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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2656370 times)

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2160 on: 13 January 2012, 04:39:14 pm »
It is insulting. I've been asked to supply Class A drugs, viagra and much more. Men are idiots.

 :-X
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EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2161 on: 13 January 2012, 10:06:52 pm »
Some girls will provide drugs and that is the problem. 

I've been asked on numerous occasions and they're always slightly disbelieving when I say I wouldn't know where to get them ::)
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2162 on: 14 January 2012, 02:06:05 am »
After a sporadic time over christmas, today I got busy.
I just saw a lovely HGV driver. After dropping him back off at his cab
(after doing all the security stuff, I do prior to any appointment)
I had a call from Declan in Ireland. He is based on the North/South border.
He (allegedly) gets over to Manchester. I'm just north of London, so my 'Dubious Alarm' vibrates.
He found my number in the back of an old Exchange & Mart mag (ask your dad)
I said that went pop, 3 or 4 years ago.  ('Dubious Alarm' vibrating at a higher pitch)
Anyway, after giving my fee and service details (20 seconds)
he says:
"Can I do a wank call, to keep me going?"

'No, I have to hang up, so I can post your request on an Escort-only website, for everyone's amusement'  :o
I hang up, with him still chirping away.
Happy River. It's been a good day.   :)
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 08:42:19 pm by River »
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2163 on: 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am »
Recap.
Idiot wants a photo from Mellow,
saying a person wouldn't buy a puppy unseen.
I suggested a picture of a puppy is sent
Oriana runs with it by providing Mellow with a puppy-pic.
Quote from: Mellow on 13 January 2012, 08:10:46 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!
Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!
I saved him on my phone as 'PuppyIdiot'. Funniest thing is I get a voicemail from him at 11pm the other night saying:
I couldn't open the picture, something wrong with my phone....mumble...mumble.....I'd really like to meet you
He seriously thought I'd been sending him sexy pics not a sarcastic puppy pic
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2164 on: 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 13 January 2012, 08:42:35 am
Poor kid. I hope he gets his life a bit sorted soon, it sounds like he's destined to end up an abandoned corpse in a hotel room - all money and possessions stripped from him by whatever "ladies" he ends up booking - naked and dead with a massive viagra boner at this rate! Hopefully it's all just a silly fantasy though. Whew!
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed.
( Genuine question  :P )
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2165 on: 14 January 2012, 02:36:15 am »
Quote from: Miaken on 13 January 2012, 10:39:56 am
Do you girls consider it our responsibility to provide Viagra? I don't! I almost find it a bit insulting... telling someone "I wanna shag ya, but - christ - bring some viagra, luv!"
I look on clients who use Viagra when seeing Providers, as cheating!
Well it is , innit! (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/chin.gif)
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2166 on: 14 January 2012, 07:49:20 am »
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D

Classic Jodie!  The matter is in hand....updates to follow
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Oriana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2167 on: 14 January 2012, 10:07:56 am »
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am
Recap.
Idiot wants a photo from Mellow,
saying a person wouldn't buy a puppy unseen.
I suggested a picture of a puppy is sent
Oriana runs with it by providing Mellow with a puppy-pic.
Quote from: Mellow on 13 January 2012, 08:10:46 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!
Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!
I saved him on my phone as 'PuppyIdiot'. Funniest thing is I get a voicemail from him at 11pm the other night saying:
I couldn't open the picture, something wrong with my phone....mumble...mumble.....I'd really like to meet you
He seriously thought I'd been sending him sexy pics not a sarcastic puppy pic
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D

Oh, man, I am dying with laughter here. Well done!  ;D
Poor bloke will never again mention puppies!
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ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2168 on: 14 January 2012, 10:46:20 am »
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:36:15 am
Quote from: Miaken on 13 January 2012, 10:39:56 am
Do you girls consider it our responsibility to provide Viagra? I don't! I almost find it a bit insulting... telling someone "I wanna shag ya, but - christ - bring some viagra, luv!"
I look on clients who use Viagra when seeing Providers, as cheating!
Well it is , innit! (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/chin.gif)

It is cheating. and annoying. I don't want a client that lasts for twenty years *cringes at the prospect of pussy pain*  :-X
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2169 on: 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am »
Ok PuppyIdiot update......

I text the ad for the barking ringtones so kindly supplied by Jodie, which I was so sure he would adore

I get a text back saying STOP

So I respond with:

With pleasure, but just remember who started up with the puppy theme!

I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure
« Last Edit: 14 January 2012, 11:54:57 am by Mellow »
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LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2170 on: 14 January 2012, 12:44:20 pm »
Quote from: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am
Ok PuppyIdiot update......

I text the ad for the barking ringtones so kindly supplied by Jodie, which I was so sure he would adore

I get a text back saying STOP

So I respond with:

With pleasure, but just remember who started up with the puppy theme!

I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure

 ;D PRICELESS! That just cheered me up x
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MissThang

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2171 on: 14 January 2012, 01:34:11 pm »
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed. ( Genuine question  :P )

Hacksaw. Who's gonna check?  ;D
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EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2172 on: 14 January 2012, 03:32:47 pm »
Quote from: MissThang on 14 January 2012, 01:34:11 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed. ( Genuine question  :P )

Hacksaw. Who's gonna check?  ;D

 ;D

Quote from: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am
I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure

 ;D ;D
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2173 on: 14 January 2012, 08:33:06 pm »
Quote from: River on 14 January 2012, 02:06:05 am
I just saw a lovely HGV driver.

I later had this text from him:
Driver - Thank u very much for tonight c u soon..
Me - Thanks. It was lovely seeing you  Come back soon. x

Later I had a further message, which was useful as I'd just noticed something out of place in my bathroom.
Driver - I will why what u like to do with me xx
Me - Hand you your glasses back...
           You left them in my bathroom.
           Pick them up on your way back from (insert Nordic country )
           or give me an address to post them to.

Not my usual method of attracting repeat clients.  ::)
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 08:43:24 pm by River »
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ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2174 on: 14 January 2012, 08:52:10 pm »
Just recieved this one on AW. How odd...

'hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x'

 :-\
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