Idiot: Are you available today?
Me: Yes, I could see you from 2pm onwards. How long do you want to visit for?
Idiot: 15 mins.
Me: OK that's ?50 and it's oral and HR only, not full sex.
Idiot: Not full sex? [always love it when they repeat what you say like a fucking echo chamber]
Me: Yes, you'd need to book a half hour appointment for full sex, it's ?80.
Idiot: Erm, I'll have to call you back.
Half hour later I get a text:
Idiot: Will you do full sex and that for ?70?
Me: Nope
I've actually just gone and taken quickies off my rates, seems to attract the cheap-arses.