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Author Topic: How do you protect your feelings in this job?  (Read 6935 times)

RKitten

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #15 on: 22 October 2018, 03:22:34 am »
It happens, just try to shrug it off and don't engage with him anymore.

I'm luckily very good at separating emotion from sex, perhaps even to my detriment. Certainly let a client treat you, gift you things, but always remember that at the end of the day it is a financial relationship. Don't listen to anything else they spout. I've been told by more than a few clients that they are in love with me, I just remind them of what the relationship is. And when I've gotten sweet on a client, I've told them I can't see them anymore. Try to be brutal, hard as it may be, otherwise you run the risk of being emotionally battered black and blue.
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NELady.x

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #16 on: 22 October 2018, 11:06:00 am »
If anyone wants to spend time with me, I offer them my social rates, so they know where I stand on it 100%... my time needs paid for.

As for the necklace, maybe keep it as a reminder of all the things not to do again :) wear it out to social meets with clients, every time you look at it you'll know your now doing things the right way :)

I've personally never encountered this but I can be ruthless lol. :P
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trashbaby

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #17 on: 23 October 2018, 12:02:57 am »
Quote from: Femefatale on 21 October 2018, 06:45:49 pm

Men are more likely to be successful in life because they are less emotional, in terms of how they act and react to things

or... because of systemic patriarchy and deeply ingrained societal privilege?
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amy

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #18 on: 23 October 2018, 12:17:43 am »
Quote from: trashbaby on 23 October 2018, 12:02:57 am
or... because of systemic patriarchy and deeply ingrained societal privilege?

;D.

And there was me trying desperately hard to forget I'd ever seen that. Unless of course, it actually is 1952.
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AnimalLover

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #19 on: 23 October 2018, 01:04:39 pm »
Quote from: trashbaby on 23 October 2018, 12:02:57 am
or... because of systemic patriarchy and deeply ingrained societal privilege?

I agree with this. Anyway, thank you for all of your help and advice. I have a much clearer head now. I do not usually get feelings like this (I have had so many people ask for free time or proposition me to be something more), two more recently and I understand that it is all about boundaries. Usually, I can't be bothered spending any more time with them anyway and just smile sweetly when they suggest such a thing.

It's all just about clear boundaries at the end of the day and the realisation that they are a client and nothing more.
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PissedOffPrincess

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #20 on: 28 October 2018, 08:56:01 am »
Separate Escort and Client

Escort needs to protect feelings and charge for time

Client needs to spend time with Escort as often as possible, best way to do that is get free time or reduced fee.

Its a game for both sides.

Feelings can  not be switched off but how much of you is real when you are Escorting.

I liked someone but he wanted free time/reduced fee  he didnt get it he never came back for full fee.

It is not about being hard hearted it is about being real not conned.
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Snow Whitest

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #21 on: 21 May 2020, 11:21:44 pm »
LOL feelings, what are they?!
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

TantricTease

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #22 on: 22 May 2020, 08:58:06 am »
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 21 May 2020, 11:21:44 pm
LOL feelings, what are they?!

Ditto! I have found that this job has turned me into a hard faced bitch and now I get what “selling your soul” means because for ages I wondered what exactly this meant!

I was worse when I worked in the brothel but that’s because you have so many different personalities around and there was lots of backstabbing with girls to the boss but I blame the boss for encouraging that sort of thing.

I feel like my soul is coming back now that I work for myself.

I know women who have been in this industry for 30 years and they have no empathy and no respect for marriage or relationships, which is understandable of course but it’s not always nice to hear people talking negatively of people’s relationships all the time.
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Snow Whitest

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #23 on: 22 May 2020, 09:41:06 pm »
I think, with me, I've never been one for feelings which has made relationships difficult in the past. That's why this job suits me because I don't have to put a face or an act on. I'm always me in bookings.. The thing is no one should have the power to make you feel anything you don't want to. I don't need men to validate me as a person. I know I'm awesome thanks! Anything a punter says to me good or bad, goes in one ear and out the other :)
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

CelesteManchester

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #24 on: 22 May 2020, 11:17:04 pm »
I just turn the emotional thermostat to zero & that’s that. Unfortunately it’s bled over into my personal life & I'm wondering if I can ever feel anything but suspicion & jade-ism...is that a word? It is now, for every guy I meet.
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TantricTease

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #25 on: 23 May 2020, 12:34:07 am »
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 22 May 2020, 11:17:04 pm
I just turn the emotional thermostat to zero & that’s that. Unfortunately it’s bled over into my personal life & I'm wondering if I can ever feel anything but suspicion & jade-ism...is that a word? It is now, for every guy I meet.

Same here! I am beginning to have zero empathy for people and I feel like I have turned into a person that I never used to be! Don’t get me wrong I loathe anything bad being done to animals but with humans I couldn’t really care unless it’s a child, I hate that part of me but I can’t help it 😢😢
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Lushblossom

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #26 on: 30 May 2020, 05:48:58 am »
I think we learn to detach better over time.  I remember in the first couple of years I fell for a client but as I have done this job for nearly 8 years I seldom get carried away. I hate commitment anyway and this job has enabled me to get attention sex and money without the hassle of commitment.
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Gypsy

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #27 on: 31 May 2020, 08:19:37 pm »
Quote from: TantricTease on 23 May 2020, 12:34:07 am
Same here! I am beginning to have zero empathy for people and I feel like I have turned into a person that I never used to be! Don’t get me wrong I loathe anything bad being done to animals but with humans I couldn’t really care unless it’s a child, I hate that part of me but I can’t help it 😢😢

Same here and have been like that for years. I love animals so, so much and am distraught if anything happens to them but people? Nah. Nothing, nada. Can't stand them.

Maybe in my next life I'll be a serial killer  :D
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GucciGang

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #28 on: 31 May 2020, 08:32:00 pm »
I would agree I had parents who didn’t care if I was dead or alive growing up so when these clients think they can fuck with me I’m like hunni you are nothing compared to what I had to deal with in the past. I learned to separate from trauma at a young age and it’s enabled me to do this job with ease.

The one thing I think now that I can’t seem to shake is that men are so weak because they are ruled by sex. Just everything is about sex all the time for them, it must be so exhausting. This makes me pity them. I could never have one snoring next to me or tell me what I can spend my money on. This job has made me very cynical on relationships in general.
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amy

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Re: How do you protect your feelings in this job?
« Reply #29 on: 31 May 2020, 10:37:15 pm »
Quote from: Blondieblueeyes on 31 May 2020, 08:32:00 pm
The one thing I think now that I can’t seem to shake is that men are so weak because they are ruled by sex.

Can we please take the sweeping sexist generalisations down a notch? It's hardly earthshattering news that people who sell sex to men are going to encounter a lot of men to whom it's important enough to pay for, is it - the rest which make up the vast majority won't be visiting prostitutes. That doesn't mean they don't exist :).
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