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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2675196 times)

Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #195 on: 08 February 2010, 08:01:09 am »
That has got to be the funniest post I have read in a long time. Jewel, what you say is so true, men are stupid, the poor loves can't help themselves. I too in the beginning use to get so frustrated. Until I realized it is best to treat all men like 2 year olds, until proven older. I don't exactly talk to them in a sing-songy voice, but it is close.  ::)
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Ella T

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #196 on: 08 February 2010, 09:42:38 am »

Sometimes the daftest conversations and questions from people can turn into genuine bookings. Some gents have even turned out to be so called 'high powered businessmen' with blue chip companies, and you think what? but you could barely string any coherent words together on the phone!

"you're not a psycho are you?"  - that's an absolute bloody corker though!

I also chuckled about getting them into your flat Jewel, because I am in a similar situation on the 2nd floor. Sometimes I have to stifle my amusement as they huff and puff when they get to my door - anyone would think that they've just followed Sherpa Tensing on a tricky ascent up Mount Everest. 

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anonymoussw

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #197 on: 08 February 2010, 10:05:18 am »
Quote from: Ella T on 08 February 2010, 09:42:38 am
"you're not a psycho are you?"  - that's an absolute bloody corker though!

Should have said

"Yes. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Then hung up
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LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #198 on: 09 February 2010, 05:05:26 pm »


I got one:


 "I was wondering if you offered swirling as a service? (when a guy has sex with a girl while her head is in a clean toilet).
Regards"


 Are you fucking kidding me!!  :o
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strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #199 on: 09 February 2010, 06:27:45 pm »
I had one some years back. Basically wanted me to nurse him whilst he was ill - idea was he'd get hold of a drug with emetic properties (ie will make you throw up) take it and I would have to help him to the bathroom, mop his brow etc.

No thank you.

Another request has been for Ass Smoothies. Had to look that one up and it isn't a milkshake.

Thirdly the good old "Do you do sex?" line. Yes it's an obvious question but not one to attract a WG to trust you. And the 3rd one - book a week in advance, confirm first thing on the day, get her to wear something by request, try the odd text detailing what you want to do to her during the appointment, confirm you have set off, ring to say you are held up but not far away at the end of a 1 hour drive, then disappear completely without trace. Amazing.
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #200 on: 09 February 2010, 06:40:10 pm »
Quote from: strawberry on 09 February 2010, 06:27:45 pm
And the 3rd one - book a week in advance, confirm first thing on the day, get her to wear something by request, try the odd text detailing what you want to do to her during the appointment, confirm you have set off, ring to say you are held up but not far away at the end of a 1 hour drive, then disappear completely without trace. Amazing.

That guy must have zoomed across the country cos I swear I heard from him today, too! But I cancelled on him after his sexting efforts. Was too worn out by the beautiful young fella who'd slipped in for a quickie. Ha! In your face, numpty timewasters! :P
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #201 on: 10 February 2010, 10:28:30 am »
Quote from: Evie on 09 February 2010, 05:05:26 pm


I got one:


 "I was wondering if you offered swirling as a service? (when a guy has sex with a girl while her head is in a clean toilet).
Regards"


 Are you fucking kidding me!!  :o

Thanks for the laugh. The image has me in hysterics on a train bound for Dublin, the passengers are looking at me funny. :D

Mine for the week, was some idiot who called blocked number, and when told to call back with number showing, says he is calling from his wife's phone.  I hung up!
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xxxtinyxxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #202 on: 11 February 2010, 10:37:20 pm »
Here's my list of crazy txt messages for the last 2 days:

1. Hi, i have seen your ad in paper, How much for a massage? Any availability this eve? Thanks,  P.S. I'm not an overweight lorry driver - am 34yrs and fairly fit.

2. Hi, i drive a small coach in your area, would i be able to have you on my coach or will i have to come to you?

3. Hi, i rang earlier, i am happy to come over. I don't know how to make this sound nice but is the girl a smackhead?

4. Would u do 6 in the morning?

5. Price?

6. Hi, i seen your ad in the paper, i didn't realise their would be so many ads, could you send me a pic so i can narrow it down to who i do and don't want to see? Thanks.

OMG!!!! What is wrong with people?  ::)


Hilarious!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
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"Who care's what anyone say's...If you've got it...Flaunt it!!!!  :-*

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #203 on: 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am »
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!

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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #204 on: 12 February 2010, 12:28:59 am »
Quote from: Alessia on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!


I'm guessing you're on Adultwork, aren't you?  ;D
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April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #205 on: 12 February 2010, 12:41:00 am »
Quote from: amy on 12 February 2010, 12:28:59 am
Quote from: Alessia on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!


I'm guessing you're on Adultwork, aren't you?  ;D

Yep, I'm loving the free late night entertainment!  :P
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #206 on: 12 February 2010, 01:51:53 am »
I guess it makes a change from "Do you like big black cocks?" routine.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #207 on: 12 February 2010, 08:28:27 am »
Quote from: cindy on 12 February 2010, 01:51:53 am
I guess it makes a change from "Do you like big black cocks?" routine.


Funny that you say. The other day I recieved an email from someone saying he wants to see me so I can satisfy his craving a big black cock as he's been working on a cruise for awhile.... ::)

I dont know whether to feel complimented or insulted  ???
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Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #208 on: 12 February 2010, 01:40:46 pm »
Received this text last night (I like it when they are laconic):

"F@ck me"

Guess what reply the poor bugger got? Yes, you can't go wrong here - "F@ck you!"

Well, he asked, it would be rude to turn him down.
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LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #209 on: 12 February 2010, 03:44:19 pm »
Quote from: Jewel on 12 February 2010, 01:40:46 pm
Received this text last night (I like it when they are laconic):



Well, he asked, it would be rude to turn him down.

I admire your courteousness there :)
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