See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594221 times)

sara1980

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 52
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1110 on: 27 May 2011, 05:20:23 pm »

This just in  ::)

Cock - R u working.do you kiss.anal?where do i come?how much
Me     - Where did you get my number?
Cock - Off the net.that adultwork
Me     - All of the information you have asked for is on there, have a look and call me if interested in booking.
Cock - Ok.how much?
Ignored.....
Cock - How much?
Me - All of the information you have asked for is on there, have a look and call me if interested in booking. (Resent)
Cock - where do i come?
Ignored
Cock - Whats your website again-

Sweet Lord! How the fook do these people manage to function on a daily basis?! I mean, come on.... It's not rocket science is it?? I don't even have a website so the utter imbecile can't even got that right. Twat!!

And breath...... lol

Rooby

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 737
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1111 on: 27 May 2011, 06:51:29 pm »
An irresistable offer...

"Please could I spend a day pampering you between clients (i will sit in the bathroom when you are entertaining) I'd love to prepare you first thing in the morning, and be there to amuse and clean you between clients. I wont charge you for this service"

Bet you're all jealous of me now...?
No? Lol

Ruby xx

sweet jane

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 550
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1112 on: 27 May 2011, 09:10:50 pm »
^^^
thanks Ruby, that made me laugh.  ;D

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1113 on: 28 May 2011, 12:39:47 am »
This seems like a suitable place too vent! I've had 2 of my "ignores" harassing my phone! One I text this morning to take a hint and stop texting me, all went quiet, i thought yipee, now all night again!

The other has been harassing me for a booking, I've ignored all messages and phone calls and he texts me his full address!! I haven't responded too anything and he sends his full address! nutter! Oooh the things I could do with it lol the mind ponders  ;D

Rooby

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 737
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1114 on: 28 May 2011, 12:23:04 pm »
Hi Friday
the best thing I ever did was get an App for my phone that has a blacklist function (I use a Blackberry and its called iBlocker-Pro) I someone annoys me I click one button and it Blacklists them. After that every call is picked up and immediately dropped so they cant leave a message, and every text is replied to with a message telling them their Text has 'not reached the recipient' Works like a dream, and saves me from sooooo much stress!
Ruby xx

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1115 on: 28 May 2011, 01:07:23 pm »
Hi Friday
the best thing I ever did was get an App for my phone that has a blacklist function (I use a Blackberry and its called iBlocker-Pro) I someone annoys me I click one button and it Blacklists them. After that every call is picked up and immediately dropped so they cant leave a message, and every text is replied to with a message telling them their Text has 'not reached the recipient' Works like a dream, and saves me from sooooo much stress!
Ruby xx

yeah this is my phone...  ;D

(http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q205/batuchka/nokia-2730-classic-photo.jpg)

Im the only person who has gone backwards with technology lol
« Last Edit: 12 August 2011, 09:33:53 pm by Anika Mae »

WelshieGirly

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1116 on: 01 June 2011, 06:44:58 pm »
Hi,

New to the site but I have been an escort for about 6 years now.

I totally enjoyed reading this thread and laughed sooo much!

Just had to add my todays favorite -

Idiot (Calling me on the number found on my AW page) - Hi can i have a dom session for tomorrow please?

Me - Sure but you will need to send me a booking request through AdultWork for advanced bookings.

Idiot- Ah, i cant cos i dont have an email address?

Me - Make one?

Idiot - Cant, I dont know how to work a computer... (wtf ?!)

Me - But you found me online?

Idiot - Yeah, so can i have a booking?

Me - *click*

...Born yesterday? no i wasnt!

Welshie x

Kitty_of_Herts

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 89
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1117 on: 01 June 2011, 08:54:39 pm »
I work in both Hertfordshire and London. I state rather obviously that the prices listed in my profile are for outside of London only. So I got this guy asking if I could do an early morning booking tomorrow:
   
Quote
R: It sounds rather tempting - can you confirm how much it would be as you say your london rates would be higher?

Moi:  Yes indeed :)

It's ?180 so only ?20 more. Is that ok? K xxx

R:    
You know what I dont want to be miserly - but I think I will leave it I dont really want to pay more than ?160.

sorry

If you don't want to pay more than ?160 why did you even ask in the first place? What did you expect me to say? "?160 and a packet of cheese and onion crisps for London please?"

 

EmilyJones

  • Member
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3,005
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1118 on: 01 June 2011, 09:13:05 pm »
R:    
You know what I dont want to be miserly - but I think I will leave it I dont really want to pay more than ?160.

sorry

Lol. His sad little "sorry" at the end is especially amusing - I bet he did think you were going to say ?162 for London. ;D

It's funny the sort of consumer "logic" (AKA crazypants brain functions-or-lack-of) that exists even within our industry. If you see one price for something and then a higher price for the same thing, most people will put a ridiculous amount of effort into not having to pay the higher price - even if it's a CD available online for ?11 or in a shop somewhere miles away for ?9, someone will always end up paying ?5 in petrol/train fare to go and buy the cheaper one!

