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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2655796 times)

cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #15 on: 30 August 2009, 06:02:15 pm »
Whilst at my working flat we had a quiet week. So advertised a 15min quickie....

Him- You do a 15min quickie and a 2 girl?
Me-Yes, which would you like?
Him-2Girl for 15mins
Me-2Girl is minimum 30 mins
Him- but I only want tossing off!
Me- Its X? for that
Him- Awwwww it says on your profile X? for 15 mins
Me-Is that what you want?
Him- Yes
Me- Oh sorry I misunderstood. Perhaps you intended to neck a bottle of vodka prior to your appointment, so you could see two of me?
Him-Huh?
Me- In that case I shall be both girls and toss you off for X?
Him - Click!


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Fallingstar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #16 on: 30 August 2009, 06:11:42 pm »
2 girls for 15 minutes,boy ain't someone the last of the big spenders? ;D

I love it when clients ring me and want duo appointments at the last minute. I had one guy ring me at 3pm last week wanting a booking at 3.30pm with me and another girl,he was astonished when i said i couldn't organise a duo at such short notice. He clearly thought i had female friends living in the wardrobe ready to be brought out at a moments notice.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #17 on: 31 August 2009, 05:20:16 am »
Here's one from last week.

Him: So you offer extras in your services, what are those extras?
Me: I dont go into details about it, but you can just tell me what it is specifically you want
Him: (rambles on, says nothing about what he wants, probably doesnt know)
Me: Like I said, I do offer extras but I wont go into details of it over the phone. What time do you have in mind?
him: In about 30 minutes to an hour.
Me: Ok, whats the address?
Him: Well, I have to think about it some more
Me: Think about what? Look, at this point you clearly have no idea what you want. If you cant let me know what it is you want, dont call me unless you have it figured out.

Oil-slick bastard. Trying to trick me into talking dirty over the phone.
« Last Edit: 31 August 2009, 05:21:59 am by JoeyR »
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #18 on: 31 August 2009, 07:50:15 pm »
Heres another one...this time, an email. Its why Im about to stop answering them on a particular site.

Me: Hi,
 
I recieved an email reponse from you to my ad JoeyBryant on men4rent. Here's the link to my ad http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=215836&Login=JoeyBryant214
 
What are you interested in?

him: (the next morning) Thanks for the reply, but its not going to work this time.


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Carla

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #19 on: 01 September 2009, 05:59:17 pm »
To my inbox today:

"Hi I am {name} for sex"

If anyone can work out a) what he means and b) what sort of reply he was expecting then you win......AN OVERNIGHT WITH HIM!! Woooooooh!




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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #20 on: 01 September 2009, 06:03:43 pm »
I have the answer to that one! Had a similar email myself. The enquiry was as to weather there was a charge for my services or if I met up with random men purely for my own entertainment. hmmmmmmmm........
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #21 on: 01 September 2009, 07:19:14 pm »
Quote from: Carla on 01 September 2009, 05:59:17 pm
If anyone can work out a) what he means and b) what sort of reply he was expecting then you win......AN OVERNIGHT WITH HIM!! Woooooooh!

LOL!
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LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #22 on: 02 September 2009, 03:24:55 pm »
Hahaha! Here we go:


-----------------------------------
I'm potentially interested in an overnighter with your lovely self tomorrow evening. It would be in central london in a top hotel, the swankier the better! :)

The night would involve drinks out in London followed by some cheeky fun back at the hotel. I feel like treating myself for my birthday - so you can expect a top evening :)

Just wondering what the best rate you could do for an eve like this? I was looking for someone around the ?400 mark, I know that could well be a stretch! I'm not a timewaster etc. I've paid ?400 for the past overnighters I've had, hence me quoting that figure.

Also, do you have any clearer pics you could send me?  Also, just double checking, are you an English lass?[/b]
------------------


Wow... Hear that? I can expect less than half my rate and a top evening all at the same time! You are all SO super jealous of me:)
« Last Edit: 02 September 2009, 03:27:44 pm by Evie »
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #23 on: 02 September 2009, 03:47:28 pm »
Maybe the poor dear's just coming across badly, but is he telling you his hotel preferences because he expects you to book something suitably swanky?

