LMAO....brilliant:-)

Coty x

hi as am low on cash at the moment, will you accept a 'Nokia 5530' mobile phone as a form of payment for a 30 mins appointment? its worth ?100 in shops, i'm 18 years old. thanks

Naaaaah thanks.

Lol, I love those ones, too. Because, dear boy, if that phone is "worth ?100 in shops" why don't you sell it? Then you can offer your preferred escort payment in cash, like a grown-up.

Love this:

hi as am low on cash at the moment, will you accept a 'Nokia 5530' mobile phone as a form of payment for a 30 mins appointment? its worth ?100 in shops, i'm 18 years old. thanks

Naaaaah thanks.

LMAO...oh my, they do try it on don't they? Never had anything as bizarre as that though! It's probably nicked too!

Coty xxx

2nd text: I am nt calling u a liar bt lets say i am a bit sceptical. It seems quite fashionable to claim to be a student.

Makes me LOL when i think about it... Seriously are you actually asking me this?

Makes me LOL, too! The weirdest thing about this man's deep concern for The Truth is that there really isn't some magical difference between a student's vagina and a non-student's vagina (or levels of service etc, to be less crude ) so I'm not sure what the point of some pillock going on a crusade to ask extremely complex and devious questions (like the one in your post above, ha) to determine whether or not you really are a student could be?!

Frankly, I know being a student might be a popular thing to claim because it implies youth and maybe part-time-ness or whatnot, but any sensible client would know you can have mature part-time students and any sort of in-between thing so all he needs to do to figure out whether or not he wants to see you is to read all the other words around the "student" bit in your profile.

Or I suppose he could just send texts that are quite hilarious because I imagine him literally frowning in consternation at your profile and feeling compelled to ask you (in illiterate txtspk, no less) if you really have TEH SMARTZ.

What a wally, I would be tempted to tell him that Geography lessons are extra.

Jas x

The funniest thing is that it's not actually an easy question to answer and not doable accurately in 140 characters...

But the first skill you learn at school/uni is Googling!

Hey sexy I would like to have an overnight booking with you at your place on 3rd May. I work music industry and have had a successful singing career so far.
My name is Dave im 40 years old, extremely handsome with a beautiful cock and balls.
However, I do not pay for sex so what I am offering is my voice for your hearing pleasure. I know this may seem unusual, but trust me I have an amazing voice and I'm willing to sing to you 10 songs of your choice. So basically you will enjoy some hot passionate sex with me and your own personal live concert from me!
Sorry if this was quite long but I am very much looking forward to meeting you as I'm sure you are excited too.
Thankyou
Dave x x x

Wow. Just... wow. The freebie hunters get more creative every time! Given that I don't do overnights at all it's an even worse offer. That said, given that he's offered me the choice of which 10 songs... I could really screw with him. We'll have some death metal, some opera written for a female singer, 'Taking the Hobbits to Isengard'... Oh and of course seeing as I always take payment up front, if any of them aren't up to standard I'll walk