Because of this, I would personally never have two different rates showing at the same time - it's not worth the "?10 extra? OMG! That is an IMPOSSIBLY higher amount!!1!" sort of nonsense from people. But then, I am the sort of person who'd pay more (or risk earning less) to avoid having to put tons of effort into dealing with annoying stuff. :P
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1119 on: 01 June 2011, 09:39:57 pm »
Idiot - Cant, I don't know how to work a computer... (wtf ?!)

When i insisted someone book me through AW his excuse was he couldn't because he was illiterate  ::)

I know you shouldn't laugh but I always do, has anyone seen the advert for the help group for adults at the cinema during the trailers. It goes: "if you have trouble will reading, writing and numbers, call the number below!" ha ha advert fail!  ;D

Kitty_of_Herts

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 89
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1120 on: 01 June 2011, 10:58:20 pm »
Because of this, I would personally never have two different rates showing at the same time - it's not worth the "?10 extra? OMG! That is an IMPOSSIBLY higher amount!!1!" sort of nonsense from people. But then, I am the sort of person who'd pay more (or risk earning less) to avoid having to put tons of effort into dealing with annoying stuff. :P

Maybe I should've just given him the number to my agency in London.

"They... told me... *cough* *splutter* it was an extra *cough COUGH SPLUTTER* FORTY POUNDS! THAT IS FORTY OVER WHAT IS WAS PREPARED TO PAY. *Falls on floor* *Has a heart attack*"

Next time haha.



Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1121 on: 04 June 2011, 07:49:14 pm »
This really should be timewasters section but technically its me refusng to go!

I think I have the winner in this thread! I honestly do not believe it!!!!

Guy been texting just before the weekend, texts this morning for an appointment this evening at 10:30pm.

Which is fine, experience tells me most appointments booked in advance will cancel. Someone else asks for an appointment that will clash, I double check its still on, it is, happy days.

Texts to ask if i can come earlier, sure I said, 8pm? good stuff. I get ready and im running about 20/30 minutes early so I text and see if thats okay and the conversation goes like this:

Me "I'm good to go now so could be early if thats ok?"
Wierdo "Sure, im using my mums house so we'll be in my brothers room"
Me "It is just you in though yeah?"
Wierdo "She's in but I'll take you straight to the room, she doesnt intrude"
Me "No chance!!!"
Sick Wierdo "It's only my mum thats in, she wont be in for long"

WTF!?!?!?!? When he could have had me arrive after she left!

Dont invite whores round to your mums house while she's still in!!!!!!!!!!  :o


Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1122 on: 05 June 2011, 12:13:22 am »
Got to love the weekends, all the real freaks come out. this is a long one, i didnt read the "story first" but a bit caught my eye then i couldnt help it, its the most ridiculous awfull thing ever and absolutely hilarious!!! Know doubt it will be copied and pasted about tonight. (and no he's never had a show from me but im glad im his favourite  ;D ) (mods i also apologise it really is very long! lol  :o )

hi!bb how are you doing?
you are my "most"favorite performer on the site.you are my NO.1 dream girl.
you not only have wonderful body,but i can also see you are a intelligent woman through your beautiful eyes.

I have a an incredible fantasy role-play that i wanna u to perform.bb

In this one, I will be killed by you first, my sexy professional killer. and before I die i will set up a automative weapon system to shoot you to death.Love your show so much!

Could u imagine a role play like this?Assume you are a professional killer, one of the best, who has killed thousands of men by using ur perfect body,never failed before.When u killing a man,u usually fuck him first,ur favourite position is FUCK ON TOP

because u always want to control the men.When they enjoyed the most,u always shoot them 44 hot leads bullets inside their body.Blood comes out everywhere,it makes u excited,and u continue to shoot and fuck them.

Finally,u put last bullet inside their mouth to finish their life. This is u, a great sexy unstoppable professional killer!

Today,u got an order,I am ur target.Unfortunately,I am professional killer,too.But, u did not notice that.And I am responsible to get rid of u because u killed one of top agency in my company.

Like usual,we meet in a hotel room,u take off ur clothes,take out ur huge tits,message body oils all over ur tits,looks real something.And like others,I am attracted by ur beautiful body.

Then u take out my cock,and suck on it.It seems like a delicious meal that you've been ever seen before. u enjoyed very much on sucking men's dicks,but u don't know it's ur last one.

U ride on my body,and start fuck me on the top,it's ur favourite position.But u can't imagine it's the last fuck in ur life.U are quick, no interaction, just put my dick into ur wet pussy and fucking.

