?
Me - I do apologise most profoundly if the death of a family member is an inconvienience to you but as I stated I won't be available.
Chav - Ah fuck, sorry pet....... Hangs up.......
Nope. No-one has passed on but was I chuff seeing him