This weeks highlights (or should that be lowlights?)
Via text
Him: Hi. I like your succinct and straightforward profile, which is very refreshing on this site! I'm looking to meet on tomorrow evening for a couple of hours. Home for me is Okehampton, but I'm in Southampton overnight on Thursday (staying at Jurys Inn) and there is an "opportunity". Please feel free to call....
Me: I'm happy to host but I'm not doing outcalls at the moment. Let me know if you can come to me x
Him: May I call?
Me: No
Him: Just to check where you are and whether you offer owo?
Me: Read my profile, lots of lovely answers on there love
Him: Silence
Overnight Twat Caller last night
Rings at 1.40am
Texts at 1.41am: Hi are you available your green light is on
Me at 5.46am: The green light means AVAILABLE TODAY, that means WITHIN my working hours. NOT stupid o'clock (I block all late night twats so he's blocked at this stage)
Him at 9am: Ok thanks, can I still book?
Him at 9.01am: I'm looking for a slow lovemaking session lots of passionate french kissing, pussy licking, owo and sex ect
Me: You're blocked, save your messages for someone who's actually going to read them
Him: Why though
Him: It said on the profile if green light and out of hours you might still be available that's why I texted not called
Some other genius contacts me asking quesions that are answered on my profile, which I direct him back to..
Him: Hi yes I have read it thanks. I'm on site until about 11.30 I think. I'm new to this so looking for someone who does the owo etc Whereabouts are you
Me: Sigh and block