Ur lovely tits are nice to move when u fucking on the top.You enjoyed fucking on my big cock,and u keep fucking me real fast last 44 minutes,and ur oiled tits moving really fast.

Then my pay time is coming.u get ur machine gun from ur back,you start to shoot me,thousands of bullets going through my body,and i am totally fucked up.

then you saying:"I'm a professional killer, one of the best, who has killed thousands of men by using my perfect body,never failed before.When I am killing a man,I usually fuck them first,and my favourite position is FUCK ON TOP

saying:"because I always want to control the men.When they enjoyed the most,I always shoot them 44 hot leads bullets inside their body.Blood comes out everywhere,it makes me excited,and I continue to shoot and fuck them."

you saying:"Finally,I put last bullet inside their mouth to finish their life. This is me, a great sexy unstoppable professional killer!"

Then,you take out your long sword,put it in my stomach so many times,you look very wild when you killing me.

As a professional killer, one last idea before I die is to get rid of you.And I prepared a automatic weapon system in the room. When push a button on my remote control,then 100 machine guns will come out.

at that time thousands of machine guns goes out from the ground.and you right tit gets a first shot,u are surprised to looked at me."how did you do that?"

A bullet hole is on ur huge tit,u feel so much painful,because it's ur first time to be shot.Then u aren't be a loser, the machine gun is still on ur hand, u still wanna fight back.

you saying:"it doesn't matter I got shot, but I will kill you first!motherfucker!"

Then it's time for me to say goodbye, you put your machine-gun into my mouth,and shoot lots of bullets into my mouth,and I am facking dead.

you are laughing loudly, saying:"fuck,there are so many machine-guns surrounding me, seems like my fight in my life.what a sad story, killed target,but end up killing by his weapons after he died."

you start to talk dirty, saying:"I don't care I will be killed later because I have killed you first.Lets shoot me hard enough because I am enjoy the feeling that bullets going through my sexy body"and you start laughing.

But at that time,ur tits get another 8 bloody holes,ur machine gun fall on the ground.u touched ur huge tits,and looked at them.u saying:"I can't believe I've been shot by couple of hot lead bullets."

U are smiling, u saying:"i know time is up.But I still don't wanna be a loser,even if I don't have a gun,I still got my pussy.I wanna fuck your dead cock to death.let do my last sex in my life"

U start to fuck me on top very quick,u saying:" look at my bloody tits with lots of bullets holes on them,blood comes out everywhere.you are a son of bitch fucking machines to shoot me so many bullets and I feel so much pain."

Then I pick up ur machine gun on the ground. Before shooting back, u saying:" I usually shoot people 44 bullets in their month. and I wanna use the same way to kill myself by using my own gun."

After that U are laughing,and keep fucking on the top.Then U are shot by 44 bullets.Ur body is shaking, bullets come to u all over ur tits, niples,blood everwhere.Then,U are fucked up.

U saying:"I am almost a dead gril,but I am still strong enough to handle bullets",U ride on the top again to fuck again,but very slow.U look at ur bloody tits and tell the machines to shoot on niples.Then Ur nipples get another several shots.

Then, you saying that "I had already thought I will end up like that,I have killed 444 people as a great killer. Once I killed a person, I would imagine I'll end up like them someday. Now, it's my time."

You saying:"fucking weapon! shoot 444 bullets on my huge tits, I want the number of bullets holes on my body equal to the number of people I killed, because I feel like I owe 444 bullets to the people that I killed."

saying:"one bullet per life. Fair enough. machines please agreed, loaded 444 hot lead bullets in it.I looked sexy with lots of bloody holes on my lovely body,and it will be even more sexy laster"

Before It start shooting you, you saying: "you really should record this,fucking weapons.let people see how I get punished, the greatest professional killer get shot by thousands of bullets. let people see how bad i've been fucked up.hahahaha This is what I deserved."

You saying:" let you go out and handle bullets!" The shooting starts, lots lots lots lots of bullets comes from everywhere,and concentrait on ur big sexy bloody tits. You lost ur control, bloods goes out everywhere,you are shaking badly through entire 4 minutes.

It can tell how painful it is from ur face, but u are still strong enough to handle lots of bullets like that.Unbelievable.

you looked at ur huge bloody tits with full of bullets holes,which looks even more sexy.u said: "my tits look good,don't they? Can you dead motherfuck satisfy my last wish in my life?"

You said you wanna suck my dead cock until it cum all over ur tits.maybe I agreed because I am already dead.u put my cock into ur mouth.And you start to suck it very hard,you put my cock deep into ur throat,and you look so enjoyed.this is ur specialty.

