it continues to amuse me that they think its all about the sex and not anything to do with the money!!

(if the sex is good, hey its a bonus )

It's only coming up to 2pm & I've turned my phone off already. I'd rather see no one at all today than deal with the lovely lot that have been calling me. My phone has been hurled across the room several times already, especially after this one:

Me: Hello
Him: Hello?
Me: Hi there, who is this?
Him: Oh. Are you open today?
Me:....open?
Him: Yeh are you open?
Me: *hangs up & throws phone across room in disgust*

OPEN?! Seriously? What is wrong with men & their willy brains?!

They really are out in force recently. It must be TW season or something!

This morning I receive a very presumptuous email form someone who has been once before - He is just emailing me to say that he has went all the way into work on the train (which happens to be near my incall location)  but only just realised it is a bank holiday!! and apparently he has left his wallet on the train (how convenient!) and is now "soooo bored babe. I thought I just come and see you for a coffee and a chat if you are around".

Oh really did you now? I'm fecking working! You know.. for money. That has to be the most chancy freebie request I've ever heard! He must think he is being subtle! I'm so glad he does not have my new phone number, only my AW email.

I read his mail but did not reply as I was busy with actual bookings, and 2 hours later I got his second attempt -

"I'm sooo bored been walking around town for 2 hours. Nothing to do. Any suggestions babe?"

He seriously must think I'm going to invite him round to my incall place for free because he has 'left his wallet on the train' and then he will charm me with his subtle wit and get a freebie. Genius! 

(not hoovering though)

What's this? I am conjuring images of reverse fanny farting!

Quote from: natasha on 26 September 2011, 05:55:30 pm

Quote from: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 02:54:15 pm

(not hoovering though)

What's this? I am conjuring images of reverse fanny farting!

That's using a vacuum cleaner to remove dust and debris from carpets. Just thought someone might read it wrong .

Cracking up here!!

Okay, that ^ is pretty much the lamest attempt at tricking someone into phone sex that I've ever heard!

It's like, "So, hi, yes. I need to book an appointment because I was about to slip my rock hard winky into my girlfriend's wet hooha but then I remembered that I don't even like that woman so I told her to get out of my goddamn house and never come back! But now I really, really need someone to come round and assume a doggy-receiving position in front of me because, well, I'm somehow unable to move once I've started having sex until it's all finished. So... if you can't get here in 5 minutes, could you just maybe describe to me what you would do if you saw my marvellous winky winking at you? Thx babe!"

Yeah. Odd.

Indeed ! More like can you  stay on the phone while I just..........service myself and pretend to call my girlfriend at the same time ? That way you will know I am not just calling you for a freebie. Honest.

Ah, well such is life. I will now go and think of a lovely name to save him under  in my phone incase he tries again. Any suggestions?

I rarely do any long text stuff unless it's comedy gold that I can later post on this thread.
Last night. A text sequence from a client I've seen three times. That's the only reason I did the text ping pong.

Chancer: Hiya hope you remember me

Me: End house, pub across road. Into property development...Oh, and a rather nice man. 

Chancer: Ok you got it and hopefully the last bit! What you doing tonight?

Me: Do you want me to visit you again for an hour, tonight?

Chancer: I need to go to the bank send you att text in ten xx

Me: Cool

15 minutes later:
Chancer: Hi babe trust me

Me: ? ? ?

Chancer: Come over and I will pay tom

Me: Tom? Who is Tom?

Chancer: Tomorrow xxx

Me: I only visit if you pay as soon as I arrive. As I have to also pay my driver.
In short, if you don't have my fee tonight, I will not visit you tonight.
If you can get my fee tonight, great!
Call me AFTER YOU HAVE IT.
I can then visit you.

Chancer: Sorry did not mean to upset you

Me: I'm not upset. Do you want to get the fee now?
Or would you prefer to get the fee tomorrow and see me tomorrow as well?

Chancer: Ok point taken

Tonight:
Me: Hiyas Chancer. Are you looking to book me tonight?  . xxx

Chancer: No sorry another time soon x