just had quite an interesting text

'looking for an outcall tonight, around 9ish do you do outdoor play? looking to submit and be humiliated if possible.'

a few texts later i establish he is in coventry (so quite far) i explain i would need charge him an hours rate. and would do outside if i could bring my driver.

he replied 'i was looking for 30 mins for 60-70 please? its all for your amusement?'

so i was to travel to middle of nowhere for less than half what i charge and .. oh yes.. it was my enjoyment he was thinking of?? lol

so i sent a text back saying 'bye good luck'

and i just got another back

'bottle of perfume as wel? armani'

omg lmfao... oh i should have jumped at the chance huh?

 

liesa
xxx

I would have said you deserve a medal for putting up with his idiocy since March,you must have a saints patience Cassie,i would have snapped after the first fortnight

If he wants to make it up to you he could always come round and landscape your garden for free.

Wow, Look at me and my goddess powers pulling them all out of the woodwork  I was trying to spot all the red flags and really it is just 700 words of it. How many did you see?  (I've highlighted a few, I'm actually trying to get past paragraph 1 and still haven't)

 **
I saw your ad on [redacted] and really am interested in learning more
about you. Just to give you a little info about myself, I am an [idiot]
currently living in [sillyville] that accepted a new sales position at my company
and will be living in the UK for 10 months with potential for a permanent
position there. I'm really excited! I will be coming in a few weeks so I
would love to have a provider who shares the same fantasies as me.
I adore women and want to find the right fantasy provider
that I can see on a regular basis. Your pics and your profile caught
my eye. Your services listed swallowing and I think that it is so sexy to see a
woman enjoying it!  I love your pics too, very hot!!

I am looking for a dependable provider who I click with and both enjoy
each others company. I am 31, Caucasian, 230. I am expecting a pretty
stressful job so I want to find the right woman that can fulfill my
fantasy whenever we meet. I want to be forward about my desires so if
detailed specifics offend you, please disregard this email as I do understand
that every woman has their own preferences. I certainly do not want
to come off as offensive toward you but also want to be respectful of
both of our time. Your pics really got my mind racing and I want a
friend that is into the same things that I am into so we can enjoy each
other every time we get together.

My intention is to find a steady that really enjoys giving extra kinky oral.
I am specifically searching for a friend that loves tasting me and insists
enthusiastically on swallowing everything, every time regardless of where
(fingers, face, stomach, cock) so I can get a sexy visual everytime I cum.
It's so hot to see and feel and I get a rush of sensations
from a goddess doing this for me.. I'd love to be able to find
someone that is open to facials and licking everything clean using her
fingers giving me that super hot visual rush. I really need to find a
special woman that likes to be fed as many times as she can, can be
creative for me visually (cumplay before swallowing), and can be
typically available with 24 hour notice on future meets. I also would
love to find a girl that encourages me with dirty talk and I absolutely
love to see those stockings on you if we meet.

I do want it to be the experience to be enjoyable for both of us so
please understand that I want to find the right girl with the same
preferences. I love that your profile stated that you enjoy swallowing.
I would like to know specifically if you would be open to giving a porno
style/cum play finish and showing me your swallow. I know it's specific
but I've often fantasized about finding a goddess that craves my cum.
My flight is scheduled for January 3 (morning). Hopefully
we can start meeting as often as we can if you thing you would enjoy
eating my cum.

I'm so excited about the UK and my job!! I'll send you some info/pics
as well if you will be my cumeating specialist.

I hope to hear from you,
[PINOCCHIO]


Evie's note:  ummm.... Noooooooo!!!!!   I actually read it now, and it is just... gross! 

Oh dear god! Well, it was the paragraph 1-2, he wants a service provider, paragraph 3, you have been upgraded to friend, paragraph 4, he is hinting at 'finding a girl'. If this idiot had kept on, you could well be on your way to being asked to become the next Mrs. Idiot. There really should be law against this kind of idiocy.

 ;DMaybye if he had continued in the same vein by paragraph 8 they would have been divorced and she would have taken half his money

 There must be an easier way to get my hands on a tenner!! 

Here is a thought, now with cloning technology coming ,  can't we just order up some perfect clients? I had a client today ask me if I had a nice foufou? What was he expecting me to say to that question?

Something about bashing field mice, I think.

Ah, those 'singing kettle' days.

How did that song go?

Little bunny foufou hopping though the forest, ?picking up? the field mice and bashing 'em on the head ...

Can't remember anymore?

Hey Vi, maybe he wants you to bash him on the head?