After 14 minutes, you put my dead cock between ur tits.you squeeze ur tits to tight my cock in the middle,bloods goes out everywhere from bullets holes,it seems like thousands of bullets went through ur tits.

you saying:"It's like a blood stream on my huge tits,make my dead cock excited. Unbelievable dead cock,isn't it?" Finally,it cum all over ur tits,mix with oil,blood on ur tits which full of bullets holes.

you looks satisfied and you saying:" you are a loser in our competitions, because I killed you first." you are so happy that laughed out so loud,even if there are thousands of hot lead bullets went through ur body.

At last,you saying:" I owe u a life which I deserve another 44 hot leads bullets on my nipples,tits and stomach b/c you were killed by me in cold blood."

you saying:" I wanna feel the hot leads bullets went through my body one last time,and I enjoyed that sort of pain all over my tits,nipples which are the weapons let me be one of the best killers."

Then you saying:" I like the feeling that is going to be destroyed because I am a bad girl who deserved all of this."you start to touch ur tits,and use ur hand to touch the bullets holes.

you saying:"It is painful to let me be excited to wait for my final punishment."You put a piece of cum into ur mouth,it full of oils,blood and cum.

Then,You saying:" your cum tastes freaking bad." You give a middle finger telling the machine-guns start shooting.You saying:"I wanna let the machine-guns shoot me as bad as possible.

you extend ur arms,and the machine-guns start shooting at you.Cold leads bullets went through ur tits,nipples,stomach.Blood comes out everywhere,even on ur face.you look very painful!

You are scramming while you are blasting by 44 hot leads bullets.After 30 bullets went through ur fucking tits,you let the machines stop.there are another 30 bloody holes appears on ur tits.

You look at ur tits,and saying: "there is not enough space for bullets on my fucking nipples.Don't you fucking machines like them,then shoot on the fucking nipples!"

At that moment,you have gone crazy.You saying:" I wanna touch the feeling when bullets went though my nipple,the most sensitive place on my body."

Then machine-guns start shoot the rest of 14 bullets on ur nipples.It was sad,you were screaming,and it can tell that the last 14 bullets are the most painful ones.They went right though ur nipples.

you saying:"my nipples are becoming hard,and from one big hard nipple being 7 pieces.7 bullets for each nipple. Blood goes out everywhere",you are screaming"hahahaha"The machine gun has used up.

you saying:"Thousands of bullets have placed on my body.And I am still alive. I wanna be killed by myself. A great killer killed by herself, what a sad story!"

you saying:"I imagined many times, I were always willing to die like a great japanese warrior,to be stabbed by a long japenese sward right through the stomach.and then shot by a machine gun in the mouth"

you saying:"just like what I did to others, to end my own life. And my last word before I die is I really enjoy being a professional killer, I enjoy every single moment in killing people,and I enjoy every single bullets going through their body."

You saying:"I love my body,see my beautiful face and big eyes.see my huge tits and breast.I love them all.But life is fair,it let me killed by a dead man's weapon. and let one of the great professional killer killed by herself.and shot by thousands of bullets."

You saying:"look at my tits, they are my weapons to kill men,but now they are full of cold lead bullets holes and so bloody, destroyed by thousand of bullets."

you saying:"laster the most beautiful face,biggest tits and most wild killer will die in the blood y pools.I think it's time to say goodbye!"

then you end up to slowly put a long bloody japanese sward right though your stomach.at last you shoot 44 bullets into your mouth to finish your life"you keep opening ur eyes after U are dead.

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1123 on: 05 June 2011, 01:55:16 am »
Okay okay! 11 minutes before im signing off! and thank goodness too im a magnet for them tonight!  :o

And thought the above was my wierdest email ever! Oh no this, this for sure is thee strangest email I have ever recieved!  ???


*Some bloke* *some glasgow address*, DESTRYED My life, he broke my confidence and self esteram when i was 17/18, i'm ages 30 now (his profile says 40! lol), and *some bloke* Still endevours to Bully me, he's bulied me for over 13 years, i need help to stop him from Destroying my life, i'm being ABUSED. My name is *oddball*.

Can u help me babes, this guy has made my life an entire Missery, a duno what i'm going to do?

My Body is fireing onImpulse and *some bloke's* going to attemped to put me under the Knife, kin ye help'z out? names *oddball* am sittin here pure distraught dol
His Dads name is *some blokes dad, His Brothers name is *some blokes brother*, *some bloke's) gony put mer under the knife, his Dad is crazey aswell.

In Jesus name.

Think you could get him sorted for me?


 ??? ??? ???

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1124 on: 05 June 2011, 04:39:16 am »
Friday I lost the will to live half way through the first one and skipped to the end!!! What a deranged man. Good God, they walk among us and breed!

The second one???WTF?

How do you attract such nutters?

I sometimes feel left out not getting these weird emails but now I'm pretty glad I don't! LMAO

Hope you don't have nightmares tonight!

Love Coty xxx