I really wish there was an award for the most inventive message ever because I really think I have a great contender here...

Text yesterday (only just stopped laughing now)

'Hi im peter i know this sounds silly but would you sell a bloke to a chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for him if it was his fantasy'

I mean what can you say to that! Now I'll be very upset if any of you have had this too, he's mine...

Sorry but he texted me yesterday!

I've also had one which I think is also from him saying

"Hi I'm Peter would you cover me in sun dried tomatoes and cook me"

I replied "Sorry that's too middle class for me, Aldi tinned tomatoes will have to do"

A nice day off for me but I checked my texts and one thoughtful man who is to be commended for his discretion  , asked if I would meet up in my local pub for a little drink and then he would "follow" me back to mine.

You got to hand it to some of them for imagination.

I had similar, but he wanted to meet in a local pub to us both and have me give him a BJ in the toilets!

I had similar, but he wanted to meet in a local pub to us both and have me give him a BJ in the toilets!

I had some clown try this toilet meet up on me last year claimed he was staying at premier inn
Yet when I got there " oh I'll meet you in the loo luv can u do it in there "?
I drove off without answering his texts 

Would you give me an hour booking in exchange for 7 bottles of wine worth 80.00 ?
I didn't need to reply 

Good morning

Hope you are safe and well? I want to be cheeky and ask for a invite to yours for a few hours on Friday? Chill and fuck I am horny as hell but skint. I can come in uniform if that will convince you haha.

Your RAF guy Mark xxxx

 

Did he get lost? Does he think he's on Tinder??? Honestly! IT'S OUR JOB!

Saying that some of my actual clients are surprised when I say this is my only source of income. "It's not my hobby love!"

Good morning

Hope you are safe and well? I want to be cheeky and ask for a invite to yours for a few hours on Friday? Chill and fuck I am horny as hell but skint. I can come in uniform if that will convince you haha.

Your RAF guy Mark xxxx

 

Omg I don?t know if he?s trying to wind you up or he really is that stupid! I?d go with the latter though as we all know there?s a huge misconception that sws are just so damn horny all the time that we?ll take what we can get! These idiots infuriate me!


This reminds me of a time when I worked for an escort agency & myself and another girl were booked to go to a house with 2 guys and when we got there we exchanged names and then asked for the cash and one of the guys turned to us and said, ?we?ve no cash but we know how horny you escorts are & we have alcohol, good music & we can hold a great conversation?, and the other girl and I looked at each other & just laughed! We then phoned our boss who was pissed off and she asked to speak to one of the guys and she gave him it tight and asked him why the fuck are you booking escorts when you?ve no cash, and she said that she had told him the price over the phone and they had agreed to it, the guy went red & ended up putting the phone down on her and we swiftly left whilst the guys looked on! I genuinely think they were stupid rather than just trying it on! Honestly the amount of clients that are so deluded is unbelievable!! If I was just a horny bitch then I wouldn?t charge, I?d just give it away!

I just had a call from an unknown number who said Hi baby. I hung up smiling glad that my life is much better now. Over the bright horizon idiots give me even more determination to keep following my heart leaving idiot clients down there. I always thought back then about escorting attracts many ruff necks who wouldn't be seen in broad daylight. As they wouldn't last long.