(I had an email request once where points a-c were about accompanying someone to London and being a fake girlfriend for show, and point d was, "get me home to Brighton safely by 11.45pm, unless it's a 5 star hotel alternative". It was quite baffling and I couldn't compose myself enough to respond until after the deadline.)
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brandy@saafe

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #24 on: 02 September 2009, 04:04:57 pm »
Quote from: Evie on 02 September 2009, 03:24:55 pm
Hahaha! Here we go:


-----------------------------------
I'm potentially interested in an overnighter with your lovely self tomorrow evening. It would be in central london in a top hotel, the swankier the better! :)

The night would involve drinks out in London followed by some cheeky fun back at the hotel. I feel like treating myself for my birthday - so you can expect a top evening :)

Just wondering what the best rate you could do for an eve like this? I was looking for someone around the ?400 mark, I know that could well be a stretch! I'm not a timewaster etc. I've paid ?400 for the past overnighters I've had, hence me quoting that figure.

Also, do you have any clearer pics you could send me?  Also, just double checking, are you an English lass?[/b]
------------------


Wow... Hear that? I can expect less than half my rate and a top evening all at the same time! You are all SO super jealous of me:)


An oxymoron surely. A top rate evening at ?400. And you have some gorgeous pictures on your website, what more does he need to see?
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #25 on: 02 September 2009, 06:27:51 pm »
Sounds like he wants face pics and a bunch of free time with you. ::) Again, I reckon this might be one of the guys who really confuses escorting with dating?! And doesn't understand that the rates are what they are because the sex is 100% guaranteed awesomeness. I'm pretty sure these guys are prowling around Match.com and Adultfriendfinder as well as escort sites and getting themselves in a right tizzy!
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LondonEvie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #26 on: 02 September 2009, 10:53:35 pm »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 02 September 2009, 06:27:51 pm
Sounds like he wants face pics and a bunch of free time with you. ::) Again, I reckon this might be one of the guys who really confuses escorting with dating?! And doesn't understand that the rates are what they are because the sex is 100% guaranteed awesomeness. I'm pretty sure these guys are prowling around Match.com and Adultfriendfinder as well as escort sites and getting themselves in a right tizzy!

Or rather someone who thinks I'll take a much lower fee because he is offering me a night in a fancy-pants hotel room shared by a young stud. (bit I edited out he says he's 26)
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #27 on: 02 September 2009, 11:37:30 pm »
I would be quite tempted if the hotel had a health spa type place and I had a good book.
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #28 on: 03 September 2009, 07:07:16 am »
Since I put my first ever Viva street ad up, I've been getting stupid texts! ;D

Only two so far and sadly they are getting less funny and more stupid. But the first one was good!

"Hi emily im *****. ive seen ur ad. ur stunning. if i was food id want u to eat me"

Oh no wait, the second one was funny at the end. "[txtspk blah]want2 meet up?i'm inexperienced!feminine guy!x x x"

Wot?!
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Fallingstar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #29 on: 03 September 2009, 09:15:21 am »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 03 September 2009, 07:07:16 am
Since I put my first ever Viva street ad up, I've been getting stupid texts! ;D

Only two so far and sadly they are getting less funny and more stupid. But the first one was good!

"Hi emily im *****. ive seen ur ad. ur stunning. if i was food id want u to eat me"

Oh no wait, the second one was funny at the end. "[txtspk blah]want2 meet up?i'm inexperienced!feminine guy!x x x"

Wot?!

I will have your second one Emily,got a thing for girlie guys.

If its vivastreet we are talking about how about this text i got yesterday
'I am a businessman who loves to dress in women's underwear,i would love to meet up with you and wear your knickers. I have some pictures i can send you of me in women's underwear to help you make up your mind'

eh???

Or the phonecall i had yesterday with guy looking for an outcall home booking. I explained i would need his FULL address inc postcode,tel number and FULL name for my security checks or i would not be able to honour the booking. So he sends me a text after the phonecall with first line of his address (no postcode) and his first name with no surname and a note saying 'please don't ring my house or my family might answer'.
I haven't even replied yet,i am in such despair with the idiots at the moment that words have literally failed